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Poetry: Bilingual

I wrote this in January of 2022.

me at work living that bilingual life

Stuck in between Spanish and English
is a bilingual nightmare
constantly switching between languages
gives me a lifelong jaqueca
and at times I don’t get it right
it’s switching between two identities
Latina or American
it gets hard and confusing at times
but it’s who I am
Hablo con mamá en Español
I speak to my sons in English
Hablo con los pacientes en Español
I speak to my coworkers in English
and to code switch parece una comedia
I’m told that I’m fun and loud en Español
pero soy profesional y reservada in English
eventually I learn to meld
my American and Latina personalities
and I find my most authentic
bilingual and bicultural identity

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: teenager

aqui esta la version en Espanol: https://lifeonthebpd.com/2022/09/01/poesia-sin-claridad/

I channel the teenager that resides in me
on days when I’m about to lose my shit
I daydream what it be like to allow
the teenager in me to take over
imagine going to the airport with my passport
and escape to somewhere, anywhere
I’m free to be nobody
where I’m not a mom, a coworker,
a daughter, a friend
somewhere where I can relax and write
flowery poetry about sunsets and trees
instead of writing poems about capitalism,
kids and big karen energy

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: love letter

I wrote this poem in april of 2023.

profound thoughts as I write my love letter

my poetry has never been to get attention, likes, comments, validation
and while I appreciate all those things
I have to be honest –
my poetry is and will always be for me to speak my truth,
to process my feelings, to heal from life’s tragedies
to understand myself and learn to love myself as I am
my poetry is the ultimate love letter to myself and the universe

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: by the fireside

I wrote this poem in April of 2022.

corazon, no puedo dejar de pensar en ti-Selena

by the fireside I fall in love again and this time I’m sure
because before I met him I knew I was enough
before I met him I knew I was complete
before he was even a thought in my mind
he knew all about me
before I knew anything about him
he’s read my poetry
and nothing I’ve written scares him
to him I’m more than a pretty girl
to him I’m more than my diagnosis
to him I’m more than my chaotic past
because unlike the others, he sees my humanity
he sees my perseverance and resilience
and to him, I’ve become his everything

Posted on by pattytacuri

poesía: reina

escribí este poema en abril del 2023.

siempre fui una reina

mi empoderamiento no fue un proceso fácil-
tuve que deshacerme de la noción
que alguien me complementaria, me salvaría
tuve que enfrentar mis fuertes miedos e inseguridades
y tuve que llenarme con un gran amor a mi misma
que siempre reservaba para otras personas
y aunque a veces me quería rendir-nunca pare
seguí adelante con un fuego dentro de mi
que se rehusaba a apagarse
me prendia la luz del camino cuando la oscuridad
de mi depresión quería ganar
y después de dos años ahora por fin
Reconozco la reina que siempre fui
la que recién le doy una oportunidad de respirar, vivir
y triunfar

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poetry: headache

I wrote this poem in April of 2022.

does a scorpion sting when fighting back? -Taylor Swift

I overthink, I overthink and I overthink
and my head hurts from so much anxiety
Society puts so much pressure on me
to be nice, to be pretty
to be kind, to be smart
the stress is tearing me apart
but slowly I start to breathe
and the pressure starts to decrease
I change the narrative
And stop with listening to my inner critic
Fuck societal expectations
so what if I’m an aberration
the only person who determines my identity
is me
not you, not him,not my parents
and not society

Posted on by pattytacuri

poesía: pino

escribí este poema en abril del 2023.

mi tío Genaro y yo con el árbol de Pino ,atras esta el paisaje de Oxapampa

abrazo el árbol de pino para absorber su energía
y para darle mis angustias y tristeza
y rezo por todos que dejaron mi vida
porque sin esas lecciones
no sería la maravilla que soy hoy dia

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poetry: reminder

I wrote this poem in April of 2022.

from Charmin to alarmin in seconds- Noah Kahan

Dear future heartbroken me,
Sometimes it won’t be you or even him
Sometimes things don’t work out
It’s nothing to be obsessed about
Sometimes love isn’t enough
It doesn’t mean you’re not enough
Sometimes things end abruptly
and it’s not the end of your story
and sometimes you learn from it
And most of the time
it will serve to change your narrative

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: unnerving

I wrote this poem in april of 2023.

from short hikes in Athens in 2021 to treacherous 5 mile hikes in Oxapampa in April 2023-it’s all unnerving

I put my insecurities and fears on display for the world to see
it’s a most arduous task-it’s not for the weak
at first I thought it was crazy
it was me trying to get attention
it was me seeking validation
and while it may have been these things
it was also brave, courageous
to be so radically honest
about what unnerves me
It’s how I’ve been able to heal
and claim my identity

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: roses

I wrote this poem in April of 2022.

I wanna eat pancakes for dinner- Lizzy McAlphine

Thorny long stemmed burgundy red roses remind me of how I’m loved
The beauty of the roses is how men admire me and fall for me
the burgundy red reminds me of how my heart bleeds after they leave me
and the sharp thorns stab my lungs as rejection and devastation sets in

Posted on by pattytacuri · 1 Comment

poetry: message

I wrote this poem in april of 2023.

me looking out at the sunset in Lima

a red bird appeared to me in a dream
it carried the spirit of an ancestor I had never known
he told me to not get too comfortable in my current life
while it’s been a good life and I keep thriving
and making my dreams come true
I have even more room for improvement
my purpose is bigger than I’ve ever dreamed of
and through my storytelling
I will not just heal myself but help others
find their own path in their hero’s journey

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: list poem for my future love story

I wrote this poem in April of 2022.

no you’re not even here but you’re doing my head in-Gracie Abrams

1)don’t try to change me
2)don’t try to save me
3)don’t put me up on an altar
4)don’t try to dim my light
5)don’t tell me you love me unless you mean it
6)don’t get mad when I make you into my muse

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: heart of a lioness

I wrote this poem in april of 2023.

I look calm but inside of me lies the heart of a leona

my protective instinct rings loudly in me
I will protect everyone I love no matter what
even if I have to die for them to be safe
even if I have to leave them alone for them to have peace
of mind
their well being means everything to me
inside of me lies the heart of a lioness ready to roar
ready to protect everyone she loves