poetry: 2012

I wrote this poem in March of 2025.

in total darkness I fell for a while
for a year I didn’t listen to music
For a year I don’t remember being a mom
and while I still function and went to work
Several years later
I realize how I had forgotten all about
the darkness I had fallen in a while ago
my mind blocked it in an attempt to move on
in an attempt to heal

poetry: bossy

I wrote this poem in March of 2021.

I don’t want to but have to be the boss
the boss of my family
the boss in my relationships
the boss of my life
it sucks to take charge and dominate all of the spaces
it sucks to have so many responsibilities thrust upon me
it sucks to always have to shrink myself for egos
it sucks to never be in a space where for once
I can be soft

poetry: cesspool

I wrote this poem in March of 2019.

Feeling hopeless in a cesspool of a world
That will never accept you
-for your skin color
-for your accent
-for your nationality
-for your religion or lack of one
-for your independent thought
Anything that doesn’t fit the image
of white and Christian is blasphemous
To be an “other” is to carry the weight of racism,
discrimination, xenophobia
All the phobias on your already burdened shoulders
So they try to kill us with actual guns Or
metaphorical ones of insults,rejections or looks of disgust.

poetry: soldier

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

I’m soldier of love
too lost battles for me to count and recount
how many times I’ve had to stitch my heart over and over again
from the many knives past lovers have stabbed me with
with the last one, I almost lost all hope for love
It made me lose my sanity and almost gave me PTSD
Still the romantic in me refused to die
and resurfaced this year
Told me, “this time it will be different, this time you have self respect
and you’ll be choosy over who’s worthy of your love energy”

poetry: you’re so mature for your age

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

wish I knew this at 19

Y’all should have known better than to fuck with me
trying me on while I was still finding my footing as a woman
to lust after me because of my curves and pretty face
Never thinking my brain was still developing
Never weighing the consequences of how your selfish ways
would hurt me
Instead I was just fodder for your game of lust-
and you became inspiration for stories and poems about trauma
I still wonder who I would turned out to be-
if only you two would have left me alone

poetry: special

I wrote this poem in February of 2025.

me on my birthday

With a fiery madness, she survived and made it out alive
tragedy after tragedy, diagnosis after diagnosis
she questioned how or why she did it
Many stood astonished at how she kept herself together
and composed even as her life and her body fell apart
but after a while it was easy for her to triumph
after every devastating plot twist
she was something else
a mixture of manic pixie girl and goddess
she was special

poetry: dangerous

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

this is a dangerous road I’m traveling on
smiling at your messages
Creating a playlist inspired by you
romanticizing every interaction we have
liking every single one of your posts
Wondering if you’re safe enough
To get to know you
beyond the walls of this simple friendship

poetry: uninhibited storytelling

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

me manifesting that one day I’ll be holding a book with my stories

middle age me is not seeking revenge on all who caused me trauma
I’m simply trying to make sense of the fuckery that happened to me
I’m simply trying to address the unhealed trauma that still lies
within me and haunts me in my dreams
I’m trying to process and understand that I never deserved any of it
I’m trying to get rid of that shame and guilt I’ve carried from it
and while sometimes that looks vindictive
I’m sorry but the only way to my journey in healing work
is through uninhibited storytelling

poetry: one day

I wrote this poem of February of 2025.

dreaming my future love into existence

one day I’ll meet a man who won’t be afraid to take my hand
and declare his love for me in public

one day I’ll meet a man who won’t have eyes for another body
other than mine

One day I’ll meet a man whose values aligns with mine

One day I’ll meet a man who’s always looking for ways
to evolve and better himself

One day I’ll meet a man who won’t run away from his emotions
and confront them head on even when it hurts

one day I’ll meet a man who’ll want to make me his
for the rest of his life without blinking an eye

and say I’m one the best things that’s ever happened to him

poetry: looking

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

ready to live this kind of story

I’m looking for the rhythm of a new heartbeat to fall in love with
A heartbeat that goes with the flow of my intense intimacy
A heartbeat who doesn’t call me angel or princess
only calls me by my name
a heartbeat who’ll fall in love with the real me
and not the idea they have of me
or the persona I play on social media
A heartbeat who can handle my crazy and chaos
A heartbeat who accepts and understands me
and never tries to change me

poetry: dystopian clusterfuck

I wrote this poem in February of 2025.

to be honest

me and my family have immigration jokes for day on end
and some of my friends think that’s sick and awful
but its one of the only things
that helps me and my family keep our sanity
in Trump’s American is making fun of our misery and misfortune

it’s how we’ve survived generations of corrupt governments
and wannabe dictators
its how we’ve passed resilience and strength to future generations

sure, we may cry at first as the life we’ve worked hard for
starts falling apart and our plans for the future are shattered
because of a few megarich and corrupt maga idiots
who run our government
but right after we wipe our tears and break out in jokes
and laughter
especially now that what’s supposed to be the land of the free
gets more and more fascist
and we swim closer and closer to nazi waters
the only thing we can do is try to find a way to smile, to laugh,
to find a bit of joy no matter how fucked up in may seem
in this dystopian clusterfuck

poetry: the fairy tale died that day

I wrote this poem in February of 2022.

I’m pregnant, it’s yours, I want to keep it
I start crying
“Just get rid of it you tell me
he fairytale died that day

I’m at your apartment drunk
And you;re drunk, we fight, then we kiss
And you take me in-but then you feel guilt
And kick me out I
The fairytale died that day

I’m at your apartment
I want to hold you and kiss you
I yearn for you
You imply I can’t be trusted
The fairytale died that day