I pay tribute to the women who came before me women who sacrificed so my parents could exist my mami who had to leave behind her culture, traditions, and language to give me a better life to make sure I grow up safe and well educated and taught me what strength and resilience means as she worked long days to make ends meet as she showed initiative to move our family forward and with her example I was able to follow it except I change it up some to live a life full of love, community and creativity
sueΓ±os olvidados vienen a mi mente mientras sufro de un episodio depresivo querΓa ser mucho mΓ‘s que esto una madre abrumadora tratando de dar lo mejor de ella pero todavΓa fracasando
not even a year has passed and thereβs an ocean between us desire and passion once shared evades us as we fall into an oblivion of obligations and routine
it was another boring night at work I was stuck on aisle 10 between stocking and my racing thoughts a 90s dance song comes on the speaker and just when Iβm about to sing I heard footsteps behind me I turned around and there he was- my favorite customer 5β10 ,curly black hair, full red lips and a body built by some Greek God he was looking at pots and pans I quickly turned my back to stock the tupperware and sneaked glances and admired him from afar hoped he didnβt notice me in my Kroger garb I looked like too much of hot mess to flirt but still my dead and jaded heart was resuscitated and my imagination took flight as fantasies of him surfaced to my mind and just as Iβm imagined our first kiss he approached me, -OH NO! of course he asked for a specific type of pan we didnβt have I told him no and apologized in my best customer service voice and he told me βno worriesβ as his voice cracked and walked away quickly and I wondered, am I imagining things, or is he also attracted to me?
nachos y queso son un poema de amor para mi estΓ³mago satisface mi antojo para algo salado mi lengua se despierta cuando el queso se derrite en mi boca y me mareo con jΓΊbilo y me vuelvo una vΓctima a mi glotonerΓa mi lengua se vuelve mΓ‘s avaricioso mientras que mi presiΓ³n arterial vuela y vuela hasta que mi corazΓ³n amenaza con explotar
August came and I hold onto the few slivers of hope left in me as I reach another rock bottom self correcting and not making myself a victim making sure Iβm better than yesterday Trying my best to control my emotions knowing that somewhere in the wash of this downward spiral will come the biggest silver lining
erotic stories from my ancestors are still seen in the caves and uncovered in archaeological digs people intertwined in every imaginable position- showing their sexual pleasure shamelessly- it makes the American and Colonizer catholic girl in me blush and say, damn, the Incas were some kinky people
me and my ex drive towards the moon in silence accepting we were always meant to be friends no longer harboring resentment about our failed story of romance Focusing on the long road ahead of us Divorced and raising kids in a world full of oxymorons, in a world that will try to make them fit into unrealistic expectations of what it means to be human me and my ex drive towards the moon in silence putting away our differences and any conflicts And putting our childrensβ best interest first understanding theyβre the best thing to come out of the failure of us
“this hurt that I’m holding’s getting heavy”-Conan Gray
after the thunderstorm came and went I wrote a hundred poems about what happened I didnβt know how to process it and 1 hour in therapy didnβt cut it the epic flood of grief that followed and while it may seem excessive and melodramatic It was either I kept writing or I kept dreaming of dying
me with my emotionally supportive squad who helped me fill out my divorce paperwork- Shoutout to Meg, who took tacos for payment as she filled out most of it and gave me advice…
youβre my small town Iβve outgrown but am afraid to leave no one seems to understand this theyβre concerned youβre holding me back theyβre concerned staying with you stiffens my dreams and while I know they want whatβs best for me and I agree with most of what they say How do I explain to them, itβs more complicated than Iβve made it out to be while you are hard to live with life without you feels almost empty and while itβs the right thing to do to end our marriage so we can move forward as a family itβs still hard to imagine a beginning without you
She wants to get away but her heart wonβt let her
She wants to stop loving him but everything in her refuses to do so
She doesnβt want to miss him but her body aches for him
He inspires a war within herself and just when she thinks sheβs won the war and they are done-finite-over He comes back to her with a 2 word text and she lets him back in
I channel the teenager that resides in me on days when Iβm about to lose my shit I daydream what it be like to allow the teenager in me to take over imagine going to the airport with my passport and escape to somewhere, anywhere Iβm free to be nobody where Iβm not a mom, a coworker, a daughter, a friend somewhere where I can relax and write flowery poetry about sunsets and trees instead of writing poems about capitalism, kids and big karen energy
this poem is inspired by a poem I wrote in 2006 about my first baby daddy.
he turned out just fine
He turned out fine without you in his life I understand now that it was for the best that you werenβt a part of his story I no longer hold resentment for you your replacement taught him all of the important things how to shave, how to drive compassion and kindness your replacement still checks up on him even though heβs a grown your replacement was never called Dad but your replacement is the only father heβs ever known