Poetry: Intensity

I search for peace and tranquility but it evades me
sometimes I find it but it quickly dissipates
Feeling so much all of the time gets exasperating
I yearn for a vacation from this intensity
I’m starting to think this is my destiny
To fall in love hard and feel heartbreak even harder
To write a few poems when I’m in love
To write a hundred poems when I face another love failure
maybe it’s best to truly accept me
a girl sometimes full of serenity
a girl always full of intensity

poetry: heaven

I wrote this poem in June of 2024.

vibe: victorian and broody

this modern world got my victorian and pure heart all fucked up
don’t know which way is up
don’t know which way is down
don’t know what is right
don’t know what is wrong
I want someone’s hand to hold but they reach for my breast
I want innocent kisses on the cheek
but they reach for the heaven between my thighs

poetry: whack an asshole

I wrote this poem in June of 2024.

for real

I hope this story is buried for a final time
and you don’t pop up again
and I have to play whack an asshole
once again
blocking you on yet another platform
would the universe be kind enough this time
for it to be good riddance forever
cause I’m tired of my past mistakes
to constantly come out of nowhere
to disturb my present

Recession-Proof: Staying Sharp When the Bottom Drops Out

Image by Freepik

Recession-Proof: Staying Sharp When the Bottom Drops Out by Ian Garza

When the economy tanks, the air changes. People move differently. You feel it in the supermarket aisle, where heads tilt at price tags like they’re trying to solve a riddle in a foreign language. Maybe you’re there, pen hovering over a notebook, drafting your next pitch while wondering if peanut butter can be considered a luxury item now. Recessions have a way of pushing people into the deep end, but oddly, that’s where the best swimmers emerge. The trick is less about bracing for impact and more about learning to glide with the current. Here are seven ways to make the chaos work for you, journal in hand and mind on fire.

Cut Costs, Not Corners
You don’t need to become a coupon-clipping caricature to start slicing your expenses with surgical precision. Start by conducting a cold, heartless audit of your monthly costsβ€”subscriptions, takeout, half-used gym membershipsβ€”and ask yourself which of them you’d defend in a court of law. Reallocate the scraps toward things that either earn money or preserve your sanity. Groceries, for instance, offer massive wiggle room if you’re smart about what hits the cartβ€”save money on groceries by swapping brand loyalty for nutritional label scrutiny. Don’t eat out of boredom or habit, eat with purpose. A recession isn’t a punishment; it’s a new set of rules, and frugality is a game you can win.

Skill Up or Ship Out
Those who thrive during downturns don’t wait for job boards to dictate their worth. If your industry’s shaking like a leaf, shift your gaze toward sectors that don’t flinch when markets doβ€”healthcare, IT, education, logistics. There’s a buffet of free online courses that can turn idle time into economic leverage. Learn Excel if you’re breathing. Pick up copywriting, coding, or UX design between episodes of that comfort show you’ve already seen four times. Skills are portable power, and adding new ones doesn’t just insulate your incomeβ€”it inflates your confidence. The job may not be instant, but the momentum is.

The Side Hustle Shuffle
You don’t need to start a Shopify store selling ornamental cacti to qualify as an entrepreneur, but having a second income stream isn’t a luxury anymoreβ€”it’s a survival tactic. Whether it’s reselling thrifted clothes or offering dog walking in your neighborhood, a side hustle doesn’t have to be revolutionary. It just has to work. Take an honest inventory of what you’re good at and find the angleβ€”start a side hustle that fits into your existing life, not the other way around. It might start small, maybe laughably so, but consistency snowballs. One gig turns into a rhythm, and suddenly, your β€œjust in case” income becomes your β€œthank God I did” lifeline.

Write It Out
There’s something quietly defiant about writing things down when the world feels untethered. Journaling isn’t about profound revelations or poetic flairβ€”it’s about evidence. Document your spending, your mood, your micro-victories. Create a log of sanity that future-you will be grateful for. The benefits of journaling during tough economic spells are both psychological and strategicβ€”it can help you track your patterns, spot opportunities, and process fear without letting it drive. For writers, it’s a gym session. For everyone else, it’s cheap therapy that never talks back.

Invest in a Home Warranty
Nothing torpedoes a fragile budget like a busted HVAC or a rogue refrigerator. When repair costs punch a surprise hole in your wallet, having a home warranty isn’t just smartβ€”it’s protective armor. These plans can cover major systems and appliances, offering a reliable safety net when unexpected breakdowns hit. The key is picking coverage that doesn’t just slap a Band-Aid on the issue. Find one that includes the removal of defective units and protects against breakdowns caused by botched repairs or sloppy installsβ€”this page is a good resource for comparing that kind of nuanced coverage. You’re not betting on things going wrong. You’re admitting they will, and preparing accordingly.

Community Over Chaos
Isolation is expensive, both emotionally and practically. Reaching out to neighbors, local groups, or church networks isn’t just good mannersβ€”it’s fiscal strategy. There’s a staggering array of local community resources offering everything from food distribution to financial counseling, yet many go untapped. It’s not charity. It’s infrastructureβ€”one that exists precisely for this kind of moment. Volunteering also doubles as networking. You help others while subtly reinforcing your own safety net, a win-win most spreadsheets can’t quantify.

Mind Over Money
Financial fear corrodes slowly, eating away at confidence and sleep and even relationships. Address it like you would any other health issueβ€”diagnose, manage, treat. Don’t ignore your stress or trivialize it. And don’t obsessively refresh stock tickers or headline feeds. Use breathing techniques, therapy apps, and if needed, professional help. Learn how to manage financial stress in a way that doesn’t involve locking yourself in a doomscroll loop until 2 a.m. The money part is real. The mental toll is realer. You need both ends intact if you’re going to make it through with anything resembling grace.

There’s no single blueprint for surviving a recession because recessions don’t care about blueprints. They bulldoze predictability and force reinvention. But they also burn away distractions and push people toward clarity. Whether you’re writing it out, hustling at night, or just trying to keep your fridge running without inviting financial ruin, the throughline remains the same: adapt with intention. You don’t have to thrive every day. You just need to keep movingβ€”and that, on the worst days, is a kind of success all its own.

Discover the transformative power of poetry and personal storytelling at Life on the BPD, where creativity blooms and every verse is a step towards healing and empowerment.

poetry: jon benet lookalike

I wrote this poem in June of 2024. It was inspired by the disappearance of little Latina girl in my area that I didn’t feel was getting enough media attention.

it’s how this story made me feel

I pray for the little brown girl lost in Gainesville
the one that’s my son’s age
the one that looks like my sister at that age
the one who has my mami’s name
I pray she’s found alive
I pray that she finds warmth in her parents
arms soon
I pray more of a big deal is made out of
her disappearance
and she’s found quickly
because I’m sure that if this little girl
had been a jonbenet look alike
more would have been done to find her
and bring her back to her family
her community
that’s been missing her greatly

poetry: glass of champagne

I wrote this poem in May of 2024.

a toast to this woman

a glass of champagne in my hand as I raise a toast
who I used to be
a woman mentally ill and needy
a woman who gave men easy access to her hips
a woman who thought intimacy could only be created
and felt in between her sheets
we say goodbye to the his woman lovingly
as we usher a new era of me
a woman who knows her worth
and won’t settle of anything less
than she deserves

poesΓ­a: maldita

escribi este poema en mayo del 2024.

siempre Diosa, siempre maldita

soy la poeta maldita del siglo 21
atormentada, depresiva, dramatica,
salvaje, sin vergΓΌenza, obsesionada
con la muerte
y las poetas malditas de siglos
antepasados
soy la peor pesadilla de esta sociedad
machista
me vestirΓ© con un aire rosado y dulce
pero de mi boca saldrΓ‘ una energΓ­a
feminista y salvaje
y me valdrΓ‘ madre incomodar a la gente
y no me importara del “que dirΓ‘n”
y por eso me consideran
una arma maldita y peligrosa
en la sociedad

poetry: rebranding

I wrote this poem in May of 2024.

soft girl energy

I look forward to the day when I’m no longer known as the writer with BPD
when I no longer make my mental illness a part of my brand
when I’m no longer dependent on my ex husband
and antipsychotics to survive
when I finally start to resemble something like a normal person
and not the vehement emotional mess I usually am

poetry: four letter word

I wrote this poem in May of 2024.

imagine fumbling all of this

you could have been my forever muse, my forever thot
But like the others before you
you don’t know what to do with a woman like me
maybe my ingenuity is to blame for this
wanting to live in a delusional daydream of love
instead of grounding myself in reality
and radically accepting love is just a four letter word
in my vocabulary that wrecks and ruins my sanity

poetry: buspar

I wrote this poem in May of 2024.

image of me when I tried to quit Buspar

I wanted to kill my sex drive so I stopped taking buspar
and while my sex drive has finally waned
the side effects are slowly killing me
between the mental fog, the constant headaches,
the nausea followed by the loss of appetite
there’s a reason they tell you to wean slowly
from psychiatric drugs, to do it under the care
of a medical provider
stopping cold turkey lends to a spiral of madness
and a physical ailment I never intended

Poetry: Picture

I painted myself as pretty picture

And neatly put my myself

in a pretty little box

                        that he could take out

                and open at his convenience 

I painted myself as a pretty picture

and left out my ugly and temperamental nature

because I didn’t want him to leave

I painted myself as a pretty picture

for him to admire and love as it pleased him

and I ended up leaving out the real me

poetry: for once

I wrote this poem in May of 2024.

this poem is about me and only me

for once I want to be missed, for once I want to be remembered
for once I want to feel valuable and worth effort
but it’s a fantasy I need to let go of
it’s a dream that will never come true
it’s time to grow up and plant my feet firmly on the ground
acknowledge my worth and hold onto my pride and dignity
and stop chasing delusions and daydreams
aside for all of the inspiration
it’s never gotten me anywhere

poetry: three years ago

I wrote this poem in May of 2024.

thinking about the chaotic move of May of 2021

three years ago, I was dealing with the most chaotic move of my life
never thought my new home would see the death of me
the princess who moved in
and the resurrection of the queen I was about to become

Poetry: No Expectations

But I lost it like a promise- Conan Gray

I told myself β€œno expectations”

β€œJust use him for a short time”

That’s all he’ll be good for

But his words, his gaze

His hands, his lips

Felt like home the first night

This can’t be happening

This can’t be real 

This isn’t who I want to be with

But my heart wouldn’t listen

To the logic in my head, 

The advice from my friends

I had the first hit and I needed to go back-

I feel like a pathetic drug addict-

I told myself β€œno expectations”

And yet a year later-

Here we still are in our 

Intense and passionate love affair