Here is the English version of this poem:
Poetry: Discarded Crush
me menosprecias como si fuera nada,
como si fuera una mujer ordinaria
acaso no puedes ver mi magia?
acaso no puedes ver que soy una diosa
disfrazada con piel de humana?
pero, no, tu me rechazas-
pensando que soy una mujer ignorante,
que soy una cualquiera ni siquiera digna de un beso-
y no te puedo cambiar de parecer
que pena, querido, a lo mejor pudiéramos haber sido
el poema de amor más legendario y profundo en el mundo
I turn the world off and by the world I mean my phone-
I’m done with the posts about healing or being self aware
or reels about how people like me struggle
because of patriarchy or white supremacy
I’m done with texts and calls from friends and family
asking if I’m okay because of some weird status I posted
I’m done with the announcements about babies
or impending marriages or how so and so’s kid made honor roll
I’m done with emails asking me if I want to improve
my website or am I ready for a new summer wardrobe
I’m just done with the world today and retreat into my world
of writing,reading, and vinyls
Here is the English version of this poem:
Poetry: Thoughts
regresas para decirme que no puedes parar de pensar en mi
que todavía me extrañas, que cometiste un error al rompernos
y todo lo que alguna vez sentí por ti vuelve a la superficie
y quiero cerrar los ojos y correr a tus brazos
y empezar un nuevo cuento de amor contigo
pero la razón interviene, y mi dignidad regresa
al acordarme del infierno que viví cuando te fuiste
y te digo
“perdoname, pero no puedo cometer el mismo error denuevo”
,
Here is the English version of this poem:
Poetry: Inspiring
ni siquiera se tu apellido
pero ya estas sacando la poeta
que vive en mi
ni siquiera se tu cumpleaños
pero ya sueño contigo
ni siquiera se donde vives
pero tu ya ocupas un espacio
en mi corazón
Here’s the English Version of this poem:
Poetry: Three Years Too Late
ahora recién reconoces tu error y me pides disculpas
ahora recién decides enfrentar el dolor que generaste
al negar la existencia de nuestro hijo
ahora recién quieres desempeñar tu papel de padre
después de tu desgraciada ausencia de tres años
esperando que te perdone como si nada paso
lo siento, pero vete de aquí–
el no necesita a un infeliz en su vida
que nunca pudo dar la cara por el
que prefiero esconderlo y olvidarlo por tres años
que quiere usarlo para limpiar su conciencia
para sentirse mejor
I wrote this poem in May of 2022.
I’m finally free from the chains of love
I felt truly a slave to it
Thinking I needed it, thinking I wanted it
But the truth is
the only person I ever needed was me
I never needed anyone else to care for me,
to love me
it’s always temporary until they leave
Today marks my independence day
from love’s heavy and terrible weight
Because I am worth more than another fickle soul
Who I always become too much for
Because I deserve a sense of emotional stability
After so many emotional scars caused by love
I wrote this poem in May of 2022.
The princess and the queen live within me
And they each serve a purpose
the princess cares about the men in her life
She’s soft and submissive, kind and generous
She’ll do anything for love, she’s loyal
But sometimes the princess get taken advantage of
And the queen steps in
The queen is determined, she is strong and opinionated
And ambitchous and bossy
She’ll do anything to protect herself and her kids
and gives zero fucks about anyone else
And lately I’m trying to find a perfect balance
of embracing these two beings who live within me
Happy international Nurse’s Day to all the nurses and especially my favorite nurse, my sister. We’ve had a complicated relationship through most of my life but within the past few years, our relationship has gotten a lot better. I have more to say about this but that calls for a longer blog post in the future. Today, I want to honor her for being the awesome human being that she is. Below is a picture of us at a concert we went in July of 2022 and a poem I wrote in December of 2021 when she turned 47.
To My Sister On Her 47th birthday
you’re 3 years away 50
but still look like you’re in your 30’s
Has anyone told you how amazing you are?
Have our parents loved you out loud?
I’ve always admired you for your fortitude and resilience
but wish for you to have peace and an opportunity to be soft
I get it though –
It is hard to be soft in
a society that expects you resemble a tower of strength,
where you take care of everyone first and put yourself last
It was something you had to learn at a young age
you used to be the
Villian in my book at times,
but lately I think of you as the victim
and the victor_
You’re a victim of life-
the victim because of the pressure
you were put under for being the oldest
the victim for being a woman of color
in a racist and sexist society
But you’re also the victor-
the victor never giving up-
no matter how fucked up life got for you
the victor for facing shit head on without any fucks
and with an intimidating confidence (maybe that’s why I was jealous)
oh sister of mine,
on your 47th year-I hope.
you get to sit and enjoy
the wonderful life you’ve created
Photo Credit: Sincerely Media via Unsplash
By Julia Mitchell
Life doesn’t always go the way we planned, and oftentimes our finances take a hit during these detours. Perhaps you lost your job because of downsizing, or you’ve struggled to find good-paying work. Or you could be recovering from financial debt from an extended illness or repair. No matter the cause, financial stress can feel inescapable. Fortunately, there are some steps you can take to change your situation. Life on the BPD explains how.
Unemployment is a serious problem, and many people have been out of work. The number of people reporting unemployment has varied a lot recently, but numbers are slowly decreasing. This is a great trend, but lost money during extended unemployment can impact you for a long time. And if your new job doesn’t pay enough, it will be difficult to financially recover from that deficit.
If you’re noticing changes to your work prospects with no end in sight, or if the type of job you were doing won’t pay enough to get you back out of debt, you may want to consider changing careers. Think about other areas of interest where your education and work history may be relevant. Consider going back to school. There are many options from traditional classes to night classes or even online degree programs.
Lastly, you may decide that you want to start a business of your very own. Beyond coming up with an idea for your company, there are a few things you need to do to get things started. First, you need to come up with a business idea. This can be something you’re passionate about or have experience in. Once you have your idea, you’ll need to start planning everything out. This includes coming up with a name, logo, and brand. You’ll also need to create a website and social media accounts. Once all of that is done, you’ll need to start marketing your business and getting customers. The best way to do this is by networking and using social media. Finally, you’ll need to continue growing your business by always being on the lookout for new opportunities. If you do all of these things, you’ll be well on your way to starting a new company.
Between work, family obligations, and worrying, you may find you have little time for yourself. This can lead to a vicious cycle of a lack of sleep and anxiety. When you’re stressed and not getting enough sleep, you’re more likely to eat poorly, which only worsens the problems. Instead, do something just for yourself. You could read a book, take a relaxing bath, or exercise. Engage in anything that takes your mind off your financial problems.
It may feel overwhelming, but now is a great time to reestablish your financial goals, since you are dedicated to getting yourself back on track financially. Take a look at your current goals and decide if they’re still feasible. It may be time to alter them to adjust to the economic climate and extend the overall timeline. Set positive goals with smaller sub-goals so that you can see your progress. But also push yourself towards a challenging final goal. You may be surprised by what a little positive anxiety can help you accomplish.
If you’re not sure how to set new goals, consider working with a financial planner or doing some online research. They gather helpful information about financial planning, including professionals who can come alongside you to create and support these goals and present them online. A little guidance can go a long way!
Budgeting helps you know exactly how much money is coming in and going out. You know how much you can save monthly and how much you have to enjoy.
However, when situations change your budget needs to change, too. You may currently have more costs related to your household, potentially less income, and possibly fewer entertainment options. At this point, it’s time to create a new budget with all this in mind.
Once you have an accurate, up-to-date budget, you should look for areas where you can spend less and save more. With an uncertain economic climate, it’s more important than ever to have a nest egg.
The pandemic brought about historically low refinance rates. Look at your options, because you could save yourself money each month and in the long run. For example, you can look into cash-out refinancing, which replaces your current mortgage with a larger one. You then receive the difference between the old and new as cash, which gives you some money to use however you choose.
If you’re interested in refinancing, you’ll need to gather some information first. When you cash out or take a home equity loan, the lender needs to know your home’s current appraisal and the amount you still owe on your house. The appraisal will determine how much your home is worth now so that your lender can calculate how much equity you have in your home. The equity is the amount of money your home is appraised for minus the amount you still owe on your mortgage.
Life has a way of surprising us – sometimes for good and other times not-so-good. Even if you’ve experienced some financial hardships lately, don’t let them completely derail your finances. Take a deep breath and reevaluate. Then, take steps today to start putting away money, even if that means you have to make a career change or reevaluate your budget.
Julia Mitchell is a career and finance writer. Check out here work at http://www.outspiration.net
Happy Asian American and Pacific Islander Month! I wrote this poem inspired by my favorite Asian American, my oldest son.
I was young and so stupid
a kid having another kid
but with you I grew up
and learned the meaning of love
you’re everything a mother could want
a wonderful and amazing son
and while I’ll feel some grief
the day you’ll your spread wings
I’ll feel a special kind of pride
as I watch you shine your golden light
I wrote this poem in April of 2022.
Faith found me one day
and told me to keep going when I didn’t want to
Faith made me believe in GOD when I wanted to fall
into the abyss of depression
Faith held me as I cried endless tears of my about
my latest life’s catastrophe
Faith loved me when I couldn’t love myself
Faith brought me people who believed in me
When I couldn’t believe in myself
Faith decided to one day bring it’s accomplice
HOPE
Here is the English Version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2022/01/28/poetry-my-past/
el disco de mi trauma toca en el tocadisco de mi vida
en un ciclo infinito de los errores cometidos
en un ciclo infinito de lo que pudo ser
y trato y trato de escaparme
hallar brazos nuevos que me abracen y olvidarme de él
emborracharme hasta quedarme dormida esperando
la nostalgia de él no me visite en mis sueños
y rezar por una cura, un remedio
para borrarlo de mi mente para siempre
para poder empezar de nuevo con alguien que sepa valorarme
Sin el fantasma de el constante persiguiendome
I wrote this poem in April of 2022:
I’ve been called an exclamation mark before
But I feel more like a question mark
Because I always ask questions like:
Why am I like this?
How do I get rid of anxious thoughts?
Where does my heart really reside?
What is best for me?
Who will love me?
Here is the English Version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2022/01/23/poetry-youre-a-mess/
Me alejo de ti porque esto ya no funciona
Me alejo de ti porque no puedo seguir en tu aura
de desmadre y caos que eres
Me alejo de ti por el bien de los dos
para que tu encuentras tu calma
para que yo no pierda mi cordura
Life on the BPD 