Poetry: Twenty Years Later

He looked at me like no oneโ€™s
ever looked at me
He kissed me with an unquenchable
passion unforeseen
And he touched me, my body
And my soul the way no one ever could
He hugged me tight enough so I felt
The entire essence of him, the past twenty years
Of everything we ever felt for each other
Twenty years of lust, obligations, lies,
Hatred, resentment, passion, memories, life,
And LOVE
In his arms I felt like I was me AGAIN

poetry: whack an asshole

I wrote this poem in June of 2024.

for real

I hope this story is buried for a final time
and you donโ€™t pop up again
and I have to play whack an asshole
once again
blocking you on yet another platform
would the universe be kind enough this time
for it to be good riddance forever
cause Iโ€™m tired of my past mistakes
to constantly come out of nowhere
to disturb my present

Poetry: The Monster of Insecurity

It dwells in the back of my mind-

Could this be too good to be true?

Will he need distance soon?

Insecurity takes over after finding

 something so sure.

Insecurity tells me Iโ€™m not good enough.

Insecurity tells me that I donโ€™t deserve him.

Insecurity tells me one day this will end

  and it will be absolutely devastating.

Recession-Proof: Staying Sharp When the Bottom Drops Out

Image by Freepik

Recession-Proof: Staying Sharp When the Bottom Drops Out by Ian Garza

When the economy tanks, the air changes. People move differently. You feel it in the supermarket aisle, where heads tilt at price tags like they’re trying to solve a riddle in a foreign language. Maybe youโ€™re there, pen hovering over a notebook, drafting your next pitch while wondering if peanut butter can be considered a luxury item now. Recessions have a way of pushing people into the deep end, but oddly, thatโ€™s where the best swimmers emerge. The trick is less about bracing for impact and more about learning to glide with the current. Here are seven ways to make the chaos work for you, journal in hand and mind on fire.

Cut Costs, Not Corners
You donโ€™t need to become a coupon-clipping caricature to start slicing your expenses with surgical precision. Start by conducting a cold, heartless audit of your monthly costsโ€”subscriptions, takeout, half-used gym membershipsโ€”and ask yourself which of them you’d defend in a court of law. Reallocate the scraps toward things that either earn money or preserve your sanity. Groceries, for instance, offer massive wiggle room if youโ€™re smart about what hits the cartโ€”save money on groceries by swapping brand loyalty for nutritional label scrutiny. Donโ€™t eat out of boredom or habit, eat with purpose. A recession isnโ€™t a punishment; itโ€™s a new set of rules, and frugality is a game you can win.

Skill Up or Ship Out
Those who thrive during downturns donโ€™t wait for job boards to dictate their worth. If your industryโ€™s shaking like a leaf, shift your gaze toward sectors that donโ€™t flinch when markets doโ€”healthcare, IT, education, logistics. Thereโ€™s a buffet of free online courses that can turn idle time into economic leverage. Learn Excel if you’re breathing. Pick up copywriting, coding, or UX design between episodes of that comfort show youโ€™ve already seen four times. Skills are portable power, and adding new ones doesnโ€™t just insulate your incomeโ€”it inflates your confidence. The job may not be instant, but the momentum is.

The Side Hustle Shuffle
You donโ€™t need to start a Shopify store selling ornamental cacti to qualify as an entrepreneur, but having a second income stream isnโ€™t a luxury anymoreโ€”itโ€™s a survival tactic. Whether itโ€™s reselling thrifted clothes or offering dog walking in your neighborhood, a side hustle doesnโ€™t have to be revolutionary. It just has to work. Take an honest inventory of what you’re good at and find the angleโ€”start a side hustle that fits into your existing life, not the other way around. It might start small, maybe laughably so, but consistency snowballs. One gig turns into a rhythm, and suddenly, your โ€œjust in caseโ€ income becomes your โ€œthank God I didโ€ lifeline.

Write It Out
Thereโ€™s something quietly defiant about writing things down when the world feels untethered. Journaling isnโ€™t about profound revelations or poetic flairโ€”itโ€™s about evidence. Document your spending, your mood, your micro-victories. Create a log of sanity that future-you will be grateful for. The benefits of journaling during tough economic spells are both psychological and strategicโ€”it can help you track your patterns, spot opportunities, and process fear without letting it drive. For writers, itโ€™s a gym session. For everyone else, itโ€™s cheap therapy that never talks back.

Invest in a Home Warranty
Nothing torpedoes a fragile budget like a busted HVAC or a rogue refrigerator. When repair costs punch a surprise hole in your wallet, having a home warranty isnโ€™t just smartโ€”itโ€™s protective armor. These plans can cover major systems and appliances, offering a reliable safety net when unexpected breakdowns hit. The key is picking coverage that doesnโ€™t just slap a Band-Aid on the issue. Find one that includes the removal of defective units and protects against breakdowns caused by botched repairs or sloppy installsโ€”this page is a good resource for comparing that kind of nuanced coverage. Youโ€™re not betting on things going wrong. Youโ€™re admitting they will, and preparing accordingly.

Community Over Chaos
Isolation is expensive, both emotionally and practically. Reaching out to neighbors, local groups, or church networks isn’t just good mannersโ€”itโ€™s fiscal strategy. Thereโ€™s a staggering array of local community resources offering everything from food distribution to financial counseling, yet many go untapped. Itโ€™s not charity. Itโ€™s infrastructureโ€”one that exists precisely for this kind of moment. Volunteering also doubles as networking. You help others while subtly reinforcing your own safety net, a win-win most spreadsheets canโ€™t quantify.

Mind Over Money
Financial fear corrodes slowly, eating away at confidence and sleep and even relationships. Address it like you would any other health issueโ€”diagnose, manage, treat. Donโ€™t ignore your stress or trivialize it. And donโ€™t obsessively refresh stock tickers or headline feeds. Use breathing techniques, therapy apps, and if needed, professional help. Learn how to manage financial stress in a way that doesnโ€™t involve locking yourself in a doomscroll loop until 2 a.m. The money part is real. The mental toll is realer. You need both ends intact if youโ€™re going to make it through with anything resembling grace.

Thereโ€™s no single blueprint for surviving a recession because recessions donโ€™t care about blueprints. They bulldoze predictability and force reinvention. But they also burn away distractions and push people toward clarity. Whether youโ€™re writing it out, hustling at night, or just trying to keep your fridge running without inviting financial ruin, the throughline remains the same: adapt with intention. You donโ€™t have to thrive every day. You just need to keep movingโ€”and that, on the worst days, is a kind of success all its own.

Discover the transformative power of poetry and personal storytelling at Life on the BPD, where creativity blooms and every verse is a step towards healing and empowerment.

poetry: jon benet lookalike

I wrote this poem in June of 2024. It was inspired by the disappearance of little Latina girl in my area that I didn’t feel was getting enough media attention.

it’s how this story made me feel

I pray for the little brown girl lost in Gainesville
the one thatโ€™s my sonโ€™s age
the one that looks like my sister at that age
the one who has my mamiโ€™s name
I pray sheโ€™s found alive
I pray that she finds warmth in her parents
arms soon
I pray more of a big deal is made out of
her disappearance
and sheโ€™s found quickly
because Iโ€™m sure that if this little girl
had been a jonbenet look alike
more would have been done to find her
and bring her back to her family
her community
thatโ€™s been missing her greatly

Poetry: Winning the War

I canโ€™t live without you another day
But I have to stay away
You are now part of my past
To you, I was another piece of ass
Even though I wish your love was mine
Without you, I will be just fine
Because no matter how weak I get
The memory of you, I must learn to forget
So with these few words I may win the war
On loving you no more

poetry: awkward

I wrote this poem in May of 2024.

I’m a classy bitch

Iโ€™m ready for steak dinners and an expensive bottle of chardonnay
shared over awkward getting to know you conversations
with no expectations to put out
Iโ€™ll be a completely different woman when Iโ€™m dating again
a woman selective about who allows near her
a woman who no longer seeks validation and attention
from the wrong men

Poetry : Changing

Somewhere in Athens

I saw him in a new light-

In the light of the most intoxicating feelings of love

I didnโ€™t want to at all-

But he made it all so easy-

Loving him is like breathing

I went from a bitter and depressed woman

filled with constant existential dread

to this new woman  filled 

with laughter and hope–

Maybe just maybe his love

cured the pessimist in me

Maybe just maybe his love

Changed me

poetry: glass of champagne

I wrote this poem in May of 2024.

a toast to this woman

a glass of champagne in my hand as I raise a toast
who I used to be
a woman mentally ill and needy
a woman who gave men easy access to her hips
a woman who thought intimacy could only be created
and felt in between her sheets
we say goodbye to the his woman lovingly
as we usher a new era of me
a woman who knows her worth
and wonโ€™t settle of anything less
than she deserves

Poetry: Border

me in the summer of 2019 when I wrote this poem

There is a border around you

Cemented with callousness

Every now and then 

I see glimpses of good-

Within you

But only on the nights

When you are drunk and lonely

Only the nights

When you want my skin 

To cover yours

You give me orgasms 

And sweet compliments

And fill me up with lies-

And the day after

Your border is closed

Its impenetrable

So hard to break through

So hard to keep loving you

So I give up

Every time I TRY

To chisel a little at it 

My heart hurts

and breaks a  little more

So I”ll stop trying to break through

No matter how happy you make me

For a few hours

Youโ€™re not worth

Days, weeks, and months 

Of misery 

poesรญa: maldita

escribi este poema en mayo del 2024.

siempre Diosa, siempre maldita

soy la poeta maldita del siglo 21
atormentada, depresiva, dramatica,
salvaje, sin vergรผenza, obsesionada
con la muerte
y las poetas malditas de siglos
antepasados
soy la peor pesadilla de esta sociedad
machista
me vestirรฉ con un aire rosado y dulce
pero de mi boca saldrรก una energรญa
feminista y salvaje
y me valdrรก madre incomodar a la gente
y no me importara del “que dirรกnโ€
y por eso me consideran
una arma maldita y peligrosa
en la sociedad

Poetry: Once Again

Again and again and again

-I let you back in 

You take me in passionately

    and intensely

And without thinking

Iโ€™m back in your arms

  And for the briefest of moments

I believe you love me 

 Loneliness makes one blind

To the sad reality 

You just like the convenience of my hips

Lust makes one blind 

To the hard truth

You just like to use 

The warmth of my body

To covers yours 

At your leisure 

poetry: rebranding

I wrote this poem in May of 2024.

soft girl energy

I look forward to the day when Iโ€™m no longer known as the writer with BPD
when I no longer make my mental illness a part of my brand
when Iโ€™m no longer dependent on my ex husband
and antipsychotics to survive
when I finally start to resemble something like a normal person
and not the vehement emotional mess I usually am

Poetry: False Stability *Trigger Warning*

The last time my ex fat shame me..

Appearances were kept well for 15 years

 the husband, the salaried job, the 3 offsprings

I pretended like everything was fine

And yet there were ominous signs

I never felt like my authentic self

and always felt false

I tried on this so called suburban bliss 

and mediocres routines

but knew it just wasnโ€™t me

So I ended up in  profound misery

And one day I wanted to forever sleep

To forget my mediocre reality

 I took 15 numb feeling pills

one for every pseudo happy year

I wanted to slip into a forever dream

to never wake to my false stability