I wrote this poem in September of 2025.
last time I saw her, she was on her 5th husband
she didn’t know how to be alone, stand up on her own
always needed a man by her side
and even as she aged and her looks waned
she had her aryan blonde blue eyed looks to get her by
it was a crystalized existence
something about her frozen in time
someone had never taught her that alone
she was enough
The experiment of life leaves me breathless with rage
Why keep trying love on over and over again
when it continually abandons me
It’s like a balloon
I’m filled up with joy and happiness
and then there’s life’s pin of reality
makes my balloon burst
and I’m reduced to nothingness until I find rage
to fuel me to move forward
it’s exhausting, it’s madness
I wrote this poem in November of 2022.
my craving for love has brought me to celestial heights of heaven
and the rock bottom of hell
at 40,I finally learned I suffered from the worst affliction
–a love addiction–
and time after time it tore me down
something had to change, something had to give
or else I’d end up jumping off a cliff
so I gave up love for a while
Until I could understand why it made me crazy
Until I knew how to not make myself a victim
in every single one of my love stories
