poetry: best birthday gift

I wrote this poem in March of 2022.

best birthday gift ever

He came into my life on a cold february night-
He decided to make a dramatic entrance
on my 24th birthday
He didn’t mean to steal my thunder as he tried
to make his entrance-a month beforehand
But fortunately the doctors stopped
his almost too sudden arrival
But that cold February night-
was the right time for him
I wanted to go the natural route
but he had other plans with the horrible pain he caused
EPIDURAL PLEASE-LIKE RIGHT NOW
OR I DON’T KNOW HOW I’M GETTING
THIS CHILD OUT
Within minutes he was out and once again
I was in love but this time with the life I created

poetry: stumble

I wrote this poem in March of 2023.

my and my sensitive soul…sigh

I stumble and fall all the time
but no one knows about it
I’m great at masking my pain
with makeup, pretty dress, and statuses
about how I’m living my best life
when in reality, I fantasize about disappearing
into a black hole
because life feels like a terrible chore
that messes with my sensitive soul

poetry: mother of three

I wrote this in February of 2019

I’m still asking myself this question

Mother of three
What does that even mean?
Responsibilities, obligations, duties
Alcohol and going out are taboo for me

Songs of sacrifices and martyrdom
Are the tunes I hum
Dinner with friends and late
Night concerts are just WRONG!

Soccer games and play dates
Are my important dates
No time to spend
With my lifetime mates?

Mother of three,
Will I ever be free?

poetry: graduation

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

it’s time to reclaim the corny romantic in me

I’m graduating from writing about revenge and everyone who has harmed me
I’m switched this narrative from woman scorned and full of spite
To a woman reborned opened to love and joy in life
While it’s fun to be petty and mean
It’s better for me to reclaim the corny romantic in me
the one I’ve kept hidden for 18 months
the one who cries at the end of rom coms
the one who’s desperate to fall in love again
to continue this narrative about how I’m in love with my solitude
no longer suits me
when I have a universe of love to give

poetry: am I even your type?

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

I’m ridiculous when I have a crush….

am I reading too much into the attention and energy you’re giving me
the casual messages, the comments on my posts
the nervous vibe and the hug you gave me the first time we met
It felt like chemistry
Am I even your type?
Or is this the beginning of beautiful friendship
One that will last, one that will be healthy
Without the complications and expectations
that lust or love brings

poetry: an open letter to year 42

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

me on my birthday last year, this heroine spent her birthday working…

I’m at year 42 and I’m only getting started on my heroine’s journey
I’ve learned so much about myself and my toxic patterns in year 41
I understand now how my overreactions, my need to avoid conflict
my need to please were all trauma responses learned from childhood
where my emotions were never validated
I now hold a world of knowledge, confidence, and power within me
and on year 42, I ready to act like the badass Incan Queen
I make myself out to be
Except this year I’ll act out of love and compassion
and not out of revenge and spite
even when I’m pissed, angry at someone or at something
I need to dig in deep and feel that grief
instead of immediately throwing out accusations
and blaming everyone but me
Understand it’s me projecting my insecurities
This year I’ll continue my heroine’s journey in healing and recovery
but I’ll try to do it more with grace, with intent and compassion
for myself and others
I’ll cover myself in love from God, the universe, and my ancestors
with all of that love act out of a pure and intentional energy
that will continue to help grow and evolve

Last day of year 42.🥹🎉

It’s the end of Chapter 42 in my life story. While my life is far from ideal, I’m still grateful and feel incredibly blessed for this past year of growth. I think that two words that describe this year have been: community and bravery. I found community with friends, at open mic, online with other writers, and continue to strengthen my relationships with my sons. I also reconnected even more with my beautiful culture and homeland . I was brave this year in many ways, but I was very intentional about it. It was hard at times to do certain things and continue to find the willpower and determination to do them, but I did it. I’m not sure what chapter 43 has for me. I don’t have any big plans aside from writing my book and continuing to be my moody and creative Pisces self with an occasional ray of sunshine. It’s been a good year. 🥹🎉 #piscesseason #endof42 #birthdayweek https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3qBI13MkRN/?igsh=YWhxaWZjMHgycGJw