I wrote this poem in October of 2022.
Maybe it’s lack of sex or lack of sleep but I must declare-
Christopher Columbus is a piece of shit
Maybe it’s my own insecurities or maybe it’s a projection
but I must say you can get away with murder
if you’re a white male
Maybe it’s the BPD and the depression
But I must scream FUCK WHITE SUPREMACY
here’s the english version of this poem:
Poetry: Sadness
el monstruo de la oscuridad me persigue y me caza
no hay salida y me encuentro en una jaula
con la voz de mi crítica interna
que me repite “no vales la pena, no vales la PENA,
NO VALES LA PENA”
Y trato de razonar con la voz
pero no me escucha y me siento esclavizada
por ella sin saber lo que me espera
I wrote this poem in October of 2022.
Eliza, eliza, eliza
what have you done?
Entering a beauty content you have no business entering
While you’re beautiful ,confident and powerful-
Beauty contests aren’t for you when european beauty standards
rule society
it’s not that you’re less than them
It’s just that your type of beauty is only meant to be fetishized
to be fantasized about
your beauty is a temporary place for men
your beauty can’t keep a man, only excite men
So while I’ll share the link
and every now and then remind people to vote for you
Remember your worth is not wrapped up in your beauty
Because you’re more than your good looks
You’re everything
Kind, loyal, intelligent, witty, sexy, everything a man can dream of
A woman a man can really love and be loyal to
You just haven’t met him yet
Trust is the process-trust in God’s divine timing
here is the English version of this poem:
Poetry: It Hurts
quisiera matar las mariposas que siento dentro de mi
porque los cuentos de amor siempre acaban en tragedia para mi-
pero ya es demasiado tarde
no puedo dejar en pensar en ti
no puedo parar lo que siento por ti
I wrote this poem in October of 2022.
I don’t want to work that extra shift but my discover statement
tells me otherwise-
it tells me that once again I’m falling into a world of debt-
for daring to live a life above my means, above my class
and if I’m not careful I can slip back into poverty status
so I’ll work that extra shift and stop trying to live
a higher class life that’s not meant for me yet-
here is the English version of this poem:
Poetry: Wishful Thinking
esta vez, me sorprende que me sacaron los cuernos-
el era tan bueno, tan amable
me decía “te quiero” religiosamente
pero las apariencias engañan
y ahora me toca vengarme
I wrote this poem in October 2022.
Maybe I need a new love story-even if it’s temporary
so I can find relief and some peace from this loneliness
That’s making me into an insane mess
Maybe losing myself in someone else
Will stop making me feel less-
or perhaps what’s really happening
It’s me allowing my depression talk me into finding a solution-
for my neverending frustration with healing and growth
and always having to look within for what I need
But perhaps if I had somebody maybe for once, I could just be
here is the English version of this poem:
Poetry: Sponge
trato y trato aceptar esta última tragedia
entender que fue algo necesario para mi crecimiento y progreso
entender que será algo que el futuro no tendrá tanta importancia
pero por ahora soy una bola de odio y furia
lista para gritar todo sobre la traición que he sufrido
I wrote this poem in October of 2022 with the help of Quora.
what do most people not understand about borderline personality disorder?
what are borderline psychopaths?
can you trust someone with borderline personality disorder?
can someone who has bpd have empathy and feel bad for what they have done?
does a borderline individual ever had a hard time getting over someone or
can they easily forget?
what is borderline personality rage?
what hurts a person with BPD?
why is borderline personality so contradictory?
do people with BPD act normal to everyone except the person they’re splitting on?
are people with BPD childlike ?
can unconditional love treat borderline disorder?
does a person with bpd make their partners go crazy?
how do borderlines show they love you?
do borderlines ever find happiness, hope or a genuine connection?
what does a bpd episode look like?
should someone with BPD ever disclose that to a potential mate?
when do relationships with PwBpd start to fall apart?
are borderline psychotic?
can borderline disorder be cured?
here’s the english version of this poem:
Poetry: When Something Bad Happens
hay veces que el universo o Dios no tienen razones
por las cosas malas que nos pasan en la vida
hay veces que es necesario de desahogarse
en un ataque de ira o furia cuando una tragedia pasa
no nos hace malos o inmaduros, no hace humanos
Aqui esta la version en espanol:
Poesia: El Pasado
a tsunami of trauma washes over me and I regress to being 16-
as I walk on the beach where I first fell in love
as I stand on the bridge where I lost my shit and almost jumped off-
regret and guilt sit at the bottom of my stomach
and I want to vomit
Instead, I pause and count to ten and breathe
and I’m transported back to my present
I’m safe again in my body-
as I come to accept and love
the immature and impulsive girl I once was
who carelessly gave herself to others
who never thought about the consequences
and took risks
she wasn’t the atrocity I made her out to be-
she was just in a rush to live her life
I wrote this poem in September of 2022.
To my sons, when I leave the earth
Remember I am with you always
I am in my oldest son’s resilience
I am in my middle son’s dark humor
I am in my youngest son’s bright energy
I exist in your laughter, in your cries,
in your failures, in your wins
I am and always will be with you
Here’s the English Version of this poem:
Poetry: Home
llegó al sitio de mi juventud y recorro en mi mente todo lo sucedido
días de mi felicidad, días de mi amargura
y todo me aloca al llenarme sentimientos encontrados
que se habían perdido en la esquina oscura de mi mente
pero poco a poco regreso a mi presente
y se que ya no soy la niña ingenua e engreída de ayer
ahora soy una mujer hecha y derecha
lista para enfrentar mi pasado lleno de heridas emocionales
que todavia sangran
lista para sanar todo lo que ignore alguna vez
es una necesidad para seguir adelante con mi vida
sin que los fantasmas de mi pasado mi sigan persiguiendo
y haciendo un desmadre de mi presente y futuro
I wrote this poem in September of 2022.
The transformation is complete
from caterpillar and butterfly
It was full of painful epiphanies that brought an epic catharsis
It was life changing and transcendental
Facing my fears, driving out the toxicity within
Acknowledging brutal truths, letting go of regrets
and embracing my divine duality
I’ve finally become the butterfly I was always meant to be
who flies and lands on her own terms
Here’s the English Version of this poem:
Poetry: Remembrance
cierro los ojos y un maremoto de nostalgia viene hacia mi
y corro y corro y corro pero me alcanza que me ahogo
y parte de mi quisiera regresar a mi pasado contigo cuando era feliz
y casi, casi te mando un mensaje preguntándote
Como estas? Si todavía sigues con ella? Si, por fin encontraste la felicidad que tanto anhelabas?
pero, mi abuela interviene y me sacude, abro mis ojos y regreso a mi presente
y encuentro mi razón y susurro al universo que te deseo lo mejor
pero acepto que lo nuestro cuento de amor es algo definitivamente acabado
como los cuentos de hadas que papi me contaba cuando era niña
Life on the BPD 