poetry: to be human

I wrote this poem in March of 2023.

sometime we lose our way and buy shit from Amazon we didn’t need

life is full of making mistakes and then regretting them
It can’t happen any other way
because to be human is to make mistakes
to be human is a series of misadventures
where sometimes we lose our way

From Overwhelmed to In Control:Techniques for Managing Everyday Stress

From Overwhelmed to In Control:
Techniques for Managing Everyday Stress by Julia Mitchell

Photo by Freepik

In today’s fast-paced world, stress has become an unwelcome companion for many of us, often creeping into our lives when we least expect it. Whether it stems from our professional responsibilities, personal relationships, or the myriad of challenges that daily life presents, understanding and managing stress is crucial for maintaining our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. This guide from Life on the BPD aims to shed light on the common stressors that pervade our lives, offering insights on how to identify them and practical strategies for handling these pressures effectively. 

Understand Your Stress

Carving out time for reflection is crucial for identifying the root causes of your stress. By setting aside moments each day or week to acknowledge instances when you felt overwhelmed, you can gain insights into what triggers your stress responses. This understanding is foundational, as it guides you toward effective stress management strategies. Reflecting on your experiences not only sheds light on the sources of your stress but also helps you recognize patterns and triggers, making it easier to address them moving forward.

Embrace Mindfulness

Mindfulness serves as a stabilizing force amidst the tumultuous waves of stress. Practices such as deep breathing exercises and meditation offer refuge by anchoring you in the present moment. This focus on the here and now acts as a buffer against the chaos of stress, providing a sense of calm and clarity. By integrating mindfulness into your daily routine, you can develop a resilient mindset that is better equipped to handle stress, ensuring that you remain centered and balanced even in challenging times.

Establish Boundaries for Stress Reduction

Setting clear boundaries is essential in safeguarding your mental health. By defining limits in work, relationships, and personal commitments, you can prevent stress from encroaching on your well-being. This practice helps in managing expectations and commitments, ensuring that your time and energy are spent on what truly matters. Establishing boundaries empowers you to navigate life with more ease and less stress, promoting a healthier and more balanced lifestyle.

Lean Into Physical Activity

Physical activity is a potent tool in the fight against stress. Engaging in exercises, whether it’s a brisk walk, yoga, or a session at the gym, can significantly relieve tension. The physical exertion releases endorphins, improving your mood and reducing stress. Regular physical activity not only benefits your physical health but also acts as a therapeutic release for emotional and psychological stress, contributing to overall well-being.

Explore Alternative Stress Relief Methods

Diverse approaches to stress management can offer fresh perspectives and solutions. Techniques such as yoga, acupuncture, and guided imagery provide unique pathways to relaxation and mental clarity. 

  • Yoga: Practicing yoga combines physical postures, breathing exercises, and meditation to reduce stress and enhance overall well-being. Yoga helps release tension in the body, while the meditative aspects can improve mental clarity and reduce anxiety.
  • Acupuncture: This ancient Chinese medicine technique involves inserting thin needles into specific points on the body to balance energy flow. It can help reduce stress by promoting relaxation, decreasing the body’s production of stress hormones, and improving sleep quality.
  • THCa (Tetrahydrocannabinolic Acid): THCa, a non-psychoactive precursor to THC found in available forms of THCa in raw cannabis, has been shown to have anti-inflammatory and neuroprotective effects. Its potential to reduce stress comes from its ability to modulate the body’s endocannabinoid system, which plays a key role in regulating mood and stress responses.
  • Ashwagandha: This herb, used in Ayurvedic medicine for centuries, is known for its adaptogenic properties, helping the body manage stress more effectively. Ashwagandha can lower cortisol levels, enhance brain function, and improve sleep patterns, making it a powerful tool for combating stress and anxiety.

Exploring these alternatives can uncover new methods to alleviate stress, catering to individual preferences and needs. By being open to different therapies, you can find the most effective and enjoyable ways to maintain your mental well-being, enhancing your ability to cope with stress.

The Importance of Social Support

Sharing your struggles with stress can be incredibly therapeutic. Opening up to trusted individuals creates a support network that can offer comfort and advice. This act of vulnerability can illuminate both the sources of your stress and potential solutions, making the burden easier to bear. The support of friends, family, or professionals not only provides emotional relief but also strengthens your resilience, making you better equipped to manage stress.

As we journey through the complexities of life, embracing a holistic approach to managing stress can lead to a more fulfilling and balanced existence. By identifying the sources of our stress and exploring both traditional and alternative methods for addressing them, we empower ourselves to navigate life’s ups and downs with grace and resilience. Remember, managing stress is not about eliminating challenges from our lives but about enhancing our ability to cope with them. With patience, practice, and persistence, we can transform our relationship with stress, turning our experiences into opportunities for growth and self-discovery. 

Join the journey at Life on the BPD, where trauma is turned into triumph. Dive deep into stories that resonate, learn from shared experiences, and become part of a community that embraces growth and healing. 

poetry: a lesson in dialectics

I wrote this poem in March of 2023.

one of my favorite shirts

How many times have I lied to myself
when I was young in believing some man’s love
would save me, would complete me
when all it ever did was decimate me
over and over again
but I refused to believe love could be anything
but beautiful
Until one day I learned to be honest with myself
and it was a lesson in dialectics
of how love can be both an ugly and beautiful thing

poesía: ardida

Escribí este poema en marzo del 2023.

siempre ardida pero siempre bonita

algunas personas me juzgaran, me llamaran ardida, amargada
porque yo cuento la verdad de mi cuento de drama y trauma
porque ya no me quedo calladita de lo que me inquieta
ya no me trago mi dolor, ya no me hago chiquita para la comodidad
de otras personas
ahora escribo, grito, y canto todo lo que me paso
todo lo que me dolió-porque por mucho tiempo guarde
dentro de mi muchos sentimientos y eso me hirió
ahora tomo espacio y anuncio mi llegada
para que todos sepan que soy una leona cobrando
las deudas de aquellas personan que me traumatizando

poetry: was I joe?

I wrote this poem in March of 2023. My reference is to Joe Goldberg from the show “YOU” and not Joe Biden( who is in his own right a monster as well.lol)

random thoughts from my 15 year old self

I sit around in horror-
flagellating myself for comparing myself
to a monster
I know that this was the only way to cope and process
with emotions that threatened to crush me
but if I had to be honest with myself
it makes me question the reality I was living in
and maybe the psychotic who resided inside of me

poetry: too wild

I wrote this poem in March of 2023.

only tacos have an invitation to my heart…always and forever

On days like today, I feel too wild, too untamed
to be loved, to be handled by anyone
I feel like too much and I won’t find anyone who’s enough
and I wonder if I’ll really be alone forever
because right now that’s what my future looks like
and it’s not me trying to diss any potential love candidates
it’s me acknowledging how much of an earthquake,
a hurricane, a tsunami I can be
and even though I’ve done the work to tame my inner demons
It still feels like there is still so much work left to do
before I feel confident enough to invite anyone else into my chaos

Eliza

Daily writing prompt
What is your middle name? Does it carry any special meaning/significance?

My middle name is Elizabeth. I’m not sure why my parents chose this middle name other than the fact that it was the most generic white sounding name easy to pronounce and a few cousins and one aunt had this middle name. I was never been attached to it until my 30s when I took the shortened version of it, “Eliza” and unintentionally chose this as my alter ego and later on as a pseudonym for my writing. After the great depression of 2016 and 2017, followed what I now called the “great manic episode of 2018” in which Eliza first appeared. During that time, I did many unhealthy and toxic things like go on an array of dating apps, drink heavily, and just indulge in these terrible and self destructive behaviors.

Eliza in 2018

I used Eliza as the profile name for those dating apps and also, when I started blogging again in 2019. After much therapy and introspection, I’ve determined that Eliza is my shadow side, my alter ego that’s been much needed to deal with my depression, my anger, my madness-basically the worst of my mental illness. She was much needed to be able to deal when my emotions got overwhelming and I didn’t know how to keep going. I’ll say that while she’s caused much mischief, as I’ve started to recover from mental illness, she’s been instrumental in healing. I’ve learned to used this side of me to do badass and awesome things like conquer my driving phobia, learn to swim, travel to my homeland, write rage poetry, and perform at open mic.

me using Eliza’s confidence to perform

As time passed and I recovered more and more, I learned that eventually, I’d get to integration of self and I’d had to let go of her. Well, sort of. It took a while to get to the integration of self and this took many steps (I’ll write more about this in another blog post). The last step to get to my integration where I would become my most authentic self was my divorce which was 6 months ago. I knew as soon that afternoon after my divorce was finalized, I’d have to let go of Eliza, as a pseudonym, an alter ego, a protective entity to protect me. That afternoon, I switched all of my social media profiles and my two blogs to my real name.

meet integrated Patty-integrated and empowered

It was a very scary thing to do but a much needed one to finish this process of integration I started a few years ago. It was hard because for so long I hung onto this part of me that had gotten through the roughest of times and also, using my real name everywhere was extremely uncomfortable but I had to do it. I’m not going to lie and say that Eliza is completely gone because she’s not but she’s integrated into who I am now and I no longer use her as an excuse when my anger gets the best of me and a rage poem comes out. The best way to put it is that I’ve fully accepted that she’s a part of Patty but no longer controls me, defines me or is even the worst of me. She just is. I’ve learned the past few years how to manage this part of me in a much healthier manner that’s been productive and helpful to me in achieving my goals. Here are three poems I’ve written about her:


shout out to these folks who were there for Eliza when no one else was….hahaha

Eliza and Patty

If you’re gonna love Patty-you’re going to have to live with Eliza
She’s the dark and loud side of me
I try to keep her at bay , I try to ignore her
But then something angers me and she appears
I used to loathe her and say-hey, that’s not me-but now I accept
She’s always been a part of me
She makes me brave and strong-she makes me crazy and creative
I haven’t had writers block since I’ve stop trying to suppress her
And while it’s embarrassing that I have an alter ego
She was necessary for progress and growth

10/13/22

Shadow

my shadow waits and waits to be integrated
she’s been patient long enough
she wants me to feel the true power of being whole
she’s stayed too long in the sidelines as I called her “bad”
and a “complete stranger” and I was ashamed of her
and at times she jolted me and came out during my bouts
of impulsivity or my super angry poetry
and now I finally understand she’s me
Well the part within me I hate to acknowledge
but I’m no longer afraid of her
and understand her and am ready for her
to be acknowledged and take her rightful place within
She will no longer be treated like a dirty mistress
Nah, she’ll rule like a queen and I’ll feel whole and empowered

11/26/22

I run with my shadow

my transformation and rebirth meant giving voice to my shadow
who’s vindictive, petty, and mean
I’ve never really allowed her to breathe
much less be seen
and now she’s almost everywhere-
taking space in uncomfortable spaces
learning she’s not bad-
she just needed attention and to feel valued
I’ve finally accepted she’s an important part of me
who needs to be heard, seen and loved

12/10/22

poetry: international women’s day

I wrote this poem in March of 2023.

two badass women against the patriarchy

women are recognized all over the world today
but none of us are equal
we still have to fight the same bullshit every day
if we’re human and show emotion, we’re labeled crazy or dramatic
if we want to show off our bodies, we’re labeled slutty or conceited
if we don’t give in to our partners because they’re “in the mood”
we are called prudes, frigid bitches or worse,
we feel obligated to give in to avoid being raped
it we’re educated and try to succeed in our careers
men are intimidated by us and try hard to dim our light
and if we are loud and take up space
we are labeled as too much and abandoned
it’s like as much as the media try to paint a picture of equality
it’s all a fucking lie
because in my 42 years on this earth
I haven’t lived anywhere where my existence is valued
as much as man’s

poetry: my covid trauma speaks for me

I wrote this poem in March of 2023. I guess I was angry that day. Lol.

ask me how I self medicated during the height of the pandemic

I’m still salty about how you quarantined assholes
treated us essential workers
looking down on us, treating us like the plague
making judgy statuses about we were all subpar
I hope Karma got to some of you
and you didn’t just get COVID one time
but you got it three or four times
I hope y’all got a lifetime of insomnia
and cholesterol problems you have to take pills for the rest of your pathetic lives
I hope y’all got a guilty conscience and life fucked you over and over again