Ivy

9/30/2023

Tell us about a time when you felt out of place.

the ceilings of America are laced with poison ivy
every time I act out of the norm or forget to code switch
people tell me I’m too dramatic -ouch-
accused of being toxic and crazy-damn
and a rash of doubt takes over my mind
I’ll never fit it, no one will ever love or accept me
and I turn down who I am
but even that doesn’t work
it makes things worse
and I explode and project-
fuck you, you’re blocked
then I discover therapy -slowly I heal
accept the pieces of myself that will never fit in
exhibit myself in my most authentic form
and slowly the poison ivy becomes an ivy of love and growth
and I understand that to be happy
I need let go of normalcy
and embrace my unconventional and eccentric self

Glimpse of me (inspired by Joji’s Glimpse of Us)

A world of difference between these two women and the woman I am now…I just keep getting better
Daily writing prompt
Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?

Glimpse of me (inspired by Joji)

I catch a glimpse of the different versions of me 

I’ve been in photographs, old poetry, past journal entries

dresses too big for me, mad women I was obsessed with

and I’m in awe of how I was able to survive despite all of the pain felt-

I’m grateful for all of the love I’ve given and made-

and all of the love given to the different versions of me

I’m glad for all of the versions of myself I’ve been in this lifetime

Who’ve led me to the me I am today

A woman in control of her thoughts, and emotions

A woman ready to let go of her past

A woman excited to embark on new adventures in love and life-

A woman finally living life on her own terms without regrets and lies-

The woman I’m becoming makes me tremble with enthusiasm

of what’s to come now that I’ve let go of everything 

that’s been holding me back 

11/20/22

Dramatic

sorry not even a bit sorry

What was the best compliment you’ve received?

people call me dramatic
because I’m loud and crazy,
because of my salty poetry

and maybe I am dramatic
but I’ll never be sorry about it
or even shame myself for it
what can you expect after
a life full of chaos and drama?

so what if i’m if dramatic
Does it bother you if I don’t
fake subtlety?
or does it bother you
that I live out my authenticity

Incan Queen

slaying every day with my hard work ethic and my paper and pen

What is the last thing you learned?

Learning to uncensor myself was a hard process
I always walked on eggshells for the comfort of others
Said yes when I wanted to say no
Toned myself down for fear of being too much
Accommodated constantly to keep the peace
Cut off pieces of myself to make myself digestible
But I got too old and tired of hiding who I really am
of continuing to pretend to be something I’m not
or never will be
so I chose to stop hiding the real me
who’s loud and dramatic
who’s crazy and creative
who’s moody and depressed
who ‘s a beautiful and majestic Incan Queen

Poetry: Writing is My Lifeline

I wrote this in January of 2022.

me in January of 2022 in my writing attire

Writing is my lifeline
with it, I’m almost fine
without it I’m almost lost
and my mind pays the cost

Writing is my lifeline
Especially since I’m borderline
It’s brings my truth to the forefront
It’s almost my antidepressant

Writing is my lifeline
It’s part of my life’s design
I accept it as my passion
and also my ammunition

Poetry: The Ultimate Queen

I wrote this in December of 2021.

And those flames burn 🔥 😍

At 40, I feel like the ultimate Queen
after losing layers and layers of my princess skin
The broken princess I had to beat
to finally feel enough and complete
Friends and men full of duplicity
Have no place in my world of authenticity
I no longer wear my crown of guilt and shame
It caused me too much emotional pain
Instead I wear a crown of confidence and power
being true to myself is my superpower
Fuck anyone who thinks I’m too much or not enough
You assholes were never deserving of my love
I am the ultimate Queen
and I’m finally making myself seen