Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: uninhibited storytelling

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

me manifesting that one day I’ll be holding a book with my stories

middle age me is not seeking revenge on all who caused me trauma
I’m simply trying to make sense of the fuckery that happened to me
I’m simply trying to address the unhealed trauma that still lies
within me and haunts me in my dreams
I’m trying to process and understand that I never deserved any of it
I’m trying to get rid of that shame and guilt I’ve carried from it
and while sometimes that looks vindictive
I’m sorry but the only way to my journey in healing work
is through uninhibited storytelling

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: help her

I wrote this poem in February of 2025.

her help with her hair

help her find hope after becoming the worst version of herself
after getting herself entangled with men who did nothing
but hurt her

help her find grace after the fall from the altar of love
men placed her on and she turned into a monster
who resembled medusa

help her find a path to enlightenment and purpose
after she once again drowns in waves
nostalgia and grief over what could have been

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: your purpose

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

big Aquarius in Venus Energy

I’ve written dozens and dozens of poems about our story of lust and love
but today I found your purpose
with you I found inspiration and motivation to make myself better
hoping you could really love me
hoping you wouldn’t see me as just a sexual commodity
hoping to make myself worthy of you
and while now I see it was a delusion of mine
to do all of these things for your love
it still helped me to become better than before
it still brought me the resilience, strength and courage
to start living the life I always wanted to live
and plan the future I had always dreamed of
with you and after you-
I became the empowered woman I am today
and for that I thank you

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: looking

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

ready to live this kind of story

I’m looking for the rhythm of a new heartbeat to fall in love with
A heartbeat that goes with the flow of my intense intimacy
A heartbeat who doesn’t call me angel or princess
only calls me by my name
a heartbeat who’ll fall in love with the real me
and not the idea they have of me
or the persona I play on social media
A heartbeat who can handle my crazy and chaos
A heartbeat who accepts and understands me
and never tries to change me

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: next time

I wrote this poem in February of 2022.

next time, next time, next time
I won’t live in the should haves,
could haves, would haves

next time, next time, next time
I’ll live in my present
and not in my past or future

next time, next time, next time
I won’t feel useless, worthless
or like I’m not enough

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: the fairy tale died that day

I wrote this poem in February of 2022.

I’m pregnant, it’s yours, I want to keep it
I start crying
“Just get rid of it you tell me
he fairytale died that day

I’m at your apartment drunk
And you;re drunk, we fight, then we kiss
And you take me in-but then you feel guilt
And kick me out I
The fairytale died that day

I’m at your apartment
I want to hold you and kiss you
I yearn for you
You imply I can’t be trusted
The fairytale died that day

Posted on by pattytacuri

poesia: incertidumbre

escribi este poems en febrero del 2025.

verdad

la incertidumbre ha sido mi lección más grande en mis últimos 5 años
Nunca sabiendo qué hacer cuando un terremoto emocional
me va a sacudir violentamente
tratando de buscar propósito por el dolor y el duelo
tratando de hacer arte de esto
Algunos dicen que era alquimia y magia
pero yo pienso que alguna palabra o concepto
que todavía no ha sido descubierto

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: don’t fall in love with me

I wrote this poem in February of 2022.

Don’t fall in love with me he said to me
right after he got off from me
he wanted to make sure I didn’t get the wrong idea
So he dotted his I’s and T’s of casual fucking
And I didn’t go into a love hysteria
But it was already too late
My intense emotions couldn’t wait
“I love him, he’s my love king”
I was already thinking
the truth is
No one can control a borderline’s mind
And it’s not his fault of mine
that I catch feelings easily
even when you use me sexually
It won’t matter what you say
My mind won’t be swayed

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: winds of defiance

I wrote this in February of 2021.

The winds of defiance rules my heart
I love someone I shouldn’t
Who stirs up hate and love
within me
I feel underwhelmed
by everything wonderful
in my life
The winds of defiance rule my heart
And I shouldn’t want to run
from my beautiful lover
and yet I want to
And I desire danger and intensity
even if what I really need
is peace and calm

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: mason

I wrote this poem in January of 2022.

oh Mason

Mason like the jar was his name
being a fuckboy was his game
He tried to act wise beyond his 23 years
But he was still wet behind his ears
He thought he could deceive me
and lies and lies and lies he told me
told me he lived with a roommate
when it was really his soul mate
He wanted his ice cream and cake
but I saw through his con game
And right away I stopped our lust filled affair
My respect I needed to firmly declare

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: getting to reality

I wrote this poem in January of 2022.

self love is sexy

I fall in love easily
Reckless without abandon
Wanting to give him
My everything
This is my fairytale
I am sixteen

I fall in love with caution,
with time, with patience
with acceptance
Wanting to give him
My forever
This is my fairytale
I am 23

I fall in love immediately
Impulsively, sexually
Wanting to give him a love
he’s never known before
This is my fairy tale
I am 37

I fall in love with laughter,
With dancing, with practicality
I want to give him my life
This is my fairytale
I am 39

I fall in love with my body
With my creativity, with my resilience
I want to pour all the love I have
Into myself
I am 40
This is my reality

Posted on by pattytacuri

Poetry: Sanity

I wrote this poem in January of 2018 .

me in 2018 around the time I wrote this poem

I’m disappointed once again -being here with you
You represent everything I thought I wanted
But-
You don’t compare to him
You make my body sing with pleasure
but don’t sweep up the mess that I am
You are there to help me escape
but never to rescue me
SO I choose him
Who chooses to be there for me
When I chase death in a bathtub or a bottle
Because while sex and lust feels good
when it’s happening
It doesn’t compare to the love
and support he’s provided in keeping me alive
So I say goodbye to a life
Full of lust filled fantasies
and accept the one and only who truly
cares for me

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: invisible string

I wrote this poem in January of 2025.

this poem has to be one of the most unhinged things I’ve ever written

My past called to me and I made the mistake of answering it
and looked for the former main characters in my life
Stalked them on google and social media
and most of them didn’t want to be found
perhaps they did the right thing in wanting to live their lives
in peace without their ghosts haunting them
but two of the ones who had the great impact on me
both of them are happily married
one of them has a son my youngest son’s age
I’m glad he grew out of his peter pan syndrome
and the other is about to finally become a dad at 43
his lifelong dream come true after waiting for so long
I’m trying to be happy for him
and with all that I’m ready to really close that chapter
On my past because while I was distracted from my grief
And highly entertained by my theatrics and my shitty choices in men
when I was in my twenties
Its time to stop this business of reminiscing of what was
and what could have been
Its time to accept what is and what could be
and focus on making my own lifelong dreams come true
And be open to my invisible string out there somewhere
waiting for me