Last day of 40 and it feels like the longest year of my life My 4th decade started with the miracle of what I thought was true love But nope-it was another story of disillusionment and loss growth and progress became the theme in my 40th year I beat a 15 year driving phobia and made art from heartbreak and trauma and Iβm no longer scared to live my truth out loud with my family, friends, and my online community I also learned I was enough and complete by myself and never needed someone to validate my existence And as year 40 closes,Iβm amazed by my creativity and resilience and how time and time again I turn my trauma and grief into the ultimate comeback story For year 41,I hope to continue to thrive with calm and tranquility and enjoy the magic I found within
estoy cansada de tragarme las opiniones de otra personas que piensan que ellos me conocen a mi mejor de que yo me conozco Asentir de acuerdo que ellos saben lo que en mejor para mi pero cuando me defiendo me acusan de ser otra Latina ardiente y furiosa entonces sigo tragΓ‘ndome su palabras hirientes e ignorantas que me hacen sentir pequeΓ±a y como una estΓΊpida mientras me quemo adentro con una rabia grande e intensa
I met my first king at 17 when the nurse placed an alien like being in my arms She was like βfeed himβand I was like βhow do I do that?β What should I do with him? Eventually I figured it out
I met my first king at 24 as a birthday present, just like me he had to make a dramatic entrance but it was love at first sight No one could take him from my arms I knew what to do
I met my third king at 30 He was a dream delivered After a dream lost the previous year He was planned, he was awaited, he was loved He was welcome by everyone with him, I felt a completion of love
When darkness comes in and my sadness sets in it covers me and I canβt see the point of it all And then I hear a knock and itβs my son And I remember, today heβs my lifeβs purpose I need to get up and face another dreadful day My child needs food and shelter I canβt let my depression win Iβm a mother first My darkness will have to be martyred Remembering over and over again on days like today my childβs presence makes my bad days worth living
aprecio este momento contigo mientras nos reΓmos de algo estupido mientras escuchamos esta canciΓ³n melancholica de amor mientras vivimos una simple amistad
Existing was this never ending sorrow Existing was a βwhat the point of it allβ status Existing was a horrible and exhausting nightmare I couldnβt want to wake up from But now.. Existing is welcoming the excitement of the morning sun Existing is looking forward to my next chapter Existing is a hopeful and lovely dream Iβm currently living in
regrese al mundo que me causo trauma en mi infancia bastante a cambiado, bastante sigue igual recuerdos de dolor, miseria, y pobreza regresaron a mi mente la niΓ±a miedosa y ansiosa que era me visita pero esta vez , la llevΓ³ de la mano y le digo, ahora eres una mujer valiente y fuerte y las personas que te hicieron daΓ±o nunca mΓ‘s lo harΓ‘n, las personas que te traumaron ahora son parte de tu pasado
me estoy hundiendo en mi tristeza y nada o nadie lo puede para empiezo a sentirme entumecida a mi vida y ha nadie le importa y quiero gritar pero no puedo en cambio finjo sonrisas y digo que todo estΓ‘ bien
la soledad me abrazo como un amigo viejo y no me soltΓ³ la soledad me ama como un amante que no puede vivir sin mi la soledad me luce bien y por primera vez me hace siento suficiente y amada la soledad es mi calma y tranquilidad la soledad es un regalo del universo
me dejaste sin advertencia me entumeci a tu memoria fuistes otro capitulo que nunca mΓ‘s quiero abrir y ahora me llamas con mil disculpas y remordimientos Y a mi no me importa no soy la misma chica que tu conociste no soy la ingenua que tu enamoraste con mentiras ahora conozco mi valor y mi magia y no me menospreciare para dejarte regresar a mi vida
someday everything wonβt feel so heavy someday I wonβt swim in anxiety someday Iβll find self love Someday Iβll be enough Someday, someday, someday Maybe someday is today today I see the light today Iβm grateful for my life today I feel like enough Today I have self love Maybe just maybe Today Iβm truly happy