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poetry: today

I wrote this poem in July of 2024.

we had the same vibe

it wasn’t until today I realized how ordinary you really were
It wasn’t that you were ever that interesting or special
It was me with my lovergirl delusional glasses
refusing to see past what was in front of me
Seeing and getting caught up in fantasies
of who you could be
when really you were, the most ordinary of men
not malicious, not especially intelligent
not really helpful
just kind of existing without any spark
without anything that would  make me
look twice at you now

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Poetry: So Pretty

Pretty gets me in a man’s door
but also makes me feel like a whore
I’ve been pretty sexy, pretty nice, pretty sweet
I’ve also been pretty crazy, pretty Petty, and pretty mean
men love me when I’m pretty and submissive
but not when I’m pretty reclusive
men want the pretty girl who’s fun
but not when I’m a pretty girl who’s a selfish cunt
pretty gets me notice
but also gets me dismissed

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poetry: American dream

I wrote this poem in July of 2024.

part of my american dream

to see my american dream I just need to step into my backyard
and look at my holy trinity who call me mom
they’re the ones I try to better myself for
they’re the one who make my immigrant existence
worth living for
they’re my american dream wrapped up in burps, dark humor
and love

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poetry: july

I wrote this poem in July of 2024.

an omen in july

july, july, july
it’s the month where I lose my mind
the heat gets to me and turns up the BSC in me
you won’t find me sweet and eager to please in July
you won’t find me full of ruffles and flowery phrases
in poetry
you’ll find me being a ball of immigrant rage and fury
you’ll find me a woman who’s had enough
of the American dream bullshit
and ready to roar and scream out everything wrong
with this country

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poetry: I will try

I wrote this poem in June of 2024.

always determined to keep going

as long as there is breath left in me
I will try
try to be a good mom to my kids
try to tell my story
try to love everyone the best way
i can
try to find understanding
for what happened to me
try to find joy in the most ordinary
of moments
try to dance my way through
my most depressive episodes
try find my inner peace and calm

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poetry: he doesn’t exist

I wrote this poem in June of 2024.

dating advice from my youngest son

I keep trying to manifest the one worthy of me
but I’m starting to think he doesn’t exist
I swipe and swipe on the dating apps
but no one is of interest to me
and so I find solace in an unrequited love
that will never be more than friendship
it’s the best I can do to quell the romantic in me

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Poetry: The Sad Artist

Out of the saddest minds

Comes the greatest creativity

I wonder why that is–

Is it because there are

  No boundaries set in our minds?

Is it because 

We live 100 lives

In 1 lifetime?

Is it because we are easily 

Inspired by devastation and loss?

It is because pain and sadness

Flows out of us

More easily than others

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Poetry: My Adonis

He lies in the scent
Of our lovemaking
On love stained sheets
From “us”

He lies with an
Angelic look on his face
With a recently delivered
Afterglow of new love

He lies in the freshly made world of intimacy
We have just created

He lies with eyes shut
And heavenly blood red lips
That call me baby

And I get ready to leave
With dreadful
Back to the reality
That doesn’t include
My Adonis

Posted on by pattytacuri · 3 Comments

poetry: seasons change

I wrote this poem in June of 2024.

you’ve change from spring to autumn within moments
never knew if I should wear my feelings on my sleeve
never knew if I should wear layers of cynicism
I’ve made it as simple as possible for you
and nothing happens
and slowly my hope of love recedes in the background

Posted on by pattytacuri · 1 Comment

poetry: dreamy pisces energy

I wrote this poem in June of 2024.

it be like that when you’re a Pisces

my dreamy pisces energy has gotten me in more trouble
than it was worth
always viewing things in extremes
always making devils and angels out of people
who are really just mortals
my dreamy pisces energy is either my biggest curse
or my biggest blessing depending on the season,
the weather or the day

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Poetry: Never

I can never compete

With a lifetime of love, of memories

Of him knowing her 

Even when she breaks his heart

Over and over and over again

Even when I let him break mine

Over and over and over again

It’s a vicious cycle of  love, heartbreak, and regret

A cycle where I continue to break my own heart

Because I will never be pretty or skinny 

Like her

I will never be enough!

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poetry: whack an asshole

I wrote this poem in June of 2024.

for real

I hope this story is buried for a final time
and you don’t pop up again
and I have to play whack an asshole
once again
blocking you on yet another platform
would the universe be kind enough this time
for it to be good riddance forever
cause I’m tired of my past mistakes
to constantly come out of nowhere
to disturb my present

Posted on by pattytacuri · 1 Comment

Poetry: The Monster of Insecurity

It dwells in the back of my mind-

Could this be too good to be true?

Will he need distance soon?

Insecurity takes over after finding

 something so sure.

Insecurity tells me I’m not good enough.

Insecurity tells me that I don’t deserve him.

Insecurity tells me one day this will end

  and it will be absolutely devastating.