
Poem of the Day: Growth


I wrote this about my husband in 2006 when I thought he was being distant.

You didnβt think that I wouldnβt notice
That you have stopped caring for me
That when I reach to touch you
There is no response
How could something that started so beautiful
And intense end up so bland and empty
Weβre together
But worlds apart
You no longer share
Your worries, your dreams
Everything that we once were
Has been shredded to pieces
But both of us deny it
You wonβt tell me whatβs wrong
Our silences are starting to be dreadfully long
Why canβt you just tell me
The whats, whys, and whens
Of falling out of love with me
And get our breakup over with.




I wrote this poem in 2004 when I was pregnant with my second child and mad at my boyfriend (future husband) for his lack of affection and attention to me. I was obviously very upset when I wrote this poem and instead of talking to him I wrote and bottled up my anger.

You refuse to see
All the hurt youβre causing me
With your indifferent ways
Itβs a miracle you havenβt yet gone astray
You refuse to see
Our son is paying the fee
He may still be in my belly
But the tears you cause me
Also affect him
You refuse to see
That one day soon youβll lose me
If you donβt stop
Being so fucking cold.




I wrote this poem in 2004 about my husband, then boyfriend. I guess I was mad about his lack of affection. As you can see, this is a pattern for me. I bottle my emotions up until one day I explode.

If you donβt want any of this
You should just leave
I canβt take anymore
Of your uncaring words
I donβt want to keep you from
Having your fun
So just go away
You only hurt me if you stay
Go back to the way you used to be
Alone, happy, and free
And take your precious independence
You prefer it to our relationship nonsense
So stop acting like you care
To us, it wouldnβt be fair
Adieu, adios, and goodbye
To our enormous love lie


