here’s the english version of this poem:
Poetry: I Think
Pienso que es mejor morir que vivir en esta pesadilla
es mejor escapar un destino lleno de incertidumbre y dolor
porque el amor de tu vida no esta seguro si te ama
here’s the english version of this poem:
Poetry: I Think
Pienso que es mejor morir que vivir en esta pesadilla
es mejor escapar un destino lleno de incertidumbre y dolor
porque el amor de tu vida no esta seguro si te ama
here’s the English version of this poem:
Poem: The Cold Shoulder
estancados en un purgatorio-no sabemos cΓ³mo continuar
entonces nos mentimos que todavΓa nos amamos
cuando ni siquiera nos aguantamos
me dices que estoy loca por admitir la verdad
pero me harte y prefiero parar de desperdiciar mi tiempo
en algo que me estΓ‘ sofocando y robando mi paz
I wrote this poem in December of 2022.

In my car-I scream, sing, write, and cry
I dissociate to my radio-blasting out Conan Gray
I can be as crazy I as want to be-
without the fear of being judged or talked about
the seat is molded to my petite frame
perfect for meditation
or for allowing myself to fall into my insanity
makes videos about how beautiful life is-
or how I no longer want to participate in it
my car used to feed into my deepest fears
and insecurities
but now I worship it
if it wasnβt for this sacred space away
from my office and home
I donβt know how I would cope
when the intensity of my thoughts
knock on my mindβs door
Aqui esta la version en espanol:
Poesia: Callar
our love dream has turned into a nightmare of stagnancy and routine
I walk carefully on eggshells to not disturb your peace so you donβt leave-
Is this how love is supposed to be?
More questions than answers, more confusion than clarity
More tears than laughter-
I want to stay for the sake of our family
but Iβm starting to burn with resentment and anger

maybe my traumatic birth set the tone for the many rebirths Iβd have
Iβm the cat with more than nine lives
Iβm the phoenix who always rises from the ashes
Iβve been through so many rebirths and transformations
Itβs almost comical or maybe itβs brave instead
because Iβve always been able to get back up
no matter how catastrophic the fall has been
8/22/22
I wrote this poem in December of 2022.

fragments of who I was weave in and out of my prose and poetry-
I keep trying to honor the old me
when she comes back with my insecurities
and reminds me of how I constantly screw up anything
resembling love
I no longer shame her or call her the worst version of me-
she was just trying to navigate life not understanding
she was an undiagnosed hurricane of emotions-
that couldnβt control or manage
She didnβt go to therapy or know about DBT
And sheβs still full of grief for the life she couldnβt live-
so she keeps on showing up trying to shake up
my newfound confidence and power
itβs her version of jealousy, and I walk with her for a while
Console her, and let her know how because of her
I did the work, and now she can feel happiness and joy through me
I will forever be grateful to her and pay tribute to her when I tell her story
here’s the english version of this poem:
Poetry: Refusal
quizΓ‘s me precipite en tratar de terminar nuestro cuento de amor
es que no se que pensar o hacer cuando te alejas de mi
cuando me haces sentir como una caprichosa por querer mas tiempo contigo
por querer tener un poco de tu afecciΓ³n
como podemos reparar las palabras hirientes que te tire
porque ahora nos une el niΓ±o en mi vientre
y no quiero que Γ©l sea el producto de un hogar roto
porque nosotros no sabemos cΓ³mo comprendernos
I wrote this poem in December of 2022.

my transformation and rebirth meant giving voice to my shadow
whoβs vindictive, petty, and mean
Iβve never really allowed her to breathe
much less be seen
and now sheβs almost everywhere-
taking space in uncomfortable spaces
learning sheβs not bad-
she just needed attention and to feel valued
Iβve finally accepted sheβs an important part of me
who needs to be seen

As I sit here squished in my writing space because the damn Christmas tree is taking up the other side of the room, I still feel incredibly blessed and fortunate that Iβm writing this post about how the 11th year of blogging was. To still be here telling my story though this platform with the most incredible followers is a true blessing. To the many people who have been supportive of me as I vomit out some of the cringiest and craziest shit, yβall are the real MVPs. I feel so encouraged and loved by every like or comment. I would say that it was a low key year because I didnβt experiment as much as I wanted to. What I did do is tell my story from January of 2022 through December of 2022 with my poetry along with my translated poems from my early writing days. Iβve translated a total of 215 pages of poetry from 1997 to 2004. Itβs been a challenge for sure but it was important for me to take on this project because it allows me to reconnect with my first language in a creative way. Also, my main purpose for taking on this project is because I’d love for my parents and other Spanish speaking relatives in Peru to be able to read my poetry. Iβd even started putting some of these poems on tik tok which has been somewhat of an interesting experiment considering I donβt know what Iβm doing and still figuring out the best way to create content there. I guess one could say that I’m passionate about telling my story. Hereβs my tiktok handle if yβall want to check it out: https://www.tiktok.com/@lagringachola81
Another new thing I did this year is start using my real name on this blog and across all of my social media. After my divorce, aka, my liberation day, I was finally able to let go of my pseudonym Eliza Dalton and use my real name Patty Tacuri. So, hi everyone, my name is Patty and I have issues. I love to use that opening line at open mic. Lol.

Iβve also been going to open mic at my local pub and itβs helped me connect with other poets which has helped me grow as a writer and poet. Being up there on that stage sharing the most vulnerable parts of myself has felt incredibly empowering and healing. Iβm grateful to the Athens Word of Mouth community whoβs been so open and receptive to whatever trauma laden or angry poem I decide to read that night.

As to what kind of blog content I have planned for 2024, I plan to leave the format as it is in telling my story of 2023 and including the translated pieces in between those poems. I hope that I can do more collaborations and review some more poetry books. I donβt have much more planned than that but who knows, sometimes my crazy mind comes up with the most off the wall ideas and an unexpected playlist or an essay about some kind of trauma happens. I know that in 2024, I want to be more open and vulnerable in telling my story and how my recovery journey has been going. Weβll see what happens. I can tell you that this blog is my happy place and something that keeps me going when my depression wants to get the better of me. Planning blog content this year has kept me grounded more times than I can count this year especially with some of the big emotions that have come up with the major life events Iβve had. Itβs become part of my recovery process from mental illness and a safe space for me to be honest and vulnerable. Also, since Iβm such a main character now, haha, I decided to give y’all a preview about whatβs to come next year in telling my story. Iβm calling it the twelve days of Patty starting on December 20th. Again, I want to thank everyone who takes the time to read my crazy and sometimes cringe poetry. To my fellow bloggers, poets,and storytellers-my message for you is to keep going! Your art and stories are important!
aqui esta la version en espanol:
Poesia: Vete de Aqui
Weβve lost our beginnerβs luck and now see who we really are
two incompatible souls too stubborn to be alone
and let go of our made up illusion of love
and between our uncomfortable silences,
your distant demeanor, and my growing resentment
itβs better to close our chapter of love
before I start to really hate you
letβs end this while we can still walk away as friends
I wrote this poem in December of 2022.

Iβm tired of same repetitive compliments
Youβre so pretty, so sexy and if theyβre really βtryingβ
youβre BEAUTIFUL
but never in my life
have i been call a masterpiece, intelligent,
or have I been told that I inspire poetry?
and old lonely me would entertain
these flimsy lust or love possibilities
kept my standards low to keep my bed warm
and to escape my chronic emptiness
but after almost a year of solitude
my standards have been raised to the ceiling
and now Iβm protective of my energy
anyone who wants to get near me
will have to make a solid effort
write me poetry, take me out to steak dinners
and buy me pretty dresses and notebooks
here’s the English version of this poem:
Poetry: Uncaring
prefiero un adiΓ³s honesto y con dignidad
que la farsa que estamos viviendo
prefiero terminar este cuento de dolor
donde tΓΊ finges ser mi principe azul
y yo finjo ser la princesa que tu tienes que salvar
lo ΓΊnico que estamos haciendo es evitar lo inevitable
admitir que lo de nosotros no va a ningun lado
Admitir nuestra incompatibilidad
y convertir nuestro cuento de amor
en un cuento de amistad
I wrote this poem in December of 2022.

It wasnβt that I wouldnβt have done the work-
I loved you more than enough to change, to accommodate
to make compromises, to share my vulnerability with you
but you werenβt ready to match my efforts
and love only grows when two people are ready to evolve
aqui esta la version de este poema en espanol:
Poesia: Cansada
youβre running out of time to give me a place in your life-
and Iβm running out of patience and love to keep waiting
Were your promises lies to keep me by your side?
were your words falsehoods to keep your place as my savior,
my hero who loves to save me from myself?
a hero whoβs really a coward- too scared to make a commitment
as my permanent lover
I wrote this poem in December of 2022.

I bet now months go by and he never thinks of me-
maybe he does when he sees a crazy bitch on his feed
heβll remember me for a moment
and think βdamn, I dodged a bulletβ
and then heβll scroll on to something else
thatβs way more interesting