poetry: consequences

I wrote this poem in August of 2022.

for real for real….

the consequences of being a hopeless romantic outweigh any rewards
everytime I start to believe in love it never works out
Everytime I start to believe in love it ends up in chaos and destruction
and i try and try again only always to have the same ending
and after 26 years of doing this-I donโ€™t have it in me
to endure around love failure
someone who appears sure of me-only for them to change their mind
about me on a whim
the consequences of being a hopeless romantic has filled a dozen
notebooks and journals with sorrow and grief

poetry: no one is coming to rescue you

I wrote this poem in August of 2023.

such a hard lesson to learn

No one is coming to rescue you, princess
no matter how much you wish to be saved or try your hardest to  manifest
a prince to carry the heavy burden of responsibility
youโ€™re constantly lifting
No one is coming to save you, princess
Itโ€™s up to you to save yourself
Itโ€™s up to you to continue to work hard
and be selective on what you expend
your energy on
No one is coming to help you, princess
Youโ€™re no longer relying on others
for a sense of identity or security
and youโ€™re now an independent Queen
whoโ€™s learned only she herself
can save herself and is wise enough to block out
any negativity or toxicity
that threatens her autonomy
or wants to bring on another
Emotional relapse

poesรญa: El dilemna

escribรญ este poema en agosto del 2022.

destrozada denuevo

El dilema de darte mi amor
me causa ansiedad e insomnia
como se que no seras otro error
otro prรญncipe azul falso
que me quiere hasta que se harta de mi
como se que de nuevo no acabarรฉ
con mi corazรณn en pedazos
por lo que no pudo ser

poetry: NSA Telepathic Sex

I wrote this poem in August 2023.

maybe my alien will bring this kind of romantic energy

Iโ€™m curious about the aliens on earth
and if theyโ€™re into NSA, telepathic sex
the kind where I get to lie down
and sleep, and they come into my dreams
and make me have multiple orgasms
Over and over again
perhaps these are crazy thoughts
from a middle-aged woman
whoโ€™s been celibate for more than a year
And is oh so thirsty for intimacy
but canโ€™t stand the thought of a man
getting near me
it makes me want to vomit
at this point Iโ€™d take some extra terrestrial
Out of the universe sex without any feelings involved
the kind that fixes my craving for connection
and intimacy
the kind that doesnโ€™t bring me another episode
of psychosis

poetry: playground

I wrote this poem in August of 2022.

look but don’t come near me

My bra is the milkshake that brings men to my playground
It gives me the cleavage that makes them feel like theyโ€™re in love
Theyโ€™ll claim it’s my words or my eyes they’re in love with , but letโ€™s not kid ourselves
Itโ€™s really my majestic breasts that pop out with their own personalities
they fuel their many exotic and erotic fantasies

poetry: anything

I wrote this poem in August of 2023.

guy holding the fish in his profile pic, come find me

anything resembling love threatens the home Iโ€™ve built
over the past two years
and yet the romantic threads in me wonโ€™t disappear
they want to weave another love story
they want to be pulled into the magic to getting know
someone new
and having arms to call home

poetry: TBH

I wrote this poem in August of 2022.

heartbreak brings up raging hello kitty energy…hahaha

My love data tells me I shouldnโ€™t try again because every time
I crash and burn and cause trauma and drama
because every time it ends, I get hateful and want revenge
and While I do appreciate the poetry that comes
after every broken relationship
I donโ€™t think I can withstand the heartbreak and hardship
the next time it ends

poetry: doomed

I wrote this poem in August of 2023.

exactly

Am I doomed to men trying me on
just so they can change their minds-
days, weeks, months, years later
is it some kind of karmic energy in me
I still havenโ€™t found the remedy for?
Perhaps I really need to stop trying
to find hope in love
and stick to whatโ€™s working for me
and thatโ€™s being alone

poetry: IHOP

I wrote this poem in August of 2020.

this was the best AI generated Art could do…idk,,lol

I met you on a cold January night at the IHOP
across your apartment complex
As I was eating up my loneliness
with scrambled eggs and coffee
I hoped you couldnโ€™t see remnants
of tears that had fallen before you came
and you sat across from me
and as we awkwardly made conversation
I wondered if you would be the one
to breathe new life into my almost dead existence
I wondered if your kiss would help me
reignite a fire of desire, would remind me
Iโ€™m more than a wife and mother
But most of all I wondered if maybe, just maybe
someone would finally love me

poetry: tradition not kept

I wrote this poem in August of 2023.

me with my oldest in August of 2023

Children should be seen, and not heard is one tradition Iโ€™ll never keep
It would mean invalidating my childrenโ€™s feelings
It would mean for them to have years of therapy trying to find their sense of identity
It would mean to reduce them to shadows who only speak when spoken to
It would mean passing them the torch of a generational curse that makes them question their self-worth over and over again
So everyone can judge me or criticize my parenting all they want
I like my children to not just be seen but also heard
even if itโ€™s sometimes loud and boisterous
even if it sometimes sounds disrespectful
Itโ€™s important for their emotional growth, for their confidence
and to break and heal the generational curse where children are silenced

poesรญa: pecadora

Here’s the English version of this poem:

Poetry: Dying Innocence

Temblaba con vergรผenza por la electricidad
que sentรญa entre sus piernas
serรญa esto la maldad del cual las monjas
que le habรญan advertido
estaba desesperado por parar
pero no podรญa
seria que acabarรญa quemรกndose en el infierno
por ser adicta al placer que sentรญa
cada vez que se entregaba a รฉl
una caricia de รฉl y ella
se convierte de santa a pecadora

poetry: could we have done more?

I wrote this poem in August of 2023.

ai generated art

could we have done more?
could his story have had a different ending?
could we have all been more compassionate-
more open instead of entrenched and absorbed in our own worlds?
all of these questions are asked, days or week or even months
later, wondering-if we carry any blame or responsibility
when someone ends their life with their own two hands