Joven y impetuosa viví una vida donde mis impulsos y hormonas controlaban todo- hasta que un me encontré con una sorpresa inesperada que cambiaría el rumbo de mi destino fue mi hijo-una bendición mandada de Dios con el madure, con el aprendí el significado del amor fue el arco iris de una vida llena de caos y tempestad
my soul commands me to slow down and listen in silence to what I need It tells me to not suppress anything-even it looks angry another mean and petty poem appears it’s okay, it’s shadow self needing to be seen it’s a part of my identity that doesn’t define me my soul tells me I’m not worst or best moments I’m more complicated than that I’m a woman full of trauma search for the calm in the chaos that is her life
Running away from my feelings, running away from my thoughts I will my legs to keep going as they start to groan and threaten to turn to mush the autumn sun shines on me and this should lift my spirits but the gloom stay within as I run, run, run Running away from my feelings, running away from my thoughts I still hate everything-especially myself Thinking of all my wrongs and how I’m doomed to a life of solitary confinement Will I ever fix what’s wrong with me? and then I see it-a deer a few yards away from me 3 second glances are exchanged it runs across the road away from me- and something shifts in me hope is awakened with a reminder of nature’s splendor it puts everything in perspective I am but a speck in the universe a creation of GOD It’s a waste to focus on past regrets and could’ve beens I need to seize the moment of what is and what could be- and I run on to the next chapter of my life
me tienes en la esquina de confusión y desilusión como un animal tratando de entenderte, siempre persiguiendote, Viviendo de los trozos de atención y afección que me tiras cuando te da la gana
el propósito de mi vida nunca será un trabajo o una relación Ni siquiera será en obtener un estatus lleno de lujos y respeto el propósito de mi vida me vino claridad este otoño el propósito de mi vida es ser una buena persona y madre
I nurture my soil with love and everything that makes me smile Excitement stirs inside of me thinking of all my untapped potential and the poems and stories that are yet to be written The soil I step in is solid and I am grounded and calm Is this what’s called God’s love?
otro giro equivocado más en el amor y perderé la fe para siempre porque siguiendo repetir la misma tragedia es una locura que está acabando con mi espíritu, con mi alma mejor sería quedarme sola que seguir perdiendo partes de mi por mi anhelo de ser amada
I’m not the woman of your dreams or the woman you’ll worship as a deity or the woman who accommodates and bends according to your needs but I’m the woman who’ll haunt you with the “what ifs”, I’m the woman who’ll fuel your creativity, I’m the woman who’ll make you believe magics exists
My disintegration looks like a tsunami that destroys me I try to navigate the tidal waves of my emotions and that tidal waves washes over me, and I’m overwhelmed and my logic is short circuited, and impulsivity takes over Oh shit I posted that Oh fuck I bought that Sorry, I didn’t mean that- And I harm myself and others without malicious intent and don’t remember how it happened