Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: graduation

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

it’s time to reclaim the corny romantic in me

I’m graduating from writing about revenge and everyone who has harmed me
I’m switched this narrative from woman scorned and full of spite
To a woman reborned opened to love and joy in life
While it’s fun to be petty and mean
It’s better for me to reclaim the corny romantic in me
the one I’ve kept hidden for 18 months
the one who cries at the end of rom coms
the one who’s desperate to fall in love again
to continue this narrative about how I’m in love with my solitude
no longer suits me
when I have a universe of love to give

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: am I even your type?

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

I’m ridiculous when I have a crush….

am I reading too much into the attention and energy you’re giving me
the casual messages, the comments on my posts
the nervous vibe and the hug you gave me the first time we met
It felt like chemistry
Am I even your type?
Or is this the beginning of beautiful friendship
One that will last, one that will be healthy
Without the complications and expectations
that lust or love brings

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poetry: an open letter to year 42

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

me on my birthday last year, this heroine spent her birthday working…

I’m at year 42 and I’m only getting started on my heroine’s journey
I’ve learned so much about myself and my toxic patterns in year 41
I understand now how my overreactions, my need to avoid conflict
my need to please were all trauma responses learned from childhood
where my emotions were never validated
I now hold a world of knowledge, confidence, and power within me
and on year 42, I ready to act like the badass Incan Queen
I make myself out to be
Except this year I’ll act out of love and compassion
and not out of revenge and spite
even when I’m pissed, angry at someone or at something
I need to dig in deep and feel that grief
instead of immediately throwing out accusations
and blaming everyone but me
Understand it’s me projecting my insecurities
This year I’ll continue my heroine’s journey in healing and recovery
but I’ll try to do it more with grace, with intent and compassion
for myself and others
I’ll cover myself in love from God, the universe, and my ancestors
with all of that love act out of a pure and intentional energy
that will continue to help grow and evolve

Posted on by pattytacuri · 2 Comments

Last day of year 42.🥹🎉

It’s the end of Chapter 42 in my life story. While my life is far from ideal, I’m still grateful and feel incredibly blessed for this past year of growth. I think that two words that describe this year have been: community and bravery. I found community with friends, at open mic, online with other writers, and continue to strengthen my relationships with my sons. I also reconnected even more with my beautiful culture and homeland . I was brave this year in many ways, but I was very intentional about it. It was hard at times to do certain things and continue to find the willpower and determination to do them, but I did it. I’m not sure what chapter 43 has for me. I don’t have any big plans aside from writing my book and continuing to be my moody and creative Pisces self with an occasional ray of sunshine. It’s been a good year. 🥹🎉 #piscesseason #endof42 #birthdayweek https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3qBI13MkRN/?igsh=YWhxaWZjMHgycGJw

Posted on by pattytacuri · 6 Comments

poetry: emotional eater

I wrote this poem in February of 2020.

me in February of 2020.

Eating away my emotions with junk food and sugar
is healthier than meth and taking pills to sleep forever
Each bite I take and swallow keeps me alive
and further from a sweet death that tempts me
Food becomes the driving force behind my mediocre existence
until I can find a new obsession

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poetry: comfortable

I wrote this poem in February of 2020.

me in February of 2020

Comfortable will keep you locked
in loveless marriage
Comfortable will keep you trapped
in an easy and boring job
Comfortable will keep you miserable
in a mediocre life
Comfortable will keep you settling
for less than you deserve
Comfortable will find you one day
And make you swallow a bottle of pills
so you can sleep away
your comfortable and mediocre existence

 

Posted on by pattytacuri · 1 Comment

poetry: i’m finally ready

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

I got a blank space….and I’ll write your name

This time I feel like I’ve finally settled most of my soul’s score
by doing so much inner work
I still have toxic and angry moments but they no longer consume me
This year I’m manifesting a new kind of love energy
Someone who can match my wild and creative energy
Someone who values me as a whole person
and doesn’t just fall in lust with my body
Someone brave enough to love me and doesn’t scare easily
when I’m challenging and moody
this year I’m opening myself to love energy
who makes me laugh, who inspires me
I think I’m finally ready

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poetry: repurpose

I wrote this in February of 2019.

I bet Paul Steck had some demons

out of the most depressed minds comes the greatest creativity
I wonder why that is–
Is it because there are no limits in our imagination?
Is it because we live 100 lives in 1 lifetime?
Is it because we are easily inspired by devastation and loss?
It is because pain and sadness flows out of us
more easily than others and we have a necessity
to repurpose it as art?

Posted on by pattytacuri · 2 Comments

poetry: happy valentine’s day 2023

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

valentine’s day curse finally broke last year…

valentine’s day is around the corner
so we’re bombarded by teddy bears,balloons,
greetings with corny shit like
“for my wife, the love of my life”
and flowers, the fucking flowers
there are even journals for couples to fill out
in hope of getting closer-
I still can’t figure that one out
and stupid heart shaped everything,
from cookie cutters to pillows
and flowers, the fucking flowers
and most of us eat it all up thinking
if our partner doesn’t buy us anything
or doesn’t meet our romantic expectations
on the most materialistic of holidays,
then they must not really love us-
never occurring to us how this business of love
preys on us and our fear of being lonely
it capitalizes and profits from it
sending us messages that we need
to buy this or that (get the flowers,
the fucking flowers) to show our love
it’s a trap that followed us since our school days
maybe it’s time to riot and burn down anything
related to this dreadful holiday
especially the fucking flowers
or maybe I’m just a crazy and jaded bitch
alone on valentine’s day

Posted on by pattytacuri · 2 Comments

poetry: it stops with me

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

one of my reasons for doing all of the inner work

If only I could bypass the trauma lived and experienced
my life would be a lot easier
Perhaps I’d be fulfilled and not on this neverending heroine journey
to acknowledge how trauma happened to me
to understand how it changed me
to tells the stories from it so I can begin to heal from it
to do all of the work so I don’t pass it on to my sons
and their children
because this legacy of intergenerational silence with violence
needs to stop with me
even if it’s sometimes a painful nightmare to deal with

Posted on by pattytacuri

Nonsense

so this was written about a former muse.lol.

but of course….
Daily writing prompt
Are there any activities or hobbies you’ve outgrown or lost interest in over time?
View all responses

I love you like the alcoholic loves alcohol
I can’t live without you
And have a deep never ending desire for you
when the sun rises you’re my first thought
and before I fall asleep, you’re my last thought
I don’t know if you’ll ever reciprocate
but for now I’m content with seeing you almost
Daily-admiring you from afar

8/31/22

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: reassurance

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

exactly

I look to the cards for reassurance things will turn out alright
that I am doing all of the important things to light the flame to a bright future
that my past is now behind me and I will no longer be chained to it
that I’ll fully live in my present