poetry: i’ll always have your back

me and my oldest son in 1998

In the beginning, it was just me and you –
and it was hard making sense of being a mom
the heavy weight of caring for another human
felt like it was going to crush me at times
and I tried my best with my lack of knowledge
with my lack of judgment
so your lullabies were the goo goo dolls and sugar ray
and your bedtime stories were stephen king and cosmo
the pediatrician did tell me to read to you-
at 17, I thought he meant anything
at 17, I was far from June Cleaver
and I felt so inept at times
and while other moms read parenting books
on how to become mommy dearest
I focused on school books to graduate from high school
so we’d have a fighting chance
so while you never had a typical mom
you still lucked out with a mom
who’ll always fill you up with love and strength
a mom who’ll always have your back

poesía: potencial

Here’s the English Version of this poem:

Poetry: No Clue

Fui una estúpida al pensar que tu serias algo diferente
alguien que se quedaría
pero repetí el mismo error
enamorarme de otro hombre confundido
enamorarme de potencial y cerrar los ojos a la realidad
esto me pasa por seguir creyendo en cuentos de hadas
donde el príncipe salva a la princesa
donde el príncipe se queda para siempre
y no se va cuando le da la gana

Inti

I wrote this poem in September of 2022.

Me enjoying Inti



running in the sun warms my body, warms my thoughts
it invokes my need to worship it like my ancestors
before the colonizers declared it wrong and pagan
but they couldn’t erase my blood and my DNA
and my deep connection to the Sun,
my ancestral GOD
Always bringing me to the surface of gratitude and love


poetry: raining in paradise

I wrote this poem in September in 2022.

me in Hawaii in 1994

without a care in the world-we danced in the rain
enjoying the last vestiges of childhood
feeling the wet ground against our feet
stomping and laughing
and enjoying the miracle of this moment
as it rained in paradise

poesía: encerrada

Here’s the English Version of this poem:

Poetry: On My Mind

me encierro en sueños y fantasías del pasado
porque mi presente está lleno de amargura y odio
sin saber cómo convertir la tragedia de mi vida
en una historia de victoria
por eso prefiero encerrarme en la nostalgia
de mi pasado romántica cuando todavía tenía esperanza

poesía: una carta a mi ex-amante

Here’s the version in English:

Poetry: Letter to My Former Lover

Ahora veo que tu tenias razón en acabar nuestro cuento de amor
Ahora veo que tu adiós fue una bendición
y no es que porque te odio o porque te tengo rencor
no, al contrario te deseo lo mejor
te deseo que el universo te bendiga con felicidad y paz
entiendo ahora que lo de nosotros no podía continuar
por que tu nunca fuistes y nunca serías el hombre
que me ayudaría evolucionar
o que apreciara mi creatividad
o que pudiera luchar a mi lado cuando la realidad de la vida
se vuelve un huracán difícil de navegar
me hiciste un favor al irte para espacio para alguien
con la fortaleza y valor que tu nunca tuviste

poetry: sinning

I wrote this poem in September of 2022.

me at my first communion in 1989

I used to lie about my sins when I went to confession-
to have something, anything to confess to arouse interest in the priest
to not feel the burden of goodness on me-
and the priest gave me prayers and rosaries to atone for my made up sins