Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: on the shitty days

I wrote this poem in May of 2023.

on the shitty days I remember there is another open mic to go to

not every day can be filled with peace, calm, joy or excitement
Some days are absolutely shitty and depressing
Some days it’s hard to get up in the morning
without screaming fuck repeatedly on your way to work
Some days are overwhelming to push through
as hormones and emotions fuck you up
Some days are for questioning your life choices over
and over again allowing doubt and insecurity
to cloud you its accomplice self invalidation
Some days are for getting up only to look forward to the end of it
when you can sleep with the hope for a better day

Posted on by pattytacuri · 1 Comment

poetry: dreams and goals

I wrote this sometime in 2006 when I was contemplative about life.

stop waiting

dreams and goals are important
without them life doesn’t have purpose
without them we get stuck in a routine of misery
Without them we end up projecting our insecurities on others
and making ourselves the victims of our lives

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: overthinking

I wrote this poem in May of 2023.

some days though

just when I’m about to close my eyes
the overthinking starts and robs me of my sleep
I obsess and obsess over something thoughtless I’ve said
I try my best to remember the four agreements
I try my best to take control of my emotions
But here I am still losing sleep over something
that won’t even matter in a day or two

Posted on by pattytacuri · 4 Comments

Poetry: Bilingual

I wrote this in January of 2022.

me at work living that bilingual life

Stuck in between Spanish and English
is a bilingual nightmare
constantly switching between languages
gives me a lifelong jaqueca
and at times I don’t get it right
it’s switching between two identities
Latina or American
it gets hard and confusing at times
but it’s who I am
Hablo con mamá en Español
I speak to my sons in English
Hablo con los pacientes en Español
I speak to my coworkers in English
and to code switch parece una comedia
I’m told that I’m fun and loud en Español
pero soy profesional y reservada in English
eventually I learn to meld
my American and Latina personalities
and I find my most authentic
bilingual and bicultural identity

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: teenager

aqui esta la version en Espanol: https://lifeonthebpd.com/2022/09/01/poesia-sin-claridad/

I channel the teenager that resides in me
on days when I’m about to lose my shit
I daydream what it be like to allow
the teenager in me to take over
imagine going to the airport with my passport
and escape to somewhere, anywhere
I’m free to be nobody
where I’m not a mom, a coworker,
a daughter, a friend
somewhere where I can relax and write
flowery poetry about sunsets and trees
instead of writing poems about capitalism,
kids and big karen energy

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: love letter

I wrote this poem in april of 2023.

profound thoughts as I write my love letter

my poetry has never been to get attention, likes, comments, validation
and while I appreciate all those things
I have to be honest –
my poetry is and will always be for me to speak my truth,
to process my feelings, to heal from life’s tragedies
to understand myself and learn to love myself as I am
my poetry is the ultimate love letter to myself and the universe

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: by the fireside

I wrote this poem in April of 2022.

corazon, no puedo dejar de pensar en ti-Selena

by the fireside I fall in love again and this time I’m sure
because before I met him I knew I was enough
before I met him I knew I was complete
before he was even a thought in my mind
he knew all about me
before I knew anything about him
he’s read my poetry
and nothing I’ve written scares him
to him I’m more than a pretty girl
to him I’m more than my diagnosis
to him I’m more than my chaotic past
because unlike the others, he sees my humanity
he sees my perseverance and resilience
and to him, I’ve become his everything

Posted on by pattytacuri

poesía: reina

escribí este poema en abril del 2023.

siempre fui una reina

mi empoderamiento no fue un proceso fácil-
tuve que deshacerme de la noción
que alguien me complementaria, me salvaría
tuve que enfrentar mis fuertes miedos e inseguridades
y tuve que llenarme con un gran amor a mi misma
que siempre reservaba para otras personas
y aunque a veces me quería rendir-nunca pare
seguí adelante con un fuego dentro de mi
que se rehusaba a apagarse
me prendia la luz del camino cuando la oscuridad
de mi depresión quería ganar
y después de dos años ahora por fin
Reconozco la reina que siempre fui
la que recién le doy una oportunidad de respirar, vivir
y triunfar