I wrote this poem in February of 2023.
I’m so fucking triggered-I can’t see past my tears
when the fuck does this healing journey end
Because this constant confrontation with trauma
leaves me drained and constantly causes chaos
and devastation within me
I wrote this poem in October of 2022.
The wild elephant visits me and threatens my sanity and I can’t breathe-
Waves of trauma hit and overwhelmed my mind and body
It’s time for fight or flight and I choose flight-
A few minutes in the bathroom when I count my breaths and calm my inner child
who is screaming internally because she feels unsafe, helpless, and scared
And middle age me quells her-puts on a blanket of strength and resilience
Tells her, it will be okay and she’s safe-and I’ll protect her-
And within minutes I’m back to my normal self-
go back to work and take out any remnants of my panic driven energy
on the product I have left to stock
by Julie Morris
Since the world is more social than ever, with connections available at every moment of the day, an introvert can quickly become burnt out. Introspective individuals like yourself need personal time to refresh and recharge, and it often requires creative ideas to carve that time out. Today, Life on the BPD presents some techniques you can implement to boost your self-care and live your best life.
Just because you can be available 24/7 doesn’t mean you should be. Before smartphones and tablets, people could remain productive without having every friend and family member on demand. Train others to get used to you being unavailable at every moment by scheduling do not disturb times on your devices. Set automatic instant message and email responses for when you’re not on the clock that mentions when you can respond to messages again.
Unapologetically acknowledge your busy schedule to let people know you value them, but you give each assignment your undivided attention. Set at least a half-hour daily to disconnect from all devices and social media for the sake of your mental health.
Henry Ford Health notes that a few minutes for a breathing break can be all you need to recalibrate your mind and body during overwhelming moments. Try pursed lip breathing to calm your mind and lessen stress. Diaphragmatic breathing can help you to fall asleep and manage your nervous system. The lion’s breath technique is useful for invigorating yourself when you feel exhausted.
We all know how vital a good night’s rest can be when it comes to helping us recharge to face the next day’s challenge, but sometimes, that’s easier said than done. Luckily, you can greatly improve your sleep quality with a mattress – especially if you haven’t changed yours in ages! Here are some top-rated options that make the most of modern technology to give you a sleep solution that’s impossible to beat.
Cleaning and decluttering your home can be an incredibly effective way to reduce stress and improve living spaces. Having a neat, organized space can help reduce anxiety as it allows for better concentration and focus. Additionally, getting rid of excess clutter can make your space feel fresher and lighter. This allows for better air circulation, creating more positive energy in the space.
Decluttering also helps reduce distractions in the environment, promoting a calmer atmosphere that leads to better clarity of thought and focus. Cleaning up also gives you an opportunity to destress by focusing on tasks that don’t require a lot of mental stimulation. In conclusion, cleaning and decluttering your home can be helpful for reducing anxiety and ushering out negative energy from the environment.
Establishing boundaries with your time is crucial for productivity, overall well-being, and healthy relationships. Without setting limits and prioritizing your time, it’s easy to become overwhelmed and fall into a cycle of stress and burnout, especially if you are an introvert.
By intentionally setting aside time for work, self-care, and relationships, you can create a balance that allows you to be more present and efficient in all aspects of your life. Boundaries can look different for different people. Perhaps you limit time with certain friends or family members who rub you the wrong way, or you cut toxic people out of your life.
You can also use technology to provide buffers, like a video doorbell that allows you to screen visitors or security cameras you can check to ensure your pesky neighbor isn’t outside when you leave for your run. If you encounter any technical glitches, look online for free troubleshooting resources first in order to avoid yet another social encounter with a repair person. Fortunately, many of these small glitches can be handled quickly and easily with a little guidance.
Creating your own private paradise offers many benefits. Thrive Global points out that emotional and physical health benefits from regular immersion in fresh air. Getting on your hands and knees or working with tools to cultivate the earth provides needed movement. Caring for plants reinforces the value of self-care and promotes calm, concentration, and creativity.
Physical activity gives you the energy to endure moments of stress and can stave off depression and worry. Make room for exercise in your weekly plan. Even if you have a lot of work taking up your time, you can find unique ways to add some movement to your day. Forgo the elevator and use the stairs. Go for a walk or a bike ride during your lunch break. If you work in a walkable area, make it a point to walk to get your daily coffee or set up a lunch meeting at a location that you can walk to.
If you have your own office and can’t physically go outside for a walk or ride, put up a “Do not disturb” sign and set up a piece of exercise equipment with virtual software and apps to take a trip through new and exciting areas.
Don’t continue with employment that saps your energy and is unrewarding. If possible, start your own business to guarantee that you’re involved in an industry and service that is fulfilling and helpful to others. Identify your strengths and market opportunities to determine where you can provide a unique offering.
However, be aware that starting your own business also means carrying your own health insurance. Fortunately, there are discounted plans available through state-specific programs that were implemented because of the Affordable Care Act. Check out your options before you dive into entrepreneurship so you aren’t left without the ability to care for your physical and mental health.
Once you decide to move forward with your business, you’ll need to spend time developing a robust marketing campaign. Your creativity can help distinguish you from the competition and create a brand identity. In addition to spreading the word via social media, broaden your customer base through some old fashioned approaches like putting up posters. To save money, design a custom poster all by yourself using these free templates that you can customize as needed.
Believe it or not, it’s impossible to thrive as an introvert in this overly connected world. Work time into your schedule to break away, spend some time decluttering and cleaning your home, change up your mattress to improve your sleep quality, proudly promote your work, and care for your mind and body so you can remain joyful and healthy.
Life on the BPD is here to help you survive and even thrive in the face of trauma. Please scroll down to find our comment form.
Photo via Pexels
Image via Pexels
by Julia Mitchell
Anxiety can affect your long-term health. It can limit your ability to exert control, paralyze you, and make you feel helpless. In fact, according to a study by the Global Burden of Disease, depression is the sixth-leading cause of disability. Fortunately, there are things you can do to prevent anxiety attacks. Here are just a few, presented below by Life on the BPD.
Spending more time outdoors can reduce anxiety and stress. Your brain receives more oxygen when you breathe in the fresh air, resulting in increased levels of serotonin — the neurotransmitter that alters your mood. Simply walking to the store for milk can lower your levels of cortisol, a stress-causing chemical in your body.
You’re more likely to feel tired at night if you spend more time outdoors during the day. The better sleep you get at night, the less anxiety you’ll experience the following day.
Many people find themselves in jobs that they do not enjoy which causes anxiety. If you are one of these people, it may be time to start looking for a more rewarding job. When searching for a new job, think about what you are looking for in a job and consider your interests and skills.
Once you have a good idea of what you want, begin your search by looking at job postings online. Take the time to update your resume with your latest skills and experience. This free resume may help you get started. You can use this – or similar – templates, which you can modify by adding your own fonts, colors, and images. It will give you a great start to refreshing your current resume.
You may find that, instead of a new job, you’re more interested in a new career with new possibilities. In that case, consider going back to school. There are plenty of reputable, accredited schools with online degree and certification programs, so you can complete coursework on your own time. This page deserves a look if you are interested in technology-related certifications, like CompTIA A+, Cloud+, or Operations Specialist.
Recording your daily stress and anxiety levels through an anxiety journal is a simple and guided process. Writing them down helps you identify triggers and negative situations that cause your anxiety. So where do you start?
These are just a few ideas to get you started on your anxiety journal. VeryWell Mind explains that writing in your journal daily helps you better understand your anxiety and hopefully prevents future anxiety attacks.
Your anxiety levels may increase if your family constantly argues, complains, and is overly critical. You can relieve tension in your home by creating a welcoming and vibrant space. Open your windows to let in the fresh air, declutter, and do a deep clean to bring positivity.
It helps if you optimize your workspace to avoid work-related stress. Rather than sitting in a traditional office chair for long periods, try an ergonomic one. They help keep your body safe and upright to reduce stress on the spine and neck. Insufficient office lighting can reduce energy, dampen mood, and cause eyestrain. Position your desk so that your back is facing the window. You’ll benefit from the light and avoid distractions. In the absence of natural light in your workspace, you can create the illusion of natural window lighting using light colors, such as white and cream, on the walls.
Having anxiety can prevent you from leading a normal life. You can get so worked up about an upcoming event that when it arrives, you’re a nervous wreck. Or the simple idea of doing things becomes overwhelming. Anxiety can be debilitating, but there are strategies you can use to calm yourself and lower your anxiety levels. Start by spending some time outside every day (if possible) and use an anxiety journal to help process your feelings. And if your job – or career – isn’t working for you, build a new resume and find a new opportunity. This is your life. Don’t let your anxious mind control it for you.
Life can be challenging, but it’s better to experience it together. Life on the BPD is my attempt to share my challenges to make others feel less alone – and to process my own experiences. Visit my website today to join our community.
I wrote this in January of 2022.
I’m at another one of life’s crossroads
trying not to make a turn for the worst
don’t stop but don’t go too fast
I want my momentum to last
I slow down and observe
and carefully ride life’s curves
and this time I really listen
and reach out to close friends
I’m not okay but I will be okay
soon I’ll find my way
I’m still grasping for a stable sense of self
and learning how to love and accept myself
I wrote this in 2009 when I was feeling contemplative about life.
Horizon
The horizon stretches out before me
In a limitless manner
I see a future but am unsure
Of which path to walk towards
Everything is a blank slate to me
Undefined by my indecision
The moment I choose
Is the moment I’ll become
Something, anything
Than the nothingness
That I am
The horizon stretches out before me
Offering everything and nothing
Offering this or that
Offering a wasted life
Or a meaningful one
The horizon stretches out before me
And I need to stop
My hesitation
And become a person of actions
And do something, anything
So the horizon is not wasted
I wrote this poem in 2008. One the BPD traits is feeling restless and oh my, I feel this a lot. Sometimes it’s for a few hours, sometimes it’s for a few days and I write about it.
Restlessness lies in
my mind at
night and does
not go away
easily. It invades
my thoughts and
questions me.
Will it ever go
away or will I
become insane?
I wrote this in 2006 when me and my husband were in this monotonous routine of kids, work, and school. I felt lonely in our relationship and it was hard for me to express it to him.
It’s frustrating
Living like this
Without desire or passion
The only thing that’s left for us
Is to leave from here
This everlasting ocean of loneliness
In which we are drowning
And separately swim to the shore
of happiness
Where we both belong
From the ages of 18 to 23, I worked for a government agency as an interpreter. I was well-liked by many of my coworkers and my first supervisor was appreciative of me. I was very good at my job and even cross-trained in many other areas that didn’t “pertain to my job”. However, at that job, I was also bullied and discriminated against for being Latina. I was also slut-shamed by my second supervisor and coworkers the latter 2 years I was there. I don’t want to say I deserved being slut-shamed but I’ll just say that I trusted the wrong coworkers with my private life and they went on to gossip about me to everyone. It was also a very stressful environment because of the work I did and clients I had to interact with. My depression and anxiety went haywire. In 2003, I decided to enroll in my local community college and major in English. In 2004, I was trying to go to school full time, work full time, and deal with my child’s new autism diagnosis. I was breaking down mentally and something had to give so I quit this job. I was fucking done. And this poem was inspired by that moment. I thought I had processed this trauma until it came back up in therapy in the summer of 2021. I didn’t realize it at the time but I had suffered a deep racial trauma that impacted me and still triggered reactions in me. I was angry. There is actually way more to this story and one day I’ll share it when I’m ready.
This was the hardest thing I did
but it had to be done
I couldn’t stand the gossip
or the two faces of everyone
the way they pretended to be my friend
but the minute I turned my back to them
they talked like I was the biggest wench
so much envy and hate
I HAVE TO ESCAPE
FROM THIS MISERABLE FATE!
so today I resigned
I didn’t tell them why
all I know is that for the first time
in a really long time
I feel something like happy
so long to the only place I have known
for an almost five year term
for once I breathe a sigh of relief
I finally had the courage to leave
so long to the hypocrisy of this place
to let myself stay here for another day
would only be a fucking waste
Life on the BPD 