Poetry: The Difference

I wrote this in 2006 after I was reflecting my first years of being a mother to my eldest child who I had at 17. Becoming a mother at such a young age didn’t make me the best parent and at times I still tried to act my age and party a lot even though I was a parent. It used to eat me up inside but I’ve come to terms that I did the best I could under the circumstances.

me and my oldest in 1999 when I was 18

Late nights at the club

Drunk and dancing-you

Singing lullabies

Until he fell asleep-I

Getting ass from 

an unknown stranger-you

Looking for monsters under the bed

and wishing them away-I

Waking up in an unknown place

With a helluva hangover-you

Waking up from little hands 

Shaking my shoulders-I

You and I=me

Me =two different truths

About the way your childhood

 Was seen

PoesΓ­a: EstΓ‘s Despedido

Here is the English version of this poem :

https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/11/16/poetry-youre-fired-trigger-warning/

AprendΓ­ a estar sola

Corazon, amorcito
Te tengo que decir
ya no te amo
la mariposas que sentΓ­a
Se han ido a la tierra del olvido
no hay otra persona
es que nuestra conexiΓ³n especial
se ha roto
cuando me besas, siento nada
Disculpame, pero esta despedido

Poetry: Racy Lacie

I wrote this is 2006 for my creative writing class.

me in 2006 around the time I wrote this poem

Dressed up in lace
She gets into his car
He drives away in haste.

She’ll never go far
On this path to nowhere
Her life becomes tar.

Doesn’t seem to care
That she is treated so rough
With a life so unfair

Is she a black dove?
Or just a drug addict?
Did she ever know love?

What made her so damn sick?
Why don’t I understand?
What made her so chaotic

Man after man
All for another fix
From the candy man.

PoesΓ­a: Imbecil Racista

For the English version of this poem, click on the link below:

https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/10/20/poem-racist-jerk/

AsΓ­ es cuando las mΓ‘scaras se caen

Querido, lo que dijiste
me partiΓ³ el alma
nunca pensΓ© que eras un racista
no se si te pueda perdonar
quedarme contigo matarΓ­a mi alma
Lamento haberte conocido
Y me duele decirte
Tenemos que terminar
Nuestro cuento de amor
Te deseo lo mejor
OjalΓ‘ que algΓΊn dΓ­a
Dejas tus prejuicios atrΓ‘s

Poetry: The Light

I wrote this in 2006 about my husband, then boyfriend. I tend to put a lot of my worth in the person I’m romantically involved with. This is another BPD trait.

me in 2006 with my middle child

Rising from darkness I struggle to find 

       the light in the oblivion

 that has become my life. 

The light is bright with love without conditions . 

The light tells me I’m good enough. 

The light is you. 

PoesΓ­a: Traicionada

For the English version of this poem, click on the link below.

https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/11/20/betrayed/

la traiciΓ³n duele

Convertiste el amor bonito que tenΓ­amos
en una pesadilla de traiciones y mentiras
Estabas enamorado de ella
todo el tiempo que estuvimos juntos
y ahora me voy para siempre
porque merezco mejor
que gastar mi energΓ­a en un traidor

Poetry: Dying Innocence

I wrote this is 2006 in for my creative writing class. I wrote thinking about my sexuality when I was a teenager. I was hypersexual from a young age.

me in 2006-around the time I wrote this poem

She was an adult like sixteen years old
Hormones racing like the speed of light
These were bitter enemies of the cold
Powerful sensations she had to fight
Had the body of a mature woman
But the maturity of one she lacked
But still she chose a stranger man
He told her quickly β€œLie on your back.”
She was swiftly incapacitated
Gone forever, her norms and behavior
As her callow body palpitated
With her lengthy new found pleasure
And this was the unforeseen joyous end
Of her already dying innocence

Poetry: My Happy Place

I wrote this poem in 2006 when I was in the midst of my quarter life crisis.

There was once a place

It was my happy place

But it forever disappeared 

When puberty appeared 

Now I live somewhere else

Where almost everything fails

Where there are no more giggles

And everyone is fickle

Where being sad

Is the fad 

And no one cares

About anyone else

What I would give 

To get away from this 

And go back to 

Where no one is rude

And everyone smiles

And no one is a liar 

PoesΓ­a: Primera Cita

For the English version of this poem, click on the link below:

https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/11/04/poetry-first-date/

siempre el sitio al cual quiero volver

En nuestra primera cita
fuimos a las pelΓ­culas,
a comer, y caminamos bajo la luna
hablamos acerca de varias cosas
Mencionaste a alguien en Miami
pero sentimos una quΓ­mica intensa
fue algo irresistible
De alli nos besamos
A lo mejor eras algo prohibido para mi
pero prendiste un fuego dentro de mi
perdΓ­ mis valores y morales
y me somete al deseo inmenso
que sentia por ti

2000

Poetry: The Full Moon

I wrote this poem in 2006 in college. I’ve always been kind of introspective when it comes to the possibilities of life.

The beautiful full moon

The full moon strikes full of unseen possibilities

Possibilities that dwindle as life goes 

Through the process of aging or does it?

Perhaps we are the ones who put limits 

To our potential to be anything or do anything

Perhaps it really is true that we are the writers of our own destiny

PoesΓ­a: Siempre Una Novedad

For the English version of this poem, click on the link below:

https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/10/30/poetry-passing-fad/

EscribΓ­ este poema en en 2000 cuando tuve un evento infortunado incident con un alguien que estaba saliendo.

TodavΓ­a me acuerdo de tus palabras hirientes
DespuΓ©s de acostarte conmigo
β€œmejor quedamos como amigos”
mi mundo se destruyΓ³ en minutos
casi me ahogo en un mar de mis lΓ‘grimas
nunca quisistes conocerme de verdad
la unico que querias era el ardor de mi cuerpo
y me quede con una tristeza profunda
que de nuevo era nada mΓ‘s que una novedad