I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

the empty wineglass sits at the edge of the coffee table
after Iβve written another poem about you
it needs to be refilled so my mind gets tired
of being inspired by the memory of you
I wrote this poem of February of 2025.

one day Iβll meet a man who wonβt be afraid to take my hand
and declare his love for me in public
one day Iβll meet a man who wonβt have eyes for another body
other than mine
One day Iβll meet a man whose values aligns with mine
One day Iβll meet a man whoβs always looking for ways
to evolve and better himself
One day Iβll meet a man who wonβt run away from his emotions
and confront them head on even when it hurts
one day Iβll meet a man whoβll want to make me his
for the rest of his life without blinking an eye
and say Iβm one the best things thatβs ever happened to him
I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

Iβd never say I lost time with any of my love stories-
they all taught me something about myself
They all inspired me to write poetry
and two of them help me create my three kings
even if some of my love stories left me decimated
and almost destroyed me
they were all worthy for the love I felt
the growth and progress I had
I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

Iβve written dozens and dozens of poems about our story of lust and love
but today I found your purpose
with you I found inspiration and motivation to make myself better
hoping you could really love me
hoping you wouldnβt see me as just a sexual commodity
hoping to make myself worthy of you
and while now I see it was a delusion of mine
to do all of these things for your love
it still helped me to become better than before
it still brought me the resilience, strength and courage
to start living the life I always wanted to live
and plan the future I had always dreamed of
with you and after you-
I became the empowered woman I am today
and for that I thank you
I wrote this poem in February of 2025.

rose gold cross ripped from her neck
handcuffs cutting into her smalls wrists
mami and papi canβt explain why
theyβre nowhere to be found
she thought officers were supposed to be good people
but they hurl insults at her and call her a criminal
and at 10 she can hardly grasped
the severity of the situation
they tell her over and over again
βweβre taking you back to where you came fromβ
and itβs beyond her compression
because her birth certificate says Illinois
because America is the only home sheβs ever known
I wrote this poem in February of 2022.

Donβt fall in love with me he said to me
right after he got off from me
he wanted to make sure I didnβt get the wrong idea
So he dotted his Iβs and Tβs of casual fucking
And I didnβt go into a love hysteria
But it was already too late
My intense emotions couldnβt wait
βI love him, heβs my love kingβ
I was already thinking
the truth is
No one can control a borderlineβs mind
And itβs not his fault of mine
that I catch feelings easily
even when you use me sexually
It wonβt matter what you say
My mind wonβt be swayed
I wrote this poem in February of 2025.

Diseased hip evicted, shiny aluminum to replace it
6 inch scar needed to better my life
80 minutes of the Drs doing their magic
Cutting into me and making me whole
a recovery period of 6 weeks or so they say
third time trying to fix my hip
hopefully the third time is a charm
all of this just for being born broken,
Damaged and different
everyone admires my strength and resilience
and all I dream about is one day not being defined
by everything Iβve had to overcome,
of ne day not being called resilient
and being seen as more than the turmoil
Iβve had to endure and over come
I wrote this poem in January of 2022.

Nobody knew about our sexcapade
You were a temporary escape
From the emptiness and loneliness
I felt in my suburban adolescence
Nobody knew about me and you
Until I could no longer hide
the living creature inside
Nobody knew about me and you
Until my belly grew and grew
And half of it was you
Nobody knew about our short fling
Until one day I had to sing
Iβm pregnant with a strangerβs baby
No,heβll never be the one or even a maybe
escribΓ poema en enero del 2025.

nunca serΓ‘ la mujer de tu vida y me toca aceptar esta realidad
que alguien como tu siempre me mirara como alguien comΓΊn
y nunca pensarΓ‘s que quizΓ‘s soy algo mΓ‘s que una mujer bella
nunca notaras que soy el fuego de inspiraciΓ³n que puede ser tu musa
I wrote this poem in January of 2022.

I fall in love easily
Reckless without abandon
Wanting to give him
My everything
This is my fairytale
I am sixteen
I fall in love with caution,
with time, with patience
with acceptance
Wanting to give him
My forever
This is my fairytale
I am 23
I fall in love immediately
Impulsively, sexually
Wanting to give him a love
heβs never known before
This is my fairy tale
I am 37
I fall in love with laughter,
With dancing, with practicality
I want to give him my life
This is my fairytale
I am 39
I fall in love with my body
With my creativity, with my resilience
I want to pour all the love I have
Into myself
I am 40
This is my reality
I wrote this poem in January of 2025.

once upon a time I wrote a lovely poem about us
and called it by starlight
it told the story of our first night
but now youβre gone and all Iβm left with
are memories of who we once were
and while I miss you
I know itβs better this way
we both needed a clean slate from our baggage
to start anew with someone else
we both needed to have a brand new start
with someone who fits into the new versions
of who we are now
I wrote this poem in January of 2022.

My former lover prays for me because I won’t fuck him
Is this how it feels like to change my story from on call whore
to an Iβm healing and deserve better “Woman
Is this how it feels like to to go from fun girl to healthy woman
I use to measure my worth by who loved me or who wanted to fuck me
but those days of impulsivity and “hey, this will be fun”
are long gone
Now are the days of painful transformations,therapy worksheets, self reflection
and most importantly self love
So I put away my sexy vixen persona
And I put on my ” βI’m authentic without apologies personaβ
Iβve stopped living to please others
and now live to please myself
I wrote this poem in January of 2018 .

Iβm disappointed once again -being here with you
You represent everything I thought I wanted
But-
You donβt compare to him
You make my body sing with pleasure
but donβt sweep up the mess that I am
You are there to help me escape
but never to rescue me
SO I choose him
Who chooses to be there for me
When I chase death in a bathtub or a bottle
Because while sex and lust feels good
when itβs happening
It doesnβt compare to the love
and support heβs provided in keeping me alive
So I say goodbye to a life
Full of lust filled fantasies
and accept the one and only who truly
cares for me
I wrote this poem in January of 2025.

My past called to me and I made the mistake of answering it
and looked for the former main characters in my life
Stalked them on google and social media
and most of them didnβt want to be found
perhaps they did the right thing in wanting to live their lives
in peace without their ghosts haunting them
but two of the ones who had the great impact on me
both of them are happily married
one of them has a son my youngest sonβs age
Iβm glad he grew out of his peter pan syndrome
and the other is about to finally become a dad at 43
his lifelong dream come true after waiting for so long
Iβm trying to be happy for him
and with all that Iβm ready to really close that chapter
On my past because while I was distracted from my grief
And highly entertained by my theatrics and my shitty choices in men
when I was in my twenties
Its time to stop this business of reminiscing of what was
and what could have been
Its time to accept what is and what could be
and focus on making my own lifelong dreams come true
And be open to my invisible string out there somewhere
waiting for me