maldigo mi existencia, deseo ser cualquier otra persona siempre cometo el mismo error alucinando que sexo es amor cuando en realidad es mi obsesión tóxica con ser deseada, y sentir que valgo algo para otro ser humano
I was trapped in a mental cage of misery I didn’t know how to rewrite my story and while poetry helped me it was with grief and therapy I finally felt free I learned to let go of old resentments and grudges and healed old emotional bruises and while I still have minor annoyances my anger and angst no longer control me
My disintegration looks like a tsunami that destroys me I try to navigate the tidal waves of my emotions and that tidal waves washes over me, and I’m overwhelmed and my logic is short circuited, and impulsivity takes over Oh shit I posted that Oh fuck I bought that Sorry, I didn’t mean that- And I harm myself and others without malicious intent and don’t remember how it happened
Our relationship slowly wilted Too many broken promises Too many sacrifices on my part I gave you my youth and you two children and you couldn’t give me an ounce of affection I tried to melt your icy cold wall and you denied my warmth And I tried over and over again to save us! But how do you save something that continues to die? Date nights, long conversations,accommodating to your needs continuously, and marriage counseling but all of it was useless and completely pointless So I gave up and let our marriage fall into a coffin along with your broken promises to change I even kept the coffin open with a slight hope we could fix us But one day I got tired of waiting, waiting and waiting and I decided to close the coffin and nail it shut- It was time to bury our lackluster love
If you inspire me consider it a gift it means you’ve made an impact on me sure my words may feel angry but that’s just me processing because I have the most painful mental illness and writing angry poems is how I deal with it if you become my muse I must have felt something for you could be hate or love if you’re lucky, it’s both that means you’ll be bestowed with endless poetry about you
forgetting him will be your biggest regret one day as you grow older, you’ll wonder about what could have been if only you had found your courage if only you hadn’t been so passive and now it’s getting too late for you to be a father to him the seeds of resentment are growing in him the damage of your abandonment is irreparable
No todo sale bien siempre Pierdes amantes, puedes amistades lo importante es que tu no te abandones lo importante es que tu sigas amandote porque los demás no importan ellos agregas a tu vida mientras tu la completas
My future is a sky blue and full of potential Now that I’ve walked away from anyone or anything that limited me I’ve let go of any grief I held within I’ve embrace my crazy and now let it out creatively Is this the beginning of a new me? Am I finally the person I was always meant to be?
You were another mistake made another one I’m throwing in the land of the forgotten another one who couldn’t appreciate the rare and precious gem that I am another one who’ll inspire poetry about how my heart broke once again by trusting the wrong man
Morning rain makes me want to lay longer in bed and listen to music and cry cry about everything that could have been but instead I get up and start my day even try to get excited about it because if I give in to my depression for even one day my inner critic wins
I cloak myself in compassion and empathy with family and friends but when it comes to myself- I criticize and judge and tell myself I’m not worth it But it’s time to turn this narrative around I’m done, done, done with being a self-loathing clown and using self-deprecating humor doesn’t help me it hinders my creativity and stops me from unlocking the potential within
por el bien estar de nuestro hijo tenemos que olvidar todo lo que alguna vez fuimos tu tienes que asumir tu responsabilidad y yo tengo que dejar el pasado en paz hay que empezar de nuevo y declarar una tregua Hay que perdonarnos y convertirnos en los padres que el merece que seamos
love is a magnet for my insanity love is a magnet for feeling worthless love is magnet for everything wrong in me so I locked the door to my heart with a padlock and threw away the key I can’t trust myself again to risk my vulnerability