Here is the English Version that inspired this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/12/20/poetry-not-that-woman/
Sola, ella realiza su potencial
Sola, ella conoce su poder
Sola, ella entiende que siempre fue suficiente
y después de tantas desilusiones amorosas
ella está agotada y prefiere su soledad
que le da libertad y paz
I wrote this poem in February of 2022.
I’m 18 and walking across the football stadium to receive my diploma
the one I almost didn’t get, my parents and I breathe a sigh of relief
I’m 24 and I hold my baby boy in my arms, it’s love at first sight
he’s the best birthday present and I’m humbled
I’m 28 and I’m graduating from college,it’s been a an arduous journey to get here
but I make it and my dad cries and tells me how proud he is of me
I’m 30 and holding my third baby boy, he’s my rainbow after the worst storm
everyone in my family holds him and there is an overflow of love
I’m 36 and my oldest son is walking across the gymnasion to receive his diploma
I cry with elation and pride, my heart is filled with pride and joy for him
Here is the English Version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/12/23/hey-mister-%f0%9f%91%8b/
me estoy hundiendo en tu magia
es porque eres algo prohibido para mi
es porque eres malo para mi
Siempre me enamoro de lo que será
mi perdición y mi autodestrucción
I wrote this poem in February of 2022.
I forgive myself at 15 for crying over an idiot
who was never worth my time and energy
but he did spark my poetic voice
I forgive myself at 20 for writing more than 50 poems
about a 6 week relationship in 2001
but it did make for some hilarious blog content in 2021
I forgive myself at 25 for not fighting harder for my dreams
and for swallowing my anger and angst for the comfort of others
but that year I became a playwright
I forgive myself at 30 for drowning the writer in me
as I lost myself in my roles as wife and mother
but that year I launched my blog
I forgive myself at 35 for swallowing a bottle of xanax
because I felt like a failure as wife, mother, and worker
but the dark poetry from that time is some of my best
I forgive myself at 40 for wanting to die for two weeks in July
after being discarded by the “supposed” love of my life
but that summer I found the confidence to call myself a writer
Aqui esta la version en Espanol:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2022/01/06/cada-dia/
My heart sings when you’re near me,
people tell me its infatuation
that I fall too fast for the wrong men
but they’re wrong, so wrong
What I feel is love
Here is the English version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/12/26/poetry-why-dont-you/
porque no te armas de valor y le dices la verdad
en vez de correr de tus sentimientos con infidelidad y borracheras
estas haciendo dano a ti y a ella
pronto tu conciencia te devorara
no te estoy juzgando, estoy preocupado por ti
la gente está empezando con sus chismes
hasta piensan que soy la causa de ti infidelidad
y mientras me río de sus chismes
nuestra colega me contó la verdad
que ella es cómplice en tu infidelidad
y la mirada en su cara me dijo todo
ella está desesperadamente enamorada
esto es un juego de amor peligroso que estás jugando
donde tres personas se van a quemar
Escribi este poema en enero del 2022.
Iba en la maletera del carro
llena de las mentiras de mis padres
que toda estaría bien
y nos íbamos hacia la alegría
a un lugar misterioso y mágico
Iba en la maletera del carro
asustada y llorando lágrimas
mientras mi mami me abrazaba
me decía”cállate, pronto llegaremos a
nuestro destino”
Iba en la maletera del carro
y casi me sentía sofocada
pero mi mami me susurraba
“duérmete, casi llegamos”
Iba en la maletera del carro
y cuando salimos
el sol no sonrió
y fue el primer dia
en nuestra nueva patria
Here is the English Version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/12/23/poetry-infatuation/
las mariposas que siento por ti
se convierten en poemas de amor
aunque nuestro amor nunca pueda ser
y tú perteneces a otra
tengo que reconocer
que eres el nuevo objeto de mi inspiración
que se está volviendo en una obsesión
I wrote this in January of 2022.
one day the karens will rise up and protest on the streets
with their short blond hair auspiciously blowing in the wind
and their know it all smirks, armed with latest iphones
in their gucci bags with signs that say, live, laugh and love
or I want to speak to the manager
they’ll stomp in their $100 uggs with a purpose
to be seen and heard
with a purpose to complain about everything
wrong in their world
with a purpose to take their name back
one will get on the megaphone and talk about the oppression
they face because of their name or the pale color of their skin
or their higher social status
and people-well they’ll laugh at them,
they’ll love the absurdity of their message
and live for this-the least empowering moment in history
Aqui esta la version en Espanol:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/12/17/poesia-inquieta/
I am restless and unsettled
realizing you never loved me
I was just another girl to you
nothing special, nothing meaningful
just someone temporary to pass the time with
I’m growing tired of this repetitive story
Another love that expires when I ask
for something more
Another story that starts off with so much promise
only to end up as another tragedy
I wrote this in January of 2022.
I’m done apologizing for being too much or not enough
I’ve always been enough
I’m done apologizing for being crazy
I’m God’s creation of a perfect imperfection
I’m done apologizing for being too bland or too spicy
I’m a perfect blend of whatever I want to be
I’m done apologizing for being me!
Here is the English version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/12/02/poetry-man-of-my-destiny/
Por fin conocí al hombre hecho para mi
pero es un catastrophe, el casado
ser su amante sería un pecado
pero me pregunto y pregunto
si el me desea
si el sueña conmigo
si el anhela un beso mió
I wrote this in January of 2022.
Writing is my lifeline
with it, I’m almost fine
without it I’m almost lost
and my mind pays the cost
Writing is my lifeline
Especially since I’m borderline
It’s brings my truth to the forefront
It’s almost my antidepressant
Writing is my lifeline
It’s part of my life’s design
I accept it as my passion
and also my ammunition
Here is the English Version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/12/20/inner-wealth/
siempre valía mucho más de lo que pensaba
pero no sabía valorarme, no sabía amarme
estaba desesperada por el amor de mis amantes
y les deje que me trataran como una muñeca de trapo
Pensaba que no era suficiente
conformandome con lo peor
No entendía que lo que necesitaba
era un amor propio para sentirme completa y amada
I wrote this in January of 2022. I was angry.
Fighting for my cause
I question everything I learned
I take time to pause
my childhood lies burn
and make feel lost
Fighting for my family
I get so fucking angry
Why are people so shitty?
insulting my ancestry-
projecting their insecurities onto me-
Wait, are they jealous of me?
Fighting for my life
I pause of a while
thinking about all of my strife
and the past I need to reconcile
to move forward with my life
but this fight is worthwhile
Life on the BPD 