This is another poem about the bio dad of my oldest son. Obviously I had a lot of anger directed at him that I should have gone to therapy for but instead I just wrote a lot of angry poetry. Ha.
You don’t know him and chances are
You never will
You could’ve been somebody real in his life
But you BLEW IT!
So now is the time to say
Goodbye forever.
Here is the English version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/08/30/poetry-another-pathetic-guy/
escribo otro poema patético
acerca de otra idiota mas
no estaba impresionada
desde la primera conversación
con lo pretencioso que eras
pero todavía decidí en darte
una oportunidad
nunca pensé que me harías
sentir como una ignorante
Nunca sentí tanta repulsión
contra un hombre
Nunca habrá un futuro
entre los dos
Day 20 of doing a 31-day poetry prompt challenge. Today’s prompt is “Falling in Fall” .
I wrote this 2001 when I took a break from writing angry breakup poetry-lol. As an immigrant that grew up here, I’ve struggled with my identity for most of my life. Issues with identity are also another trait of BPD. I think this was a time in my life when I was especially reflecting on this part of my identity because I was become aware that men were fetishizing me.
Caught between two worlds
what am I made up of more
hopefully I won’t ever have to choose
sometimes I wish to just cut loose
Too Latina for the American side
Too Americanizada for the Latino side
So what is the politically correct term for someone like me?
Not American, not born here
Not fully Latina either
for I lack that latin allure
So I’ll call myself one of a kind
a girl with much Latin beauty and an American mind
like a delicious half and half cream
whose taste is an amazing mixed dream
Day 19 of doing a 31-day poetry prompt challenge. Today’s prompt is “Legends to Myths”
I wrote this poem in 2006 about my tumultuous relationship with writing. I love to write and it’s saved me more times than I can count. However, I tend to beat myself up if I’m not writing enough.
Instead of tears from eyes that long to spill,
I will spill words onto these pages.
Words that make sense,
Words that don’t make sense,
Many are in fact nonsense
I will let my emotions, the wind
And my surroundings guide me until
I fill up these pages
Full of nonsense, prose,
Poetry, ideas, and everything I can think of
This will be a new phase
this new phase will be full
of promise and potential
And it will also be full
of what I hope is the inspiration
that leads me to share my relationship
to the world.
this will be my fourth baby
Another one I will nurse and raise until it is
As beautiful and complete as my
real life ones.
This is the promise I make to
my pathetic little beast.
Day 18 of doing a 31-day poetry prompt challenge. Today’s prompt was “the trees narrate stories”.
Here is the English version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/12/15/poetry-scared/
Tengo miedo
que de nuevo se rompa
mi corazón
Estoy preocupado que algún día
me pares de amar
Estoy cansada después
de tantos mentirosos
tengo cuidado que de no
convertirme en una idiota
otra vez
Day 17 of doing a 31-day poetry prompt challenge. The prompt today is “Soulless Conundrum”.
I wrote this in 2006 after I was reflecting my first years of being a mother to my eldest child who I had at 17. Becoming a mother at such a young age didn’t make me the best parent and at times I still tried to act my age and party a lot even though I was a parent. It used to eat me up inside but I’ve come to terms that I did the best I could under the circumstances.
Late nights at the club
Drunk and dancing-you
Singing lullabies
Until he fell asleep-I
Getting ass from
an unknown stranger-you
Looking for monsters under the bed
and wishing them away-I
Waking up in an unknown place
With a helluva hangover-you
Waking up from little hands
Shaking my shoulders-I
You and I=me
Me =two different truths
About the way your childhood
Was seen
Day 16 of this doing this 31-day prompt poetry challenge. The prompt of today is “Never Again”.
Day 15 of doing a 31-day poetry prompt challenge. Today’s prompt is “Learning to Love Myself”.
Day 14 of doing a 31-day poetry prompt challenge . Today’s prompt is “Breathing in the Fire” .
For the English version of this poem, click on the link below:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/10/20/poem-racist-jerk/
Querido, lo que dijiste
me partió el alma
nunca pensé que eras un racista
no se si te pueda perdonar
quedarme contigo mataría mi alma
Lamento haberte conocido
Y me duele decirte
Tenemos que terminar
Nuestro cuento de amor
Te deseo lo mejor
Ojalá que algún día
Dejas tus prejuicios atrás
Day 13 of doing a 31-day poetry prompt challenge. Today’s prompt was, “On a Moonlit Stage”.
Life on the BPD 