poetry: distraction

Aqui esta la version en espanol:

Poesia: Adios

I keep my screams and cries inside for the sake of my pride
I’ll pretend I’m happy and fine
even as waves of infinite grief wash over me
and I’m drenched in humiliation and shame
for allowing myself to become the pawn in a game
played by another guy who’s only looking for a temporary distraction

Poetry: Favorite Words

I wrote this poem in July of 2022.

two of my favorite words

My favorite words are my sons names
names that taught me about patience
and unconditional love
names that have made me get up
when I didn’t want to
names that fill me with faith and hope
when I’m about to lose it
names that make me want to become
a better person than I was yesterday
names I live for
names I would die for

Poetry: Temporary Destination

Aqui esta la version en Espanol:

Poesia: Algo Pasajero

I’m more than a temporary destination for men to lay their love in
I will no longer lay down and play princess
and adjust and accommodate to their egos and needs
when they can never make me a priority
when they can never acknowledge my humanity
from now I won’t allow anyone near me
unless they show themselves worthy of my time and energy

Poetry: Lesson

I wrote this poem in July of 2022.

love is in nature

I used to have a tunnel vision of love
thought it could only be felt with someone
but I was wrong
love is in the trees
love is in the ocean
love is in the earth
and love is in myself
my higher power taught me this
and it’s a lesson I’ll forever cherish

poetry:magic

Aqui esta la version en español:

Poesia: Podría Ser

I’m not the woman of your dreams or the woman you’ll worship as a deity
or the woman who accommodates and bends according to your needs
but I’m the woman who’ll haunt you with the “what ifs”,
I’m the woman who’ll fuel your creativity,
I’m the woman who’ll make you believe magics exists

Poetry: Excitement

I wrote this poem in July of 2022.

I’m full of Excitement

I give my pain and sorrow to God
and it lessens the heaviness in my soul
and I’ve never felt lighter
and I laugh more and feel content and gratitude
and I no longer want to die
Instead I’m excited to live
I’m excited about my wrinkles and every birthday
because I’m finally enjoying the gift of life
God has bestowed on me

poesía: no debí

here is a link to the English version of this poem:

Poetry: Dead to ME

no debí creer en tus promesas
pero quería darte una una oportunidad nueva
para cambiar tu cuento de cobarde al héroe
pero de nuevo me decepcionaste
esto me pasó por ser una terca, una romántica
y pensar que las personas pueden cambiar

Poetry: Mami’s Love

I wrote this poem in July of 2022.

me and my mami

even in our middle age, our mami still tends to us
calling us, asking about our eating habits and love life
giving bits of wisdom and encouragement
still worrying about us
she doesn’t have to
but it’s her nature to do so
it’s a habit of almost half a century that’s hard to break
it’s a tradition of an unconditional mother’s love

Poetry: Insecure

Aqui esta la version en español :

Poesia: Demaciado Sencilla

you told me I’m not wife material
so you dropped me like I was nothing
but not before you took me to your bed a few times
but not before filling my head with the illusion
that you wanted a future with me-
Are you sick in the head?
Is this how you always operate?
Finding an insecure girl to get your primal needs met
and later on dropping them like a bad habit

Poetry: The Real ME

I wrote this poem in July of 2022.

the real me…

The emotional scars are starting to fade
As I’m starting a new phase
A phase full of love and laughter
A phase full of introspection and humility
and while I’m alone as I start this phase
I’m happier and healthier
I’ve taken off all of my masks
I’ve discarded my need to be loved and accepted
This is my era
One where I finally allow myself
To let others see the real me

Poetry: Rewriting my story

I wrote this poem in July of 2022.

I was trapped in a mental cage of misery
I didn’t know how to rewrite my story
and while poetry helped me
it was with grief and therapy I finally felt free
I learned to let go of old resentments and grudges
and healed old emotional bruises
and while I still have minor annoyances
my anger and angst no longer control me

poesia: tu carta de despedida

Here’s the English version of this poem:

Poetry: Gone

me desperte y encontre tu carta de despedida
me dijiste que tenias de dejarme,
ya no podías fingir que me amabas
Y que no eras el hombre que yo merecía
y era mejor decir adios que continuar tu farsa de amor
Y inmediatamente queme la nota
mientras maldecía nuestras existencias
llorando y ardiendo de rabia
porque denuevo me había metido con otro cobarde
que no pudo enfrentarme para despedirme de su vida

Poetry: Disintegration

I wrote this poem in July of 2022.

yes I’m a hardcore band…who plays Joji on repeat

My disintegration looks like a tsunami that destroys me
I try to navigate the tidal waves of my emotions
and that tidal waves washes over me, and I’m overwhelmed
and my logic is short circuited, and impulsivity takes over
Oh shit I posted that
Oh fuck I bought that
Sorry, I didn’t mean that-
And I harm myself and others without malicious intent
and don’t remember how it happened

Poetry: Gift

I wrote this poem in July of 2022.

I’m the gift that keeps on giving ….hahaha

If you inspire me consider it a gift
it means you’ve made an impact on me
sure my words may feel angry
but that’s just me processing
because I have the most painful mental illness
and writing angry poems is how I deal with it
if you become my muse I must have felt something for you
could be hate or love
if you’re lucky, it’s both
that means you’ll be bestowed with endless poetry about you