
Do you believe in fate/destiny?


Do you believe in fate/destiny?

I wrote this poem in March of 2022.

What do I do with a mind that wonβt quit?
It keeps me on this never ending guilt trip
These racing thoughts keep me up at night
And tell me write, write, write
And I want it all to stop the overflowing inspiration
from my muse cup
But this is who I am
and forever will be
a bipolar and BPD me
trying hard to deal with existing

Describe the most ambitious DIY project you’ve ever taken on.

Here is the English Version of this poem:
Poetry: A Note
el abre la guantera y sale una hoja de papel
es una nota de ella-el estΓ‘ nervioso en leerla
es un poema que ella escribiΓ³ para el-
ella le dice que Γ©l es su amanecer
y le hace una declaraciΓ³n de amor
todo este tiempo, el pense que eran algo casual
el llora porque es demasiado tarde para que Γ©l le corresponda
Y piensa en lo que podrΓa haber sido
I wrote this poem in February 2022.

To write is to fight
words that cuts like swords
How do I stop this torture?
of suppressing a petty light
Pen stabs paper with might
about past regrets and lost love wars
and memories best left ignored
of a dreadful and chaotic life
To write is to fight
Demons I want to hide from
But I canβt help but succumb
to my constant inner fight
Pen stabs paper with might
and I try to find closure
about past lovers
I write from love and spite
To write is to fight
Do I really need to say that?
Yes,itβs my trauma to unpack
and my words take flight
Here’s the English Version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2022/01/06/poetry-cherish/
aprecio este momento contigo
mientras nos reΓmos de algo estupido
mientras escuchamos esta canciΓ³n
melancholica de amor
mientras vivimos una simple amistad
I wrote this poem in February of 2022.

I fantasize about death after my boyfriendβs rejection
Iβm so out of touch with reality, a car stops inches away from me
the driver honks at me and cusses me out
I am 15
I want to throw myself of the bridge on the way
to confirm Iβm my parentβs worst failure
but a kick inside me saves me
I am 17
I want my baby to stop crying, my head is starting to spin
with psychosis and I hold him a little too tight
until my husband takes him from away me
I am 30
Iβm crying while spewing nonsense
while my lover looks at me in horror and disgust
I know itβs over
I am 40
Have you ever broken the law and didn’t get caught, if so how?

EscribΓ este poema en febrero del 2022.

Mis compaΓ±eros quieren que me trepa en el armazΓ³n de barras
Y tengo mucho miedo y me da ansiedad
Les miento y les digo βmi mami no me dio permisoβ
Tengo 5 aΓ±os
Le digo a mi hermana que tengo que estudiar
con mis amigas pero en realidad
voy al cine con unos muchachos
Tengo 15 aΓ±os
Llego a mi casa embaraza de 7 meses
y mis padres esta desilusionados sin comprender
βel porquΓ©β si soy una niΓ±a buena
Tengo 17 aΓ±os
EscribΓ este poema en febrero de 2022.

la soledad me abrazo como un amigo viejo
y no me soltΓ³
la soledad me ama como un amante
que no puede vivir sin mi
la soledad me luce bien y por primera vez
me hace siento suficiente y amada
la soledad es mi calma y tranquilidad
la soledad es un regalo del universo
Here’s the English Version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/12/27/poetry-she-stopped-waiting/
me dejaste sin advertencia
me entumeci a tu memoria
fuistes otro capitulo
que nunca mΓ‘s quiero abrir
y ahora me llamas
con mil disculpas y remordimientos
Y a mi no me importa
no soy la misma chica que tu conociste
no soy la ingenua que tu enamoraste
con mentiras
ahora conozco mi valor y mi magia
y no me menospreciare para dejarte
regresar a mi vida
I wrote this poem in February of 2022.

someday everything wonβt feel so heavy
someday I wonβt swim in anxiety
someday Iβll find self love
Someday Iβll be enough
Someday, someday, someday
Maybe someday is today
today I see the light
today Iβm grateful for my life
today I feel like enough
Today I have self love
Maybe just maybe
Today Iβm truly happy
Here is the English version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/12/25/poetry-looking-forward/
sentandome en nuestra felicidad de reciΓ©n casados,
le doy las gracias a Dios por tanta felicidad
vendrΓ‘ muchos recuerdos que haremos de nuestra vida compartida
criando a nuestros hijos desde bebitos a adolescentes angustiados
discusiones triviales, responsabilidades, y facturas de la casa
y un dΓa le contaremos a nuestros nietos nuestro cuento de amor
nos pelearemos de quien iniciΓ³ nuestra relaciΓ³n (fui yo)
hoy dia, soy la mujer mΓ‘s feliz en el mundo
en convirtiΓ©ndome en tu esposa
Here is the English Version that inspired this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/12/20/poetry-not-that-woman/
Sola, ella realiza su potencial
Sola, ella conoce su poder
Sola, ella entiende que siempre fue suficiente
y despuΓ©s de tantas desilusiones amorosas
ella estΓ‘ agotada y prefiere su soledad
que le da libertad y paz
I wrote this poem in February of 2022.

Iβm 18 and walking across the football stadium to receive my diploma
the one I almost didnβt get, my parents and I breathe a sigh of relief
Iβm 24 and I hold my baby boy in my arms, itβs love at first sight
heβs the best birthday present and Iβm humbled
Iβm 28 and Iβm graduating from college,itβs been a an arduous journey to get here
but I make it and my dad cries and tells me how proud he is of me
Iβm 30 and holding my third baby boy, heβs my rainbow after the worst storm
everyone in my family holds him and there is an overflow of love
Iβm 36 and my oldest son is walking across the gymnasion to receive his diploma
I cry with elation and pride, my heart is filled with pride and joy for him