here’s the English version of this poem:
poetry: dreams and goals
nos encarcelamos en monotonía y rutina
Convirtiéndonos victimas de nuestras vidas sin sueños y metas
pensando que nuestros mejores años han pasado
hundiendonos en el falso cuento que la sociedad
nos viendo que nuevas aventuras son solo
nuestros días de juventud
I wrote this in January of 2022.
Stuck in between Spanish and English
is a bilingual nightmare
constantly switching between languages
gives me a lifelong jaqueca
and at times I don’t get it right
it’s switching between two identities
Latina or American
it gets hard and confusing at times
but it’s who I am
Hablo con mamá en Español
I speak to my sons in English
Hablo con los pacientes en Español
I speak to my coworkers in English
and to code switch parece una comedia
I’m told that I’m fun and loud en Español
pero soy profesional y reservada in English
eventually I learn to meld
my American and Latina personalities
and I find my most authentic
bilingual and bicultural identity
I wrote this poem in april of 2023.
my poetry has never been to get attention, likes, comments, validation
and while I appreciate all those things
I have to be honest –
my poetry is and will always be for me to speak my truth,
to process my feelings, to heal from life’s tragedies
to understand myself and learn to love myself as I am
my poetry is the ultimate love letter to myself and the universe
I wrote this poem in April of 2022.
Dear future heartbroken me,
Sometimes it won’t be you or even him
Sometimes things don’t work out
It’s nothing to be obsessed about
Sometimes love isn’t enough
It doesn’t mean you’re not enough
Sometimes things end abruptly
and it’s not the end of your story
and sometimes you learn from it
And most of the time
it will serve to change your narrative
I wrote this poem in april of 2023.
I put my insecurities and fears on display for the world to see
it’s a most arduous task-it’s not for the weak
at first I thought it was crazy
it was me trying to get attention
it was me seeking validation
and while it may have been these things
it was also brave, courageous
to be so radically honest
about what unnerves me
It’s how I’ve been able to heal
and claim my identity
I wrote this poem in april of 2023.
a red bird appeared to me in a dream
it carried the spirit of an ancestor I had never known
he told me to not get too comfortable in my current life
while it’s been a good life and I keep thriving
and making my dreams come true
I have even more room for improvement
my purpose is bigger than I’ve ever dreamed of
and through my storytelling
I will not just heal myself but help others
find their own path in their hero’s journey
I wrote this poem in April of 2023.
the freedom and independence in my son
brings me a sense of pride with so much happiness
I see his fiery spirit shine from within
and his light is so bright-
I know I’ve done something right
he’s not afraid to take risks, he’s not afraid of failure
He’s not afraid to be himself
and I breathe a sense of relief
he will not bear the sense of forced obligations
or burden of expectations I had-
instead he’ll make himself and his happiness
a priority above all else
while still caring for humanity
it’s the beginning of breaking a generational curse
of obedient and silent martyrdom
that’s been inherited for generations
I wrote this poem in April of 2023.
we all fuck up from time to time and have to remind ourselves
we are not our worst mistakes, our terrible breakups, or our emotional relapses
to be human is to make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes will feel catastrophic
and that’s when your inner critic with the help of shame and guilt will step in
trying to make you feel like a piece of shit, worthless and useless when it comes to everything
acknowledge it, honor it if you have to but don’t get stuck in it
because this is not the entirety of you
this is just a small fraction of your being-
don’t get caught up in the worst of yourself-
remind yourself of your strength and the gifts that you bring into this world
I wrote this poem in April of 2023.
Always has never been a friend of mine
because of the many lies I associate with it
I’ll always be here for you-
I’ll always love you
I’ll always be your friend
so now I never believe people who say always
Instead, I look at them with cynicism
And tell them, “that’s nice but I don’t believe you”
here’s the English version of this poem:
Poetry: License
agobiada y frustrada desde una temprana edad
con la responsabilidad de mi maternidad
nunca tuve tiempo para apreciar la bendición que eran mis hijos
Nunca pude entender que mis hijos son el mejor regalos
que me pudo dar el universo
pero después de cumplir 40
y recibí un diagnóstico que cambiaría mi vida
Por fin pude sentir una gratitud verdadera por mis tres reyes
Por fin pude apreciar la felicidad que ellos me brindan
Por fin pude convertir mi historia de madre frustrada
a madre feliz y orgullosa
Life on the BPD 