I give my pain and sorrow to God and it lessens the heaviness in my soul and Iβve never felt lighter and I laugh more and feel content and gratitude and I no longer want to die Instead Iβm excited to live Iβm excited about my wrinkles and every birthday because Iβm finally enjoying the gift of life God has bestowed on me
even in our middle age, our mami still tends to us calling us, asking about our eating habits and love life giving bits of wisdom and encouragement still worrying about us she doesnβt have to but itβs her nature to do so itβs a habit of almost half a century thatβs hard to break itβs a tradition of an unconditional motherβs love
you told me Iβm not wife material so you dropped me like I was nothing but not before you took me to your bed a few times but not before filling my head with the illusion that you wanted a future with me- Are you sick in the head? Is this how you always operate? Finding an insecure girl to get your primal needs met and later on dropping them like a bad habit
The emotional scars are starting to fade As Iβm starting a new phase A phase full of love and laughter A phase full of introspection and humility and while Iβm alone as I start this phase Iβm happier and healthier Iβve taken off all of my masks Iβve discarded my need to be loved and accepted This is my era One where I finally allow myself To let others see the real me
I was trapped in a mental cage of misery I didnβt know how to rewrite my story and while poetry helped me it was with grief and therapy I finally felt free I learned to let go of old resentments and grudges and healed old emotional bruises and while I still have minor annoyances my anger and angst no longer control me
If you inspire me consider it a gift it means youβve made an impact on me sure my words may feel angry but thatβs just me processing because I have the most painful mental illness and writing angry poems is how I deal with it if you become my muse I must have felt something for you could be hate or love if youβre lucky, itβs both that means youβll be bestowed with endless poetry about you
forgetting him will be your biggest regret one day as you grow older, youβll wonder about what could have been if only you had found your courage if only you hadnβt been so passive and now itβs getting too late for you to be a father to him the seeds of resentment are growing in him the damage of your abandonment is irreparable
No todo sale bien siempre Pierdes amantes, puedes amistades lo importante es que tu no te abandones lo importante es que tu sigas amandote porque los demΓ‘s no importan ellos agregas a tu vida mientras tu la completas
My future is a sky blue and full of potential Now that Iβve walked away from anyone or anything that limited me Iβve let go of any grief I held within Iβve embrace my crazy and now let it out creatively Is this the beginning of a new me? Am I finally the person I was always meant to be?
I cloak myself in compassion and empathy with family and friends but when it comes to myself- I criticize and judge and tell myself Iβm not worth it But itβs time to turn this narrative around Iβm done, done, done with being a self-loathing clown and using self-deprecating humor doesnβt help me it hinders my creativity and stops me from unlocking the potential within
I talk to God all the time- when I sleep, when I wake up when I work, when I write when I run I thank him for the wonderful life heβs bestowed on me I ask him for grace when Iβm petty and angry I tell him his love makes me want to become a better mother A better daughter, a better friend, a better me because throughout my worst and most selfish moments Heβs given me signs of his love with the people in my life with the joy and happiness I find with the light he shines on me in my darkest moments
This is a poem I wrote in July. I was angry when I wrote it. Lol.
me on the 4th of July with my kiddo
celebrating a country that rips babies apart from their parents and takes away rights from the marginalized and makes anyone whoβs not white and christian feel unwelcome feels like the cruelest irony itβs celebrating genocide, racism, prejudice, xenophobia, and white supremacy itβs celebrating everything atrocious and wrong about this country it almost feels like a personal violation of my beliefs to celebrate the hypocrisy of this country founded on genocide and slavery who claims liberty and justice for all but βallβ is really white, christian and male so Iβm passing on this yearβs 4th of July celebrations because except for a small portion of Americans no one can claim true freedom or independence in this American Land
The cure for a broken soul is finding love and validation within yourself Itβs finding beauty in the ordinary Itβs finding joy in the mundane moments of life The cure for a broken soul is finding faith and hope in the most trying of times and accepting the darkness within you is temporary and not everything deserves your energy The cure for a broken soul is acceptance and love from the universe, the source and God