aqui esta la version en espanol:
Poesia: Error
forgetting him will be your biggest regret one day
as you grow older, you’ll wonder about what could have been
if only you had found your courage
if only you hadn’t been so passive
and now it’s getting too late for you to be a father to him
the seeds of resentment are growing in him
the damage of your abandonment is irreparable
Aqui esta version en Espanol de este poema:
Poesia: Moriste Para Mi
You were another mistake made
another one I’m throwing in the land of the forgotten
another one who couldn’t appreciate the rare and precious gem
that I am
another one who’ll inspire poetry about how my heart broke once again
by trusting the wrong man
I used to live in a world full of regret, sorrow, and resentment
until I no longer wanted to live in misery
so I let go of everything and everyone that didn’t serve me
and held onto everything and everyone who helped me grow
and now I’ve blossomed with love, with purpose and for once
I’m full of happiness, calm, and serenity
And I finally feel free to love my life,
to love who I’ve become
I wrote this in July of 2022.
Morning rain makes me want to lay longer in bed
and listen to music and cry
cry about everything that could have been
but instead I get up and start my day
even try to get excited about it
because if I give in to my depression
for even one day
my inner critic wins
Here’s the English version of this poem:
Poetry: Extremely False
No me tomas en serio por ser pobre
piensas que solo soy buena para calentar tu cama
y me tratas como una muñeca que sacas solo para tu conveniencia
Esta estupidez para hoy porque encontré mi respeto y dignidad
He gastado demasiado de mi energia magica
En alguien que no puedes apreciar la diamante
que se presume enfrente de él
I wrote this poem in July of 2022.
I cloak myself in compassion and empathy with family and friends
but when it comes to myself-
I criticize and judge and tell myself I’m not worth it
But it’s time to turn this narrative around
I’m done, done, done
with being a self-loathing clown
and using self-deprecating humor doesn’t help me
it hinders my creativity and stops me
from unlocking the potential within
I wrote this poem in July of 2022.
love is a magnet for my insanity
love is a magnet for feeling worthless
love is magnet for everything wrong in me
so I locked the door to my heart with a padlock
and threw away the key
I can’t trust myself again to risk my vulnerability
I talk to God all the time-
when I sleep, when I wake up
when I work, when I write
when I run
I thank him for the wonderful life he’s bestowed on me
I ask him for grace when I’m petty and angry
I tell him his love makes me want to become a better mother
A better daughter, a better friend, a better me
because throughout my worst and most selfish moments
He’s given me signs of his love
with the people in my life
with the joy and happiness I find
with the light he shines on me in my darkest moments
I wrote this poem in July of 2022.
Delusion is believing this time it will be different ,it’s believing he’s not like the others and really gets you
It’s believing him when he tells you he loves you
when you know how this story always ends
Everything will be fine until one day it’s not
and within a few days
You go from lovers to strangers
Here’s the English Version of this poem:
Poetry: Pretending
¿Te haces el idiota o en serio estas ciego?
regresando a mi vida con un aire de indiferencia
como que aqui no paso nada
como que no me jodiste la vida
y te atreves a extenderme tu mano
como si fuéramos amigos
como si el tiempo mi hiciera olvidar el infierno de tu abandono
y como me dejaste solita para enfrentar las consecuencias
de nuestra irresponsabilidad
I wrote this poem in June of 2022.
The cure for a broken soul is finding love and validation
within yourself
It’s finding beauty in the ordinary
It’s finding joy in the mundane moments of life
The cure for a broken soul is finding faith and hope
in the most trying of times
and accepting the darkness within you is temporary
and not everything deserves your energy
The cure for a broken soul is acceptance and love
from the universe, the source and God
Here is the English version of this poem:
Poetry: Maybe One Day
Quizás tu no eres el hombre para mi
pero a lo mejor eres un vistazo de amor anticipado-
un amor que sepa manejarme sin controlarme
un amor que sepa apreciarme sin idolatrándome
un amor que sepa amarme sin mentiras
un amor de verdad
I wrote this poem in June of 2022.
I’m making amends with lovers and friends who’ve hurt me
holding this much resentment in feels heavy
And I’m tired of being a slave to past grudges
it feels like an eternal emotional blockage
So I’m filled with empathy and forgiveness
For those who’ve made me feel worthless
Because enough is really enough
and I’m tired of being fueled by hate
I wanna now be fueled by love
I wrote this poem in June of 2022.
The volcano that lived inside of me
is ready to erupt and about to ruin everything
my explosive anger cannot be reigned in
this intensity is a consequence of my BPD
and it will cause my lover to flee
the lava of me will make him wary
and once again, I’m left
in the desolate land of lonely
wishing away the volcano inside of me
I wrote this poem in June of 2022.
Feeling the fatigue of life makes me want lay down
in an endless sleep-
Some people call it suicidal ideation
I call it relief from grief-
But that’s when I use all of my coping skills
write sad poetry, or write a gratitude list
or just allow myself to feel everything
I’m trying to escape from
and constantly remind myself feelings like this
are always temporary
and tomorrow could bring new and exciting things to see
Life on the BPD 