me ignoras, me rechazas, me conviertes en nada- y trato de acercarme para revivir lo que tenÃamos pero tu me haces sentir como una idiota, una estupida me dices que no pasa nada y que estoy loca Y yo me siento atrapada porque no quiero quedarme sola
still haven’t found the one to have this heartwarming scene with…oh well
I make breakfast for me and my lover as he looks at me he’s surprised i know how to cook I’ve deceived him, lied that I didn’t know my way around the kitchen I didn’t want to ruin my bad girl image but for him I’ll uncover my domestic side, my feminine side the side that wants to take care of him
my final step in returning to myself was returning to my homeland once I finally found my stable sense of identity I had desperately searched for since I could remember- I felt like Alice in Wonderland my eyes wide open, my mouth opened in awe- taking in the glorious sights and sounds of my birthplace the 32 years away from it didn’t matter the ocean, the mountains, the city welcomed me back Reminding me it had always been there for me to come back to and the powerful and profound emotions I felt in standing on the ground that saw my birth and early childhood made me understand there really is no place like home
my soul commands me to slow down and listen in silence to what I need It tells me to not suppress anything-even it looks angry another mean and petty poem appears it’s okay, it’s shadow self needing to be seen it’s a part of my identity that doesn’t define me my soul tells me I’m not worst or best moments I’m more complicated than that I’m a woman full of trauma search for the calm in the chaos that is her life
Here’s a link to the English version that inspired this poem. The original poem was about the war in Afghanistan and the Spanish poem below is about Gaza.
staying sober from a lover is not easy for a love addict like me it’s crying in bed wishing I was dead it’s loneliness, making me crumble in a ball on the floor making me feel unloved and even though I have the cure with a text to someone who’d put me out of my misery I’d rather suffer for a while even if it is a hell of a withdrawal because if I’m ever going to have a healthy relationship I need to be comfortable first with solitude and the much needed introspection and healing it brings
the chaos within won’t let me sleep, won’t let me be- I worry and worry and worry about my kids, my bills, my productivity and I fall into the purgatory of what could have beens and of my many lost dreams and disappointment and depression covers me There was so much I wanted to be I am the opposite of the American Dream a woman dependent on her husband a woman stuck in the depths of her insecurities and anxiety who longs to escape from this self imposed stagnant mediocre reality