poetry: cesspool

I wrote this poem in March of 2019.

Feeling hopeless in a cesspool of a world
That will never accept you
-for your skin color
-for your accent
-for your nationality
-for your religion or lack of one
-for your independent thought
Anything that doesnโ€™t fit the image
of white and Christian is blasphemous
To be an โ€œotherโ€ is to carry the weight of racism,
discrimination, xenophobia
All the phobias on your already burdened shoulders
So they try to kill us with actual guns Or
metaphorical ones of insults,rejections or looks of disgust.

poetry: soldier

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

Iโ€™m soldier of love
too lost battles for me to count and recount
how many times Iโ€™ve had to stitch my heart over and over again
from the many knives past lovers have stabbed me with
with the last one, I almost lost all hope for love
It made me lose my sanity and almost gave me PTSD
Still the romantic in me refused to die
and resurfaced this year
Told me, โ€œthis time it will be different, this time you have self respect
and youโ€™ll be choosy over whoโ€™s worthy of your love energyโ€

poetry: scattered memories

I wrote this poem in February of 2025.

me with my youngest self

scattered memories of you and I are tossed into the bonfire
pictures, poems, and letters never sent burn and burn
and I watch understanding this is our closure
and our chapter is finally closed
and I needed the bonfire and a final curtain call
on an early February night to put us behind

poetry: dangerous

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

this is a dangerous road Iโ€™m traveling on
smiling at your messages
Creating a playlist inspired by you
romanticizing every interaction we have
liking every single one of your posts
Wondering if youโ€™re safe enough
To get to know you
beyond the walls of this simple friendship

poetry: pleas

I wrote this poem in February of 2025.

my pleas for love fall on the deaf ears of the universe
I scoff and get angry with her
Wondering whatโ€™s left to heal
whatโ€™s left for closure
whatโ€™s wrong with me that I need to fix in order
to attract someone to love for the crazy, creative
and complex woman that I am

poetry: one day

I wrote this poem of February of 2025.

dreaming my future love into existence

one day Iโ€™ll meet a man who wonโ€™t be afraid to take my hand
and declare his love for me in public

one day Iโ€™ll meet a man who wonโ€™t have eyes for another body
other than mine

One day Iโ€™ll meet a man whose values aligns with mine

One day Iโ€™ll meet a man whoโ€™s always looking for ways
to evolve and better himself

One day Iโ€™ll meet a man who wonโ€™t run away from his emotions
and confront them head on even when it hurts

one day Iโ€™ll meet a man whoโ€™ll want to make me his
for the rest of his life without blinking an eye

and say Iโ€™m one the best things thatโ€™s ever happened to him

poetry: all worth it

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

Iโ€™d never say I lost time with any of my love stories-
they all taught me something about myself
They all inspired me to write poetry
and two of them help me create my three kings
even if some of my love stories left me decimated
and almost destroyed me
they were all worthy for the love I felt
the growth and progress I had

poetry:next valentine’s day

I wrote this poem in February of 2025.

tried to manifest a Luigi this time last year

next valentineโ€™s day I want to be calm especially if Iโ€™m still alone
I want my nervous system to be ultra regulated and not the mess
it currently is

next valentineโ€™s day I donโ€™t want to entertain vengeful fantasies
of getting my baseball bat to scare couples in the middle
of their romantic dinner

Next valentineโ€™s day I donโ€™t to keep playing the role of bitter,jaded,
and lonely bitch who allows herself to become a wreck
at the mere mention of romantic love

Next valentineโ€™s day Iโ€™m rewriting the script of grief stricken lonely girl
and will make it a day that will reflect on all of the love I have in my life

poetry: looking

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

ready to live this kind of story

Iโ€™m looking for the rhythm of a new heartbeat to fall in love with
A heartbeat that goes with the flow of my intense intimacy
A heartbeat who doesnโ€™t call me angel or princess
only calls me by my name
a heartbeat whoโ€™ll fall in love with the real me
and not the idea they have of me
or the persona I play on social media
A heartbeat who can handle my crazy and chaos
A heartbeat who accepts and understands me
and never tries to change me

poetry: next time

I wrote this poem in February of 2022.

next time, next time, next time
I wonโ€™t live in the should haves,
could haves, would haves

next time, next time, next time
Iโ€™ll live in my present
and not in my past or future

next time, next time, next time
I wonโ€™t feel useless, worthless
or like Iโ€™m not enough

poetry: mason

I wrote this poem in January of 2022.

oh Mason

Mason like the jar was his name
being a fuckboy was his game
He tried to act wise beyond his 23 years
But he was still wet behind his ears
He thought he could deceive me
and lies and lies and lies he told me
told me he lived with a roommate
when it was really his soul mate
He wanted his ice cream and cake
but I saw through his con game
And right away I stopped our lust filled affair
My respect I needed to firmly declare