I wrote this poem in August of 2022.
Halfway through 41, I am truly alone
no potential love candidates
and sometimes the loneliness threatens to kill my soul-
But I know better than to suffer through another deception
so I process all of my feelings through poetry
Hoping it’s enough to keep the romantic in me
from making another mistake
Here’s is the English version of this poem:
Poetry: Crooked Turn
otro giro equivocado más en el amor y perderé la fe para siempre
porque siguiendo repetir la misma tragedia
es una locura que está acabando con mi espÃritu, con mi alma
mejor serÃa quedarme sola que seguir perdiendo partes de mi
por mi anhelo de ser amada
I wrote this poem in August of 2022.
Let’s go to war with ourselves
and speak our truth and heal unprocessed trauma within
and face our fear and insecurities
we’ll walk out with confidence and feel empowered
We’ll leave with versions of ourselves ready
to reach our full potential and ready to love
I wrote this poem in April of 2022.
I finally read a book I felt seen in
I finally read a book that didn’t make a Latina
a side character, a vixen or a maid
I finally read a book that addressed
the complexity of the intersectionality
of an American Latina’s identity
I finally read a book that changed my life
I plan my goals according to what I want to achieve and what will bring fulfillment and joy to my life. I keep a google doc of lifetime goals with lofty goals like owning property in the U.S and Peru and traveling to all 7 continents. Here’s a preview of it:
Get published in more online or print publications
I will get a translation certification from Arizona University
My Spanish will be more fluent than ever
I will go to Oxapampa-4/2/2023 (goal accomplished, yay ME!)
Travel to Asia
Own property in Peru (preferably in Oxapampa -a house with farmland)
Travel to Mexico (Frida Kahlo’s house)
Go to Montgomery, Alabama-Zelda Fitzgerald’s house
I also have a short term goal list I make every year but also continue to revise them every time I start a new journal. Here’s a preview of it:
I want to add that I’m very intentional with my goals and when I start to feel stuck or stagnated in my life, I will revisit them and see which goals I’ve achieved and making progress on and which ones I need to work on. I think that having goals have given my life purpose and keeps me moving forward. Some years have harder than others to set goal, I remember in 2019 I had two goals: survive 2019, have more compassion for myself. So really, it doesn’t matter how many goals you have or what kind of goals they are, the only thing that matters is that they help you evolve and bring fulfillment to your life.
no, Susan or Ken, your ex wasn’t a narcissist, they just got tired of your bullshit. honestly, though, we need to stop arm chair diagnosing people with this word. it’s turning into a “catch all term” to make us feel better about ourselves when a relationship ends or we have a fallout with someone. I’ve been accused of it and I’ve accused others of it and it just made things worse. So, yeah, let’s stop using the word “narcissist” unless we are a legit mental health professional or we know for sure that person has been diagnosed as a narcissist.
when the world gets to be too much
I block, I delete, I ignore
I don’t want to waste my precious energy and time
on anything that drains me, that robs me of my peace
I’ve fought too hard to get to a place of serenity
and I can’t allow anyone or anything
to ruin my newfound reality of tranquility
Here’s the English version of this poem:
Poetry: Bad Place
encadenada en mis pensamientos oscuros que luchó de escapar
pero no hay remedio para esta depresión hincada en mi
que me cubre con una niebla de incertidumbre
no me deja en paz, no me deja vivir
Here’s the English Version of this poem:
Poetry: Company
Querido amigo, ¿por qué quieres que pase la noche contigo?
¿Será porque quieres usar mi cuerpo para que cubra tu soledad?
¿Será porque estás triste por el rechazo de aquella?
lo siento, pero me tengo que ir
no me prestaré para ser uno de tus antojos temporáneos
porque tu no sabes como enfrentar tus sentimientos
I wrote this poem in August of 2022.
love makes me feel trapped
trapped in a cage of desire and emotions
that I want to escape from
and I still try thinking this time
it will be different except it never is
so I’m giving up for a while-
Giving myself time to prepare for my next victim
Describe your life in an alternate universe.
here is the English version of this poem:
Poetry: Dear Brad
Queridisimo Brad-
lo siento por no dejar que me lleves a tu cama
y que me uses como te dé la gana
es que aprendi mi leccion
y ahora entendió que soy un tesoro
que no puede gastar su energÃa
en alguien que no mas me quiere
por un ratito y despues se va
Life on the BPD 