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poetry: candle

I wrote this poem in January of 2023.

no fuck you and your pedantic machismo- oh and PWM =privileged white male

I light a candle, put on music, and pay tribute to all that I will never be-
it’s not like I’m denying myself possibilities or opportunities
I’m just acknowledging certain realities
I’ll never have the proper words, the necessary pretentious words
of the upper class pedigree to be published in one of those prestigious journals
or win a pulitzer prize
I’ll never be seen as an equal in American because I’ll always be a foreigner
and while this brings me a certain kind of grief
I also celebrate how different I am
I’ll never filter my words or fake eloquence or elegance
to make myself digestible to those with multiple degrees
Nah, I’m a mosaic masterpiece, with my bad grammar,
my simple vocabulary
and my powerful and emotionally charged phrases
I’m not and never will be for those with sensitive ears or palettes
and I’ll always take pride in that

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traditions

about a boy with Spanish subtitles
Bloganuary writing prompt
Write about a few of your favorite family traditions.
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I think one of the best things about having a family of your own is making up your own traditions. One of my favorite traditions I have with my boys is watching “About a Boy” every Thanksgiving while we wait for dinner or afterwards. I started this tradition in 2008 when my oldest was 10 and my middle son was 3. The first time we watched it we had just moved into our new place and me and their dad hadn’t gotten around to getting internet and hardly had any furniture so we had to make do with the DVDs we had on hand to entertain the boys. For whatever reason, we watched that movie a few times. I remember watching it for the first time with my boys and all of these questions about mental health my then 3 year old had and how concerned he was for the mom in the movie. It was just such a sweet moment for me. A couple of years ago, my oldest son gave me the blu-ray dvd version of the movie to upgrade it from my old DVD copy. I love the message in the movie about how “no man is an island” and we all need community from friends and family to make life enjoyable and worth living. 

me and my birthday twin throughout the years…

My other favorite tradition involves me and my middle son. I had him on my 24th birthday so we are birthday twins. When our birthday week rolls around, I decide to get desserts almost every day of the week for me and him to celebrate. Sometimes, we do share with our other family members when we feel like it. I started this tradition 4 years ago. We also always get two different cakes of our choice for our actual birthdays. I plan to keep this tradition around as long as he lives with me and/or lives close to me. 

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little moments of joy

sharing these types of memes bring me joy
Bloganuary writing prompt
What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time?
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unexpected joy is felt over little things

the first time I tried on bluetooth earbuds

the wind against my face as I run

eating four types of ceviches in my homeland

awkwardly dancing with my dad’s classmates

laughing with my oldest son over something stupid

a meme about being crazy shared with my friends

its little moments like these that make life worthwhile

11/19/22

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poetry: i really mean it

I wrote this poem in January of 2023.

having crushes in your middle age is so CRINGE

Cry in front of me and show me your vulnerable side
I won’t run away or shame you for sharing your pain
I understand what it’s like to be left alone
when you start to drown in your emotions
and you reach for someone and that person
turns you away
I will never be that callous
when I say you can be safe with me,
I really mean it

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pose for the camera

me being Elmyra with this cat
Bloganuary writing prompt
If you could make your pet understand one thing, what would it be?
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if I had a pet, I would want them to understand how to pose for the camera. My kids learned real quick and were posing by the time they were 4 to 5 months old. Also, this seems like silly prompt but whatever I’m answering it only cause I promised myself to answer every prompt on wordpress this month.

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poetry: lesson

aqui esta el poema original que inspiró este poema:

Poesía: Falso 2005

we were another lesson in love lost and mourned
I tried everything to make it work
even where it was past our expiration date
I never wanted our children to be products of a broken home
but even my best efforts could not fight how different we were
or our long term story of incompatibility
it wasn’t your fault or mine
we were just both too stubborn to see what was in front of us
a friendship that should’ve stayed platonic
but you fell in deep for me
and I was tired wanted to settle
and we made it work until one day I realized it wasn’t enough

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patricia

Bloganuary writing prompt
Write about your first name: its meaning, significance, etymology, etc.
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so I was named for my mom’s sister Patty. My aunt Patty was also the rebel and the baby in the family. My mom named me after her because I had another aunt who wanted me to have her name and my mom hated being pressured about it. So she was pregnant and feeling petty and named me after my aunt Patty. Growing up I was intimidated by her because she was the beauty bombshell and I was this awkward and shy kid growing up. Maybe she’s who I channeled when I pose in my pictures, lol. Anyways, like me she’s also divorced and has three boys of her own. We also both go by Patty rather than our formal name cause Idk Patricia feels like it belongs to some old stuffy Irish nun. Anyways, unlike me, my Aunt Patty is a fabulous cook while I can hardly make rice. Her ceviche will make you cry not only because it’s spicy but because it’s super delicious. As far as the etymology of the name which is such a boring thing to investigate, here’s a link to it:https://www.etymonline.com/word/Patricia

my aunt Patty in the late 80s vs middle age me in 2023
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poetry: betrayed

I wrote this poem in January of 2023.

that time I cut my bangs cause I was anxious about seeing my crush…lol…thank God for my beanie

My heart betrayed me last night
it was on the same page that I need to put any hope of love on hold
Until I’m free of my marital ties-
Until I’m no longer suffering of any residual trauma
from my last failed romantic relationship
but in one night, my heart betrayed my mind
And it felt euphoria and everything that comes with meeting
the potential of love
And while my mind tries to reign in my feelings
My heart says “sorry, we’re already in too deep”

Posted on by pattytacuri · 1 Comment

dream job

the coffee and dessert in Lima is to die for
Bloganuary writing prompt
What’s your dream job?
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my dream job would involve writing and traveling . I can imagine myself somewhere in some foreign country drinking coffee in some cafe where I write poetry as I’m people watching as I blast music in my ear buds.

Posted on by pattytacuri · 1 Comment

my gen-z boss

me in my Kroger apparel ready to work hard and do my best for my gen-z boss
Bloganuary writing prompt
What makes a good leader?
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When I think of a good leader, I think of the good bosses I’ve been lucky to have. In my opinion, a good leader treats their workers with respect, is compassionate while also holding their subordinates accountable for their errors. A good leader also challenges and encourages their subordinates to evolve and improve. An example of a good leader is my gen-z boss at Kroger who’s always been kind and respectful to me and who has gone out of his way to accommodate to my scheduling needs when my life got crazy. He also gave and my other coworker a $100 gift card for Christmas. At 23, he’s more mature and way better than some of the bosses I’ve had who were way older. It makes me want to always work hard at Kroger. An example of shitty leader is Joe Biden. IMO, my genz boss would make a far better president than Joe Biden.

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poetry: staple

I wrote this poem in January of 2023.

my drunk face at bad bunny dance party in January 2023

a drunk driver hits an ambulance-
and there is outcry, an uproar over the craziness of it all
we all judge and hate the drunk driver without compassion
without looking in the mirror, without acknowledging
how most of us have made alcohol a staple,
a must need for celebration-
a must have for everyone no matter what social class you’re in

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war

often times, religion is used as an excuse for war
Bloganuary writing prompt
If you could un-invent something, what would it be?
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If I had a magic wand and I could un-invent something, it would be the concept of war. Maybe it’s the idealist that still lives in me that thinks humankind could be more evolved that who we are now. It’s inhumane and absurd that in 2024, innocent lives are lost, entire family lines decimated because some countries need to “win” and think they’re far superior than the “other”side.

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three poems about love

I wrote these three poems in November of 2022 when I was still married. One thing I wanted to mention about the first poem is that even though my ex no longer serves me breakfast, he’s still super reliable. For example, my car decided to kiss another car this morning (car accident) and he was the first one I called to help as I was overwhelmed. Granted, we still live in the same house but he didn’t have to come and still came. I’m glad we are still able to be friends despite the fact that we’re divorced. I think that when it comes to love, familial and friendship love is the best kind of love there is out there for me.

my car was trying to kiss another car…
Bloganuary writing prompt
Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?
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little reminders

little reminders of how I’m loved

greet me on daily basis

breakfast served by my starter husband

my son asking me if I’m okay

my coworker saying one of my poems moved her

the cold breeze in the air kissing my face

my favorite song playing on the radio at the right time

it’s the little reminders that give me hope in humanity 

11/20/22

friends

friends provide everything a lover hasn’t been able to-

an unconditional love and acceptance 

where they provide a space for me to be who I really am

they don’t care if I’m dramatic or loud 

they encourage me when I’m down 

and they never leave me when I’m too much

11/19/22

my community 

community is my tia’s buenos dias on whatsapp

or mami’s phone calls to check up on me

community is greeting my fellow runners on my route

or laughing with my coworkers about the latest absurd policy

community is blasting yung gravy from my car radio

or vomiting my feelings out on paper or at open mic

community is everyone and everything I love

11/9/22

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: Peruvian ME

I wrote this poem in January of 2023.

I still wonder who Peruvian Me would have been-probably not wearing this beanie…lol

if my parents hadn’t chosen america as their new homeland
I wonder who I would’ve been
a woman of priviledge married to a man who loves me for me
or would it have been inevitable for me to turn out as a rebel who’d cause many scandals
would I have take my education more seriously because of the pressure from society and my parents
or would I have still struggled with my ADD and said fuck it
I wonder who Peruvian me would have been if I didn’t have a bilingual and bicultural identity