Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: but we had fun

I wrote this poem in October of 2024.

we definitely had fun

moments from the past scatter into our present
you want to forget who we once were
while I try my best to make light of it
and say but we had fun
but you tell me, erase the poems,
forget the stories
Respectful I tell you “no”
we’re a story of redemption
that needs to be told
we’re something of a miracle
to still be standing here alive
and thriving
so while you want to forget
your story of villain and sinner
I advice you not to
own it babe, one day you’ll view it
as a testament of your resilience
and your own story of empowerment

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: 3 years ago

I wrote this poem in October of 2024.

determined and driven

3 years ago I took the wheel for the first time by myself
and there was no going to the dependent woman I once was
3 years ago I said fuck it, if I crash and die, it will be fine
after all I’ve been suicidal since I could remember
3 years ago I took the keys and landed in the driver’s seat
And from that day on, I understood the power I held within
and how never again I’ll give that power to others

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: how are you?

I wrote this poem in October of 2020.

hell yeah

He’ll ask me,
“How are you?
And I wanted to say–
“Miserable. Bad. sad. I hate you.
I wished for your death a thousand times.
I miss you. I love you.”
Instead, I said, “I’m okay”
And in the silence between our texts
I wondered
“Why? Why did he come back?
Why did I let him back in ?
Why do I love him?”

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: **trigger warning **nightmare

I wrote this poem in October of 2020. This one was really hard to post because of the content that includes sexual assault but I believe it’s important to share this part of my story.

so true

There was no way out-
and so I pretended –
I acted the part of a willful lover
even when I wasn’t willing

There was no way out
And he refused to read
-the subtle hints of no
-in between the lines of forced complacency

There was no way out
And he kept taking me
Every which way he wanted
Even when my whimpers turned into sobs

There was no way out
and I was terrified
I needed to let him have my body
to save my life

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: low rent version of Bennifer

I wrote this poem in October of 2024.

me and my ex

just call me J.Lo without the ass because my ex
(if we can even call him that) came back to me
after 2 years of sobriety
we’re the low rent version of Bennifer
since we’re not millionaires
or celebrities (yet)
I’m just a working class immigrant poet
and he’s my ex whatevership nordic muse

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: 2 years

I wrote this poem in October of 2020.

sometimes it be like that

He swallowed 2 years of my life without meaning to.
He swallowed 2 years of my love that he never intended to
He swallowed all of my intense and innermost feelings
and left me with an emptiness inside.
He swallowed my confidence and turned me into a broken shell of a woman.
And slowly I’m trying to gather the broken pieces and repair my soul–

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: I forgot

I wrote this poem in October of 2019.

exactly

There were parts of myself
I forgot when I was with you
I forgot my self worth
I forgot my dignity
I forgot my self confidence
I made the mistake
of placing my worth and happiness
in your unsure hands
I made the mistake
of giving you my heart
I made the mistake
of not knowing when to walk away
I made the mistake
in believing you would change
I made the mistake
of wasting my time and love
on you

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: committed

I wrote this poem in September of 2024.

what will be done with pure intentions and in alignment with my values
will nurture my creative spirit, will be the ultimate recipe for success
and will be a legacy of authenticity for future generations
Sometimes I wonder who I’m doing it for
and I find the answer when I look in the mirror
when I look at my sons
what I imagine my grandchildren
and I’m committed again to my life’s purpose

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: hold me close

I wrote this poem in September of 2022.

Hold me close to you and lie to me
about how you’ll never leave
and how you don’t mind that I’m crazy
I need to hear it while things are good
I need to believe it while you love me
I know all too well how every single one of love stories
Soon enough turn into epic tragedies
that take me years to heal from

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: salve

I wrote this poem in September of 2024.

me in my poetry community

telling our stories, reading our poetry
building community
is the salve for humanity
let’s start another revolution of love
except this time without the drugs
this time let’s make something more inclusive,
more accepting of everyone
let’s keep the music, the frolicking in the fields,
the free spirits,
and let’s become a sanctuary for one another
if we do this, we’ll have a shot at breaking away
from the curse of violence that plagues this nation

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: to really love me

I wrote this poem in September of 2022.

to really love me, you have to know every part of me
and not just the parts I show you
but every single inch of my soul
it’s observing me when I’m quiet
or when I laugh in the most uncomfortable moments
to really love me, you have to learn about me
read my essays, my stories, my poetry
and understand what is not written between the lines
to really love me, you have to know not just what I like
but what I really loathe and why
to really love me, you have to accept everything about me

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: hangover

I wrote this poem in September of 2022.

ew…I’m hungover sometime in 2020

my emotional hangover drains me
and anxiety and insecurity sets in –
He makes my heart race-
He inspires poetry
He’ll be another tragic love story
I know he’s not a “finally”
He’s more of a “maybe”
maybe he’ll leave , maybe he won’t
I wonder how he’ll grow tire of me

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: love poem

I wrote this poem in September of 2024.

the lovergirl in me manifesting to change my prophecy

there’s a love poem for me being written somewhere in the universe
and it will appear in the most unexpected way
it won’t be something forced, it won’t be something illicit or immoral
it will fit perfectly into my chaotic world of community and poetry
and while this man is bound to get on my nerves (like they all do)
He’ll be strong enough to withstand my nonsense and mood swings
He’ll be the lover daydream I’ve been waiting for since I was 15
and my kids with watch us and say “ew, cringe”

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: will you?

I wrote this poem in September of 2022.

Cringe

Will your light illuminate the dark and negative thoughts I have about love?
or will you be another one who fill me up with more self doubt
and makes me feel worthless
Will you really mean it when you tell me you love me?
or will you leave the minute I lose my shit?