I wrote this poem in March of 2021
I was your short term adventure of lust
you tried to disguise as love
It was fun for a while
while we were both in denial
until you got tired of me and left
My broken heart, I had to atone
I don’t know how to go on
everything feels so wrong
I wrote this poem in March of 2023.
When I tell you I’m a poet-
please take me seriously
don’t think I’m some cute girl
who writes a few verses in her room
about how your kiss is a new kind of heaven
Poetry for me has a much deeper meaning,
poetry is how I bleed out all of my emotions
I hold within
When I tell you I’m a poet-
please don’t laugh at me or mock me
don’t berate the simplicity of my words
I weave into verse
It’s how I make sense of my explosion of thoughts
It’s how I express what I can’t say out loud
When I tell you I’m a poet-
don’t try to cure me of my poetic nature
and prey on my insecurities and try to kill
my dreams of making my art seen
I know how the odds are stacked against
someone like me
I don’t do it to make it to the mainstream-
I do it so other women like me
can be seen, can be inspired to dream
And finally when I tell you I’m a poet-
Appreciate the artist in me,
make yourself a sanctuary to put my poetry in-
I’m not asking for endless compliments or an ego boost
I’m asking for a safe space in you to love
the poet I hold within
I wrote this poem in March of 2020.
His love is fire
And I keep getting burned by it
and even though his love burns me profoundly
Every time I get too close
I heal and vow to never see him again
But once again, his fire enchants me,
puts a spell on me
And I return to his burning love
Even when I know it means
I’ll get burned once again
Will my addiction to his burning love ever stop?
I wrote this poem in March of 2020.
I don’t want him to be a part of me-
And yet he appears
in my mind, my dreams, my poetry
He doesn’t deserve any amount of space
he comes to occupy in my life
And within me
-and yet he comes and stays
I tell him to go away
Stay away, and forget about me-
But it never happens that way
He consumes every bit of me
and it’s a lost cause to get him out out of me
I wrote this poem in March of 2023.
life is full of making mistakes and then regretting them
It can’t happen any other way
because to be human is to make mistakes
to be human is a series of misadventures
where sometimes we lose our way
I wrote this poem in March of 2023.
How many times have I lied to myself
when I was young in believing some man’s love
would save me, would complete me
when all it ever did was decimate me
over and over again
but I refused to believe love could be anything
but beautiful
Until one day I learned to be honest with myself
and it was a lesson in dialectics
of how love can be both an ugly and beautiful thing
here’s the poem that inspired this poem:
Poetry: Emotions
vivo en la oscilación de mis emociones
entre extremos de altos y bajos
trato de encontrar la equilibración dentro de mi
pero es un unicornio para mi
algo que nunca existirá para mi
Escribà este poema en marzo del 2023.
algunas personas me juzgaran, me llamaran ardida, amargada
porque yo cuento la verdad de mi cuento de drama y trauma
porque ya no me quedo calladita de lo que me inquieta
ya no me trago mi dolor, ya no me hago chiquita para la comodidad
de otras personas
ahora escribo, grito, y canto todo lo que me paso
todo lo que me dolió-porque por mucho tiempo guarde
dentro de mi muchos sentimientos y eso me hirió
ahora tomo espacio y anuncio mi llegada
para que todos sepan que soy una leona cobrando
las deudas de aquellas personan que me traumatizando
here’s the poem that inspired this translation:
Poetry: Lame
SentÃa un mundo de furia e ira dentro de mi por tu ausencia
porque tu nunca fuiste parte de su vida, parte de su historia
pero un dia encontre paz y misericordia hacia ti
entendà porque las cosas pasaron tenÃan que pasar
y solté todo el resentimiento y odio del cual me aferraba
en vez me llene con agradecimiento por tu existencia
que fue una bendición que me enseñó
el sentido del amor incondicional
I wrote this poem in March of 2023. My reference is to Joe Goldberg from the show “YOU” and not Joe Biden( who is in his own right a monster as well.lol)
I sit around in horror-
flagellating myself for comparing myself
to a monster
I know that this was the only way to cope and process
with emotions that threatened to crush me
but if I had to be honest with myself
it makes me question the reality I was living in
and maybe the psychotic who resided inside of me
here’s the english version that inspired this poem:
Poetry: The Difference
las dudas de mi capacidad como madre me llenaba con inseguridad
y me robaba mi sueño
Quizas debi ser mas madura, mas estable, mas exigente
todos tenÃan consejos y comentarios acerca de mà mil y uno errores
porque mis hijos eran como yo
marchando al ritmo de su propio tambor
pero después de 24 años de ser madre
solté las opiniones y juzgamientos de todos
yo se que he sido y sigo siendo una buena
porque aunque mis hijos no fueron criados en mansiones o con lujos
siempre tuvieron lo mejor de mi y eso siempre fue suficiente
Feb 2024
Life on the BPD 