escribi este poema en Junio del 2024.

la verdad es que no se si verdaderamente he estado enamorada
no se si alguna vez he sido amada
es una verdad dura y terrible que me tengo tragar

He lies in the scent
Of our lovemaking
On love stained sheets
From βusβ
He lies with an
Angelic look on his face
With a recently delivered
Afterglow of new love
He lies in the freshly made world of intimacy
We have just created
He lies with eyes shut
And heavenly blood red lips
That call me baby
And I get ready to leave
With dreadful
Back to the reality
That doesnβt include
My Adonis
I wrote this poem in June of 2024.

youβve change from spring to autumn within moments
never knew if I should wear my feelings on my sleeve
never knew if I should wear layers of cynicism
Iβve made it as simple as possible for you
and nothing happens
and slowly my hope of love recedes in the background
I wrote this poem in June of 2024.

my dreamy pisces energy has gotten me in more trouble
than it was worth
always viewing things in extremes
always making devils and angels out of people
who are really just mortals
my dreamy pisces energy is either my biggest curse
or my biggest blessing depending on the season,
the weather or the day

I search for peace and tranquility but it evades me
sometimes I find it but it quickly dissipates
Feeling so much all of the time gets exasperating
I yearn for a vacation from this intensity
Iβm starting to think this is my destiny
To fall in love hard and feel heartbreak even harder
To write a few poems when Iβm in love
To write a hundred poems when I face another love failure
maybe itβs best to truly accept me
a girl sometimes full of serenity
a girl always full of intensity
I wrote this poem in June of 2024.

this modern world got my victorian and pure heart all fucked up
donβt know which way is up
donβt know which way is down
donβt know what is right
donβt know what is wrong
I want someoneβs hand to hold but they reach for my breast
I want innocent kisses on the cheek
but they reach for the heaven between my thighs

I wake up on a Sunday
Mad and angry
Youβre not here
In my arms
Because I was too much
I was too Insane
Too old
So I lay alone
In tears that wonβt fall
Numb
Wondering-
When will I ever
Find someone
To take away
The numbness
Of the experience
Of a life not loved
Of a face not kissed
Of an intimacy faked!
I wrote this poem in June of 2024.

everyone I meet wants to fix me
my hair is wild and indomitable
my grammar is atrocious
my laugh is too loud
and we canβt forget about my crooked teeth
and while most of them mean well
I wonder whatβs so wrong with me
that people always fixate on my flaws

I can never compete
With a lifetime of love, of memories
Of him knowing her
Even when she breaks his heart
Over and over and over again
Even when I let him break mine
Over and over and over again
Itβs a vicious cycle of love, heartbreak, and regret
A cycle where I continue to break my own heart
Because I will never be pretty or skinny
Like her
I will never be enough!

He looked at me like no oneβs
ever looked at me
He kissed me with an unquenchable
passion unforeseen
And he touched me, my body
And my soul the way no one ever could
He hugged me tight enough so I felt
The entire essence of him, the past twenty years
Of everything we ever felt for each other
Twenty years of lust, obligations, lies,
Hatred, resentment, passion, memories, life,
And LOVE
In his arms I felt like I was me AGAIN
I wrote this poem in June of 2024.

I hope this story is buried for a final time
and you donβt pop up again
and I have to play whack an asshole
once again
blocking you on yet another platform
would the universe be kind enough this time
for it to be good riddance forever
cause Iβm tired of my past mistakes
to constantly come out of nowhere
to disturb my present

It dwells in the back of my mind-
Could this be too good to be true?
Will he need distance soon?
Insecurity takes over after finding
something so sure.
Insecurity tells me Iβm not good enough.
Insecurity tells me that I donβt deserve him.
Insecurity tells me one day this will end
and it will be absolutely devastating.
I wrote this poem in June of 2024. It was inspired by the disappearance of little Latina girl in my area that I didn’t feel was getting enough media attention.

I pray for the little brown girl lost in Gainesville
the one thatβs my sonβs age
the one that looks like my sister at that age
the one who has my mamiβs name
I pray sheβs found alive
I pray that she finds warmth in her parents
arms soon
I pray more of a big deal is made out of
her disappearance
and sheβs found quickly
because Iβm sure that if this little girl
had been a jonbenet look alike
more would have been done to find her
and bring her back to her family
her community
thatβs been missing her greatly
I wrote this poem in May of 2024.

Iβm ready for steak dinners and an expensive bottle of chardonnay
shared over awkward getting to know you conversations
with no expectations to put out
Iβll be a completely different woman when Iβm dating again
a woman selective about who allows near her
a woman who no longer seeks validation and attention
from the wrong men