
Poem of the Day: Growth













I wrote this in December of 2002. Towards the end of the year, I was depressed abotu dating and romance. I hated feeling like I was always just used for fun, objectified, and then discarded like trash. .

Now that I know
That between us
Can me nothing more
Than a story of pure lust
I feel so dumb
And wonder once again
If itβs possible to go numb
From all of the jerks that are so damn lame
You fucking jerks that donβt want to see past
Me being a great piece of ass
And I ask myself these questions
What does it take for someone like me?
To find someone that will make me happy
To find someone who doesnβt use me just for fun
But maybe itβs okay
Maybe this is just my fate
I wrote this in 2019 when I was reflecting about the way men have often objectified in a way that they almost always seem to just want the fun and sexy part of me but seem to often have problems seeing the rest of me. I’ve almost always felt like I’ve been good enough to be their lover but never good enough to be introduced to their mother. Do I still feel this way? I honestly don’t know. I like the attention and validation I get from men because of my looks but sometimes it feels so hollow.


Tell me Iβm pretty, tell me Iβm sexy
Tell me Iβm beautiful
Objectify me, fuck me,
Forget about me
And then
Try to come back to me
And when I deny
your lust filled request,
Put me down, threaten me
Try to hurt me-
Your words mean nothing to me
Youβre not the first
But will be the last
Who tries to destroy me
Youβre not the first
But will be the last
Who treats me like a doll
to fuck at your convenience
Youβre not the first
But will be the last
That tells me Iβm not good enough
Tell me you miss, tell me you want me
Tell me youβre sorry
Be persistent in your quest
In trying to get me in your bed
with empty promises
about how this time it will be different
Sorry to my past, my present, and
future lovers-
I am pass being the girl
thatβs just used for fun-
I am pass being the lover
you never introduce to your mother
Iβd rather live in a world
of solitude and calm
than to once again fall
into the objectification trap