I wrote this poem in 2019 when I got into a fight with a friend because he was cruel to one of my friends. After this fight, we didn’t talk for 2 years but we ended up reconnecting in the summer of this year.
random pic of me pissed in 2019
“Control myself”, he said as I called out his misogyny his fragile ego couldn’t handle hard truths thrown at him he thinks that he has a license to offend because of the organ between his legs and the pale color of his skin- He thinks that I’m wrong for not sitting still and silent He thinks that I have no right to stand up for myself “Control myself”, he said to and “fuck off” I replied to him you won’t ever be able to control a woman like me
am I reading too much into the attention and energy you’re giving me the casual messages, the comments on my posts the nervous vibe and the hug you gave me the first time we met It felt like chemistry Am I even your type? Or is this the beginning of beautiful friendship One that will last, one that will be healthy Without the complications and expectations that lust or love brings
I wrote these three poems in November of 2022 when I was still married. One thing I wanted to mention about the first poem is that even though my ex no longer serves me breakfast, he’s still super reliable. For example, my car decided to kiss another car this morning (car accident) and he was the first one I called to help as I was overwhelmed. Granted, we still live in the same house but he didn’t have to come and still came. I’m glad we are still able to be friends despite the fact that we’re divorced. I think that when it comes to love, familial and friendship love is the best kind of love there is out there for me.
my car was trying to kiss another car…
Bloganuary writing prompt
Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?
When I think about the greatest gift someone can give me, it’s trust. I feel like trust is something that comes with being a safe space for them to share their troubles, their concerns, their most private thoughts with me. The inner circle I have now with my family and friends gives me that and I feel honored that I can be that person to them. It is important to have community and be safe spaces for each other when the world continues to be a never ending dumpster fire.
This was a really hard prompt for me to answer because, believe it or not, despite what you read on my blog, there have been a lot of men who have positively impacted my life. I think I’ll talk about the most recent one whom I became friends with this year. I met him at open mic years ago, but it wasn’t until this year that I started talking to him. So in January of this year, I was going through this major depression and for some reason, I started reading his book of poetry he gave it to me at open mic sometime in 2022. His book really resonated with me because his poetry has a lot of dark humor along with these raw feelings that hit you in the gut. I have to say that the only thing that made me laugh or smile on some days was reading his poems. I think it helped me cope with these really intense feelings of despair I was having. I probably should write a review about the book at some point, haha. I won’t tell him, though, cause that would be embarrassing. Anyways this year, I got to know him as a friend, and I liked that his communication style is straightforward and without any bullshit. He kind of called me out on my energy drink addiction, and that’s part of the reason I quit drinking them. I respect him a lot because he’s honest and authentic about who he is. He’s the kind of person who doesn’t care who likes him or doesn’t like him.He’s also provided me with books about poetry so I can improve on my craft and that’s been super helpful.I think I would call this friendship a reparative friendship with a man who I can trust and well, given my history, I haven’t had many of those so it’s nice. With all that being said, I hope this friendship continues into 2024. Below is a link to my friend’s book.
I had forgotten this poem I wrote in 2002 when I was going through something pretty hard.
I’ve fallen out of- I’m no longer yours to- I keep trying to find the right words to tell you I’m done with “us” but everytime I try it all feels so inadequate and I fall under a blanket of shame and guilt and I can’t go through with it
This was my response to prompt #25:A thing your life has in excess
I still get mad when it rains though
I lie to myself about my lack of love The truth is that love is everywhere to be found My mom who calls to check in on me My tia who sends me Buenos Días videos My coworkers who put up with my many moods My kids who tell me “I got you ma” when I can’t figure out the latest household gadget My friends who listen to me without judgment Love is everywhere I am and it’s time for me to radically accept it
This was my response to prompt #12: Something to celebrate
I’ll be celebrating with these two homegirls
Tonight I celebrate with friends, with champagne and music We celebrate how far I’ve come and make a toast to a future full of potential and promise we laugh about all my past drama, dance to Taylor Swift and Yung Gravy and cry with joy about everything good in my life tonight is a celebration of the life I’ve work hard to build tonight is a celebration of who I fought hard to become
I wrote this poem in 2002 about Brad, my former friend who lied to me for about a decade. Before I wrote this poem, we had met up maybe once and fooled around. After that, I tried to make it go back to a platonic friendship but he kept pressuring me for more.
I feel so fucking bad My dear friend Brad I know that you were displeased I never meant for to think I was a tease But I can no longer be that girl That doesn’t know her worth And is okay with being a “good lay” Sorry for not being able to be your booty call It’s just that I have learned That if I want respect I have to be firm I hope you’ll forgive me and understand And we can again be friends and hang
