poetry: haunted

I wrote this poem in March of 2020.

I don’t want him to be a part of me-
And yet he appears
in my mind, my dreams, my poetry
He doesn’t deserve any amount of space
he comes to occupy in my life
And within me
-and yet he comes and stays
I tell him to go away
Stay away, and forget about me-
But it never happens that way
He consumes every bit of me
and it’s a lost cause to get him out out of me

From Overwhelmed to In Control:Techniques for Managing Everyday Stress

From Overwhelmed to In Control:
Techniques for Managing Everyday Stress by Julia Mitchell

Photo by Freepik

In today’s fast-paced world, stress has become an unwelcome companion for many of us, often creeping into our lives when we least expect it. Whether it stems from our professional responsibilities, personal relationships, or the myriad of challenges that daily life presents, understanding and managing stress is crucial for maintaining our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. This guide from Life on the BPD aims to shed light on the common stressors that pervade our lives, offering insights on how to identify them and practical strategies for handling these pressures effectively. 

Understand Your Stress

Carving out time for reflection is crucial for identifying the root causes of your stress. By setting aside moments each day or week to acknowledge instances when you felt overwhelmed, you can gain insights into what triggers your stress responses. This understanding is foundational, as it guides you toward effective stress management strategies. Reflecting on your experiences not only sheds light on the sources of your stress but also helps you recognize patterns and triggers, making it easier to address them moving forward.

Embrace Mindfulness

Mindfulness serves as a stabilizing force amidst the tumultuous waves of stress. Practices such as deep breathing exercises and meditation offer refuge by anchoring you in the present moment. This focus on the here and now acts as a buffer against the chaos of stress, providing a sense of calm and clarity. By integrating mindfulness into your daily routine, you can develop a resilient mindset that is better equipped to handle stress, ensuring that you remain centered and balanced even in challenging times.

Establish Boundaries for Stress Reduction

Setting clear boundaries is essential in safeguarding your mental health. By defining limits in work, relationships, and personal commitments, you can prevent stress from encroaching on your well-being. This practice helps in managing expectations and commitments, ensuring that your time and energy are spent on what truly matters. Establishing boundaries empowers you to navigate life with more ease and less stress, promoting a healthier and more balanced lifestyle.

Lean Into Physical Activity

Physical activity is a potent tool in the fight against stress. Engaging in exercises, whether it’s a brisk walk, yoga, or a session at the gym, can significantly relieve tension. The physical exertion releases endorphins, improving your mood and reducing stress. Regular physical activity not only benefits your physical health but also acts as a therapeutic release for emotional and psychological stress, contributing to overall well-being.

Explore Alternative Stress Relief Methods

Diverse approaches to stress management can offer fresh perspectives and solutions. Techniques such as yoga, acupuncture, and guided imagery provide unique pathways to relaxation and mental clarity. 

  • Yoga: Practicing yoga combines physical postures, breathing exercises, and meditation to reduce stress and enhance overall well-being. Yoga helps release tension in the body, while the meditative aspects can improve mental clarity and reduce anxiety.
  • Acupuncture: This ancient Chinese medicine technique involves inserting thin needles into specific points on the body to balance energy flow. It can help reduce stress by promoting relaxation, decreasing the body’s production of stress hormones, and improving sleep quality.
  • THCa (Tetrahydrocannabinolic Acid): THCa, a non-psychoactive precursor to THC found in available forms of THCa in raw cannabis, has been shown to have anti-inflammatory and neuroprotective effects. Its potential to reduce stress comes from its ability to modulate the body’s endocannabinoid system, which plays a key role in regulating mood and stress responses.
  • Ashwagandha: This herb, used in Ayurvedic medicine for centuries, is known for its adaptogenic properties, helping the body manage stress more effectively. Ashwagandha can lower cortisol levels, enhance brain function, and improve sleep patterns, making it a powerful tool for combating stress and anxiety.

Exploring these alternatives can uncover new methods to alleviate stress, catering to individual preferences and needs. By being open to different therapies, you can find the most effective and enjoyable ways to maintain your mental well-being, enhancing your ability to cope with stress.

The Importance of Social Support

Sharing your struggles with stress can be incredibly therapeutic. Opening up to trusted individuals creates a support network that can offer comfort and advice. This act of vulnerability can illuminate both the sources of your stress and potential solutions, making the burden easier to bear. The support of friends, family, or professionals not only provides emotional relief but also strengthens your resilience, making you better equipped to manage stress.

As we journey through the complexities of life, embracing a holistic approach to managing stress can lead to a more fulfilling and balanced existence. By identifying the sources of our stress and exploring both traditional and alternative methods for addressing them, we empower ourselves to navigate life’s ups and downs with grace and resilience. Remember, managing stress is not about eliminating challenges from our lives but about enhancing our ability to cope with them. With patience, practice, and persistence, we can transform our relationship with stress, turning our experiences into opportunities for growth and self-discovery. 

Join the journey at Life on the BPD, where trauma is turned into triumph. Dive deep into stories that resonate, learn from shared experiences, and become part of a community that embraces growth and healing. 

poetry: my anger walks in

I wrote this poem in March of 2023.

watch out when I have this look on my face…lol

my anger walks in and I feel an earthquake within
and I become the saltiest bitch
Writing poetry about anyone who’s wronged me
but then again it is entertaining
Seeing how mean and petty I can be
It’s not like I’m vindictive or seeking out revenge
most of these new angry poems won’t be shared with the world
it will be kept inside the pages of my notebooks and journals
I just need to let it out and scream
Fuck you, fuck him, fuck her, fuck the world, fuck everything
Before I take it out on anybody
before I post something stupid and cringy I’ll regret later
before I allow the world to know how I’m burning

poetry: mother of three

I wrote this in February of 2019

I’m still asking myself this question

Mother of three
What does that even mean?
Responsibilities, obligations, duties
Alcohol and going out are taboo for me

Songs of sacrifices and martyrdom
Are the tunes I hum
Dinner with friends and late
Night concerts are just WRONG!

Soccer games and play dates
Are my important dates
No time to spend
With my lifetime mates?

Mother of three,
Will I ever be free?

poetry: i’m finally ready

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

I got a blank space….and I’ll write your name

This time I feel like I’ve finally settled most of my soul’s score
by doing so much inner work
I still have toxic and angry moments but they no longer consume me
This year I’m manifesting a new kind of love energy
Someone who can match my wild and creative energy
Someone who values me as a whole person
and doesn’t just fall in lust with my body
Someone brave enough to love me and doesn’t scare easily
when I’m challenging and moody
this year I’m opening myself to love energy
who makes me laugh, who inspires me
I think I’m finally ready

poetry: repurpose

I wrote this in February of 2019.

I bet Paul Steck had some demons

out of the most depressed minds comes the greatest creativity
I wonder why that is–
Is it because there are no limits in our imagination?
Is it because we live 100 lives in 1 lifetime?
Is it because we are easily inspired by devastation and loss?
It is because pain and sadness flows out of us
more easily than others and we have a necessity
to repurpose it as art?

poetry: happy valentine’s day 2023

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

valentine’s day curse finally broke last year…

valentine’s day is around the corner
so we’re bombarded by teddy bears,balloons,
greetings with corny shit like
“for my wife, the love of my life”
and flowers, the fucking flowers
there are even journals for couples to fill out
in hope of getting closer-
I still can’t figure that one out
and stupid heart shaped everything,
from cookie cutters to pillows
and flowers, the fucking flowers
and most of us eat it all up thinking
if our partner doesn’t buy us anything
or doesn’t meet our romantic expectations
on the most materialistic of holidays,
then they must not really love us-
never occurring to us how this business of love
preys on us and our fear of being lonely
it capitalizes and profits from it
sending us messages that we need
to buy this or that (get the flowers,
the fucking flowers) to show our love
it’s a trap that followed us since our school days
maybe it’s time to riot and burn down anything
related to this dreadful holiday
especially the fucking flowers
or maybe I’m just a crazy and jaded bitch
alone on valentine’s day

poetry: unraveling

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

I’m unravelling…one pose at at time

I’m healing and unraveling at the same time
I’m unraveling the parts of me that no longer fit
in my new narrative
I’m unraveling the ugliness, my vengeful spirit
full of spite and jealousy
talking to it, deconstructing it
cause to live with so much anger and resentment
in my heart is draining
and leaves no room for lovely and hopeful beginnings

So many goals so little time

Fr fr

Something on your “to-do list” that never gets done.

My goals for 2024

So my time is limited because of my crazy working hours, but something that keeps getting pushed to the back burner are my taxes from last year. I freaked out last year because haha I have to pay back an obscene amount ( welcome to middle class status in America), so I basically ignored them, and now here I am in a new tax year but now filing in a different status cause of my divorce. The good thing is that my oldest just got his A.A in accounting so he’ll do them for me this month or next. I’m good with the turbo tax software, but my situation feels like beyond my comprehension, so I’ll let an expert do it. Something I also need to do is spend more time with my 2 youngest sons. It is hard because my youngest likes to spend more time with his friends, and my other son has particular interests, which include discussing the state of world affairs and watching depressing foreign films. But yeah, I need to work on my relationship with both of them. I even suggested playing fortnight with my youngest, but he told me it was cringe and I’m too old. Lol. I hope this time next month, I’m done with my taxes and find ways to bond my sons.

poetry: charade of love

I wrote a version of this poem in 2005. It was about my frustration with the relationship I was in at the time.

Drown in passion
Drown in passion

I’m hanging on to my last thread of sanity
trying to accommodate to our new reality
I know monotony happens even in the best relationships
but this feels like the death of our love
Where did your yearning for me go?
You used to worship me and call me Godly
now I can barely get you to look at me
and when I say anything, you call me crazy
so I’m going to swallow my words
and pretend I’m okay with this charade of love

poetry: i really mean it

I wrote this poem in January of 2023.

having crushes in your middle age is so CRINGE

Cry in front of me and show me your vulnerable side
I won’t run away or shame you for sharing your pain
I understand what it’s like to be left alone
when you start to drown in your emotions
and you reach for someone and that person
turns you away
I will never be that callous
when I say you can be safe with me,
I really mean it

poetry: same,kid,same

I wrote this poem in January of 2023.

the moment that inspired this poem

They laid him on my breast and told me,
“Meet your baby boy” and I was in shock
the alien on top of me is mine?
this wasn’t supposed to be part of my adolescence
I’m only seventeen and some days I barely remember
to brush my teeth
and now I have this great responsibility
and his beady and angry eyes questions
as to why his comfort was disturb-he already hates the world
and I think , same, kid, same