so American, I walk around with ketchup on my face
el tio Julio always spoke English to us, the kids didnβt matter who we were with or where we were I think he was an advocate of assimilation at an early age I think he wanted all of us to have a fighting chance in our adopted homeland perhaps this was an act of kindness on his part he knew that in order to survive in the USA we had to leave behind the part that made us seen as a foreigner and become as American as possible
my uncleβs death has awakened something in me and while I think he was mostly good and donβt judge him Iβm sad he didnβt live his life authentically Iβm sad he couldnβt bring himself to leave his loveless marriage Iβm sad he hurt his second wife by cheating on her with the first Iβm sad that for more than half a century he was deeply in love with a woman he could never have I wonder what would have happened if my uncle made it to therapy and tamed his demons I wonder if eventually he couldβve found some happiness and love in his life or perhaps Iβm wrong and he was content with the mess he was inside
under a tequila sunrise in L.A,he breaks apart once again she committed the ultimate act of treason against him and he couldnβt forgive her again this time he couldnβt put a bandaid of his love to make it all better this time he had a son to think about this time his family would disown him if he stayed with her so he packed up her stuff, put the boxes and suitcases of her belongings outside changed the locks and filed for divorce even as he broke inside, he held all of his emotions in and even though he considered her the grand love of his life he had to cut all ties with her this time she hadnβt just broken law of not just decency and morality with her actions this time her horrid actions made her beyond redemption this time she had gone too far
Theyβre typically blond and white and think theyβre entitled to every fucking thing they always want to speak to the manager their names sound like Karen and Susan theyβll pretend to have loads of empathy when what they really have is tons of judgment theyβll hide behind a pseudo wokeness when underneath theyβre racist as fuck they complain about the unfairness of their lives when their lives are the definition of privilege and luxury theyβll shove their higher education in your face when their ignorance shows in their actions they supposedly live, laugh, and love when they really hate, judge, and shame their names sound like karen and Susan
canβt shake the stink of death and while I know itβs inevitable and I need to radically accept it it still doesnβt soften the explosion of grief that follows and leaves me wrecked it still follows me everywhere I go perhaps this will be the biggest lesson of 2025 to spend time with my loved ones while theyβre still here instead of waiting until itβs too late and live in regret while we drown in condolences and eulogies
I actually started writing this poem sometime in 2017 and finished it in January 2020. A big part of my identity is being an immigrant. This poem was inspired by the hardships and struggles I’ve seen my parents and other immigrants go through. This poem was also inspired by the Trump administration and the xenophobia that was felt in my life during that time.
immigration leads to discrimination of immigrants into this so called united nation the ones with brown skin and dark eyes justice to them is greatly denied xenophobia is the driving sensation
their bosses sing a song called exploitation and they hum along to it to live in this democratic nation they leave their language and culture behind to endure the american lie but donβt quite fit into the gringo equation
Is their sacrifice worth so much separation from their families, their language, and their nation? Ah-America – the land of the free yet none of them are truly free living in a soulless and consumerist society
In 2025, I will be braver than ever I will embody the word empowerment while embracing softness and vulnerability I will love and allow myself to be loved life is really too short to allow my ego and pride to get in the way of whatever love story the universe wants to send me
I used to find it romantic and endearing how in Hollywood stories the protagonists triumphs over insurmountable obstacles to find their happy endings until I notice thereβs always a third party whoβs left behind a third party whoβs expendable and the cost of the happy ending the protagonist are granted it makes me wretched with empathy and feel grief for them because too often, Iβve known what itβs like to be left for someone prettier, shinier, easier, MORE EXCITING and I wonder if itβs time to write stories about them the third parties left behind who didnβt make the cut in their loverβs love story
Alfonsina Storni found me on a cold november night and it was what my spirit needed to be resuscitated into feeling something Alfonsina Storni found me on a cold november night and I couldnβt wait to show mami she dedicated Hombre PequeΓ±ito to Papi and we laugh at his expense for a minute Alfonsina Storni found me on a cold november night and I watched her 1957 bio pic with mami we stood in awe at how progressive it was for its time but at the same time understood how much progress still needed to be made for woman kind
You were one of my false starts this year it wasnβt your fault though I tend to get stars in my eyes over any man who gives me attention, And is equally emotionally unavailable
Itβs a lethal combination for me And even if I know better, I always fall for it except this time I fell harder than usual because youβre also a man who calls me out on my bullshit
your boundaries are clear as spring water I heard them between the gaps of silence in our texts you donβt want to encourage any attention from me or send mixed messages so instead, you donβt answer or initiate any conversations and I donβt blame you for this- After all, I am batshit crazy, I wouldnβt date me either so I will no longer bother you Iβll leave you alone respect the professional boundaries and walls you have erected Take this as another sign from the universe Iβm still too damaged for another chance at love
not sure when a new muse will appear I just gave up on my most recent one I can take a hint heβs not interested heβs scared because Iβm too crazy and will fuck up his life and maybe heβs right maybe Iβm not healed enough, not intelligent enough maybe for him Iβm just not enough and this doesnβt make me angry Iβm in the acceptance phase Iβll no longer bother him Iβll just let him be Iβll just wait for a new muse to appear out of nowhere from my dreams into my real life my manifestation game is strong though sometimes my aim is off
magneto y locomΓa sale de la tele mi tΓo me llamaba su condesita y mi tΓa me llamaba linda y me rΓo porque ΓΊltimamente me siento como una extraΓ±a en mi cuerpo y mami y sus hermanas me dicen que me estoy volviendo una seΓ±orita pero lo ΓΊnico que veo es un monstruo fea y gorda en el espejo y quisiera ser delgadita y fina como mis primas pero por lo menos mi tΓo y mi tΓa no me miran asΓ me miran como un tesoro bello y valioso