poetry: by the fireside

I wrote this poem in April of 2022.

corazon, no puedo dejar de pensar en ti-Selena

by the fireside I fall in love again and this time I’m sure
because before I met him I knew I was enough
before I met him I knew I was complete
before he was even a thought in my mind
he knew all about me
before I knew anything about him
he’s read my poetry
and nothing I’ve written scares him
to him I’m more than a pretty girl
to him I’m more than my diagnosis
to him I’m more than my chaotic past
because unlike the others, he sees my humanity
he sees my perseverance and resilience
and to him, I’ve become his everything

poesΓ­a: reina

escribΓ­ este poema en abril del 2023.

siempre fui una reina

mi empoderamiento no fue un proceso fΓ‘cil-
tuve que deshacerme de la nociΓ³n
que alguien me complementaria, me salvarΓ­a
tuve que enfrentar mis fuertes miedos e inseguridades
y tuve que llenarme con un gran amor a mi misma
que siempre reservaba para otras personas
y aunque a veces me querΓ­a rendir-nunca pare
seguΓ­ adelante con un fuego dentro de mi
que se rehusaba a apagarse
me prendia la luz del camino cuando la oscuridad
de mi depresiΓ³n querΓ­a ganar
y despuΓ©s de dos aΓ±os ahora por fin
Reconozco la reina que siempre fui
la que reciΓ©n le doy una oportunidad de respirar, vivir
y triunfar

poetry: reminder

I wrote this poem in April of 2022.

from Charmin to alarmin in seconds- Noah Kahan

Dear future heartbroken me,
Sometimes it won’t be you or even him
Sometimes things don’t work out
It’s nothing to be obsessed about
Sometimes love isn’t enough
It doesn’t mean you’re not enough
Sometimes things end abruptly
and it’s not the end of your story
and sometimes you learn from it
And most of the time
it will serve to change your narrative

poetry: unnerving

I wrote this poem in april of 2023.

from short hikes in Athens in 2021 to treacherous 5 mile hikes in Oxapampa in April 2023-it’s all unnerving

I put my insecurities and fears on display for the world to see
it’s a most arduous task-it’s not for the weak
at first I thought it was crazy
it was me trying to get attention
it was me seeking validation
and while it may have been these things
it was also brave, courageous
to be so radically honest
about what unnerves me
It’s how I’ve been able to heal
and claim my identity

poetry: message

I wrote this poem in april of 2023.

me looking out at the sunset in Lima

a red bird appeared to me in a dream
it carried the spirit of an ancestor I had never known
he told me to not get too comfortable in my current life
while it’s been a good life and I keep thriving
and making my dreams come true
I have even more room for improvement
my purpose is bigger than I’ve ever dreamed of
and through my storytelling
I will not just heal myself but help others
find their own path in their hero’s journey

poetry: heart of a lioness

I wrote this poem in april of 2023.

I look calm but inside of me lies the heart of a leona

my protective instinct rings loudly in me
I will protect everyone I love no matter what
even if I have to die for them to be safe
even if I have to leave them alone for them to have peace
of mind
their well being means everything to me
inside of me lies the heart of a lioness ready to roar
ready to protect everyone she loves

poetry: we all fuck up

I wrote this poem in April of 2023.

me in Oxapampa in April of 2023

we all fuck up from time to time and have to remind ourselves
we are not our worst mistakes, our terrible breakups, or our emotional relapses
to be human is to make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes will feel catastrophic
and that’s when your inner critic with the help of shame and guilt will step in
trying to make you feel like a piece of shit, worthless and useless when it comes to everything
acknowledge it, honor it if you have to but don’t get stuck in it
because this is not the entirety of you
this is just a small fraction of your being-
don’t get caught up in the worst of yourself-
remind yourself of your strength and the gifts that you bring into this world