poetry: healthy is not
I wrote this poem in October of 2022.
I thought that for once I had a healthy kind of love but I was wrong-
Healthy doesn’t carry lies, toning myself down, or accommodate in extremes
Healthy is not running from conflict or avoiding hard conversations
Healthy is not hiding the worst parts of myself because I’m too scared to be alone
Even now, I’m not sure what healthy is-but I didn’t have it with you
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Song of the Day 😪 “hold still right before we crash” 😪
poesÃa: envidia
here’s the english version of this poem:
todos nos envidian y me tiran indirectas y insultos
porque una generación nos separa,
porque dicen que no soy suficiente para ti
pero ellos no entienden que has sido el primero
en tratarme como un princesa,
el primero en amarme de verdad
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Song of the Day 😪 “I’ll be in denial” 😪
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poetry: Vow
I wrote this poem in October of 2022.
the nuns at Holy Spirit would be proud of me
if they saw me with my self imposed celibacy,
with the solitary confinement I’ve placed myself in
They’d mistake my vow of chastity
as me trying to get closer to the holy trinity
when it’s really me being dramatic
about my BPD recovery
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Song of the Day 😘”I’m still rising”😘
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poetry: Kailua Beach
Aqui esta la version en Espanol:
poesia: Aqui
walking along Kailua Beach-remembering the young and impulsive girl I once was
always jumping without looking, always falling in love without thinking
until one day, it all caught up with me and I was ostracized and had to leave
and 4 years later I’m back to the place that brought me so much trauma and chaos
and while I could dwell on my past wrongs and misdeeds
today I’m choosing to give grace and forgiveness to my younger self
who didn’t know any better, who was still discovering who she was
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ride a motorcycle
I’d love to ride a motorcycle for the first time in Oxapampa, Peru. It’s something that used to seem so scary to me but when I saw whole families riding motorcycles in Oxapampa in April on this year, I thought I want to do that. I’m sure I can make this happen on my next trip there.
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It’s me and my rage journal against the world. Let’s gooooo!
Song of the Day 😪 “I never strayed too far from the sidewalk” 😪
poetry: forever and always
I wrote this poem in October of 2022.
I no longer believe in always and forever
because everyone I’ve loved has always left
Or I’ve stopped loving them
always and forever is a fairytale programmed into me
when I was a young girl
It made me believe in the impossible dreams of true love and soul mates
the only thing love has ever brought me has been anger, sorrow, and self destruction
so my dreams of always and forever have burned to ashes
I bury in my poetry
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2004 me was art imitating life and writing about it in her college essays. 🤣🤣🤣🥳🥳🥳
Song of the Day 😪 “you don’t have to be sorry” 😪
poesia: Aqui
escribà este poema en 2003.
de nuevo estoy aquÃ
en el mismo sitio
De los dÃas de mi rebeldÃa
De los amores sin amor
De las aventuras sin cobardÃa
De los lazos que nunca existieron
De la soledad que me brindó tristeza
Y el amor
Que fue una mentira
Life on the BPD 