I’m looking forward to that pisco sour I’ll have after the judge declares me divorced and free to remarry -ha- that’s the biggest joke ever maybe I’ll land in someone’s bed once again But a ring on my finger -NEVER!- not in this lifetime, not as long as I breathe instead I’ll claim my single status And relish in it as long as I can
September comes in with a rage and determination in my heart to keep on moving with a new purpose to heal and evolve into the healthiest version of myself without condemning myself over my past misdeeds and obsessing over how toxic I once was so what if I allowed myself to be a doormat, to be stepped on over and over again? so what if I wasn’t the mom my kids deserved? Every day is a brand new start to live a life Intentionally and with purpose to continue to grow, build, and expand exponentially because while my past has impacted me and I’m still dealing with the consequences of it I need to move past it, leave it behind I’ve learned everything I need to learn from it now it’s time to build my present for the future I deserve to live in
maybe my alien will bring this kind of romantic energy
I’m curious about the aliens on earth and if they’re into NSA, telepathic sex the kind where I get to lie down and sleep, and they come into my dreams and make me have multiple orgasms Over and over again perhaps these are crazy thoughts from a middle-aged woman who’s been celibate for more than a year And is oh so thirsty for intimacy but can’t stand the thought of a man getting near me it makes me want to vomit at this point I’d take some extra terrestrial Out of the universe sex without any feelings involved the kind that fixes my craving for connection and intimacy the kind that doesn’t bring me another episode of psychosis
Flowers bloom with patience and care where there is sunlight and love Flowers remind me of relationships when relationships are not given the right environment or patience and love They die I’m a failure at both-
Gotta flex for my next ex let me post some thirst trap pic of my cleavage and add a profound quote about my self discovery journey but nothing too crazy I don’t want to scare him away
I wrote this poem about someone I haven’t met yet.
honest and real intimacy comes with the passage of time it comes with stupid and terrible fights Where love survives it comes with health scares and encouragement as each person evolves honest and real intimacy is not about consummated desire that happens between the sheets it’s not about butterflies and daydreams it’s about saying “Goddamn, this man is an oblivious and sometimes an arrogant asshole but I still want to keep him”
you love me anxious,insecure, and a hot mess and love to add fuel to my insecurities and fears to keep me with you, to control me and I try and try to break out of this toxic codependency tied up in a box of good intentions with your excuse that you know what’s best for me when it’s holding me back from realizing my potential from becoming the most powerful version of myself it makes me wonder did you ever really love me or did you choose me on purpose to build up your ego?
me and my boys-one of the major reasons I’m determined to be the strongest and most empowered woman in their lives
Our children pay attention to the stories we tell ourselves I noticed when my son’s heart broke for the first time and it awakened a deep catharsis within me I would no longer hold onto my victim story the one where I tell myself, “I’m worthless, I’m not good enough, I’m unlovable” Instead I’ll walk with confidence and all of the self love I can muster up for myself maybe just maybe if I can model this type of healthy behavior the cycle of generational self loathing and self destruction will finally be broken And my children has a chance of living a life filled with more joy and contentment than mental illness
“I can’t recall the last time I was kissed”-Lizzy McAlpine
I didn’t mean to, it wasn’t in my plans for self improvement But I fell for you in spring I don’t even know when it started to happen All I remember is absolutely hating it hated how soft and corny it made me hated how I started smiling at your messages hated how you started to melt my jadedness about love and how I finally felt like love was a possibility for me
I’m a lone brunette wolf in a world full of blonde sheep my exes always preferred blondes over me I never knew exactly why perhaps blondes really do have more fun perhaps blondes are easier to manipulate this used to bother me greatly, even robbed me of my sanity and sleep but eventually I had a great epiphany the one meant for me will not just love how sweet I can be He’ll also love and encourage the savage in me he’ll know how to ride the turbulent waves of my mood swings I’m not sure if I’ll meet him soon or if he even exists but after this grand epiphany I no longer care about my exes and their blonde sheep In fact, I wish them all the best fairytale ending
Stuck in between Spanish and English is a bilingual nightmare constantly switching between languages gives me a lifelong jaqueca and at times I don’t get it right it’s switching between two identities Latina or American it gets hard and confusing at times but it’s who I am Hablo con mamá en Español I speak to my sons in English Hablo con los pacientes en Español I speak to my coworkers in English and to code switch parece una comedia I’m told that I’m fun and loud en Español pero soy profesional y reservada in English eventually I learn to meld my American and Latina personalities and I find my most authentic bilingual and bicultural identity
does a scorpion sting when fighting back? -Taylor Swift
I overthink, I overthink and I overthink and my head hurts from so much anxiety Society puts so much pressure on me to be nice, to be pretty to be kind, to be smart the stress is tearing me apart but slowly I start to breathe and the pressure starts to decrease I change the narrative And stop with listening to my inner critic Fuck societal expectations so what if I’m an aberration the only person who determines my identity is me not you, not him,not my parents and not society