I’d rather be berated and hated than ignored and treated with indifference call me a lunatic, call me a bitch call me the worst mistake of your life JUST CALL ME ANYTHING! Then I’ll know I won because I’ve imprinted on your memory
nothing ever happens to my exes after they leave- they don’t blink, they don’t flinch, they don’t need therapy and I’m so incredibly jealous of that! They’re carefree and without any feelings- Absconding without blame or any responsibility While I’m left in a spiral of shame and regret and many times losing my sanity How many more mental breakdowns will I have before accepting= love is always a dangerous game for me- no matter how casual and detached I try to be my nature will always be to give, give, give Until I lose parts of my identity Maybe this is how I keep attracting narcissists?
no, Susan or Ken, your ex wasn’t a narcissist, they just got tired of your bullshit. honestly, though, we need to stop arm chair diagnosing people with this word. it’s turning into a “catch all term” to make us feel better about ourselves when a relationship ends or we have a fallout with someone. I’ve been accused of it and I’ve accused others of it and it just made things worse. So, yeah, let’s stop using the word “narcissist” unless we are a legit mental health professional or we know for sure that person has been diagnosed as a narcissist.
the facade of equality is cloaked in good intentions and lovely words- and while laws have been passed to prevent discrimination and to try to level the game of success, it’s all a sham, it’s all a con we still live in a world where the color of your skin and social status and gender determine your prosperity
you were my hope in love restored everything I had dreamed of everything I had wished for and it was nice for a while- getting lost in our love thinking it was safe, thinking it could be my permanent sanctuary until one day like clockwork you changed your mind and decided I wasn’t enough and I was left wondering “what the fuck is wrong with me?”
At 5 am, I woke up and wrote a 4 page poem about how I wasn’t enough and proceeded to crash my car and my therapist asked if I wanted to die- And I was like “nah, I just couldn’t reign my impulsivity in” at least this time I got control of the car and didn’t fuck anyone else up
como una tonta doy lo mejor de mi y me conformo con lo más mínimo para sentir algo de amor como una tonta me achicó hasta no existir para acomodarme a tu ego como una tonta me quedo calladita y guardo mis opiniones dentro de mi para que no me dejes como una tonta pienso que esta vez tendré una fin feliz por tanto esfuerzo que hago como una tonta siempre repito la misma tragedia de amor sin aprender mi lección
The rain falls steadily in August and I feel a sense of dread, a sense of hopelessness and I want to dwell on everything I lack, on everything I’m a failure at- But I stop myself because while sadness has served as inspiration and has a place in my mind and life I can’t allow it to take over my life and consume me because this is not my whole story I’m more than being sad and angry
I keep my screams and cries inside for the sake of my pride I’ll pretend I’m happy and fine even as waves of infinite grief wash over me and I’m drenched in humiliation and shame for allowing myself to become the pawn in a game played by another guy who’s only looking for a temporary distraction
I’m more than a temporary destination for men to lay their love in I will no longer lay down and play princess and adjust and accommodate to their egos and needs when they can never make me a priority when they can never acknowledge my humanity from now I won’t allow anyone near me unless they show themselves worthy of my time and energy
you told me I’m not wife material so you dropped me like I was nothing but not before you took me to your bed a few times but not before filling my head with the illusion that you wanted a future with me- Are you sick in the head? Is this how you always operate? Finding an insecure girl to get your primal needs met and later on dropping them like a bad habit
I was trapped in a mental cage of misery I didn’t know how to rewrite my story and while poetry helped me it was with grief and therapy I finally felt free I learned to let go of old resentments and grudges and healed old emotional bruises and while I still have minor annoyances my anger and angst no longer control me
Our relationship slowly wilted Too many broken promises Too many sacrifices on my part I gave you my youth and you two children and you couldn’t give me an ounce of affection I tried to melt your icy cold wall and you denied my warmth And I tried over and over again to save us! But how do you save something that continues to die? Date nights, long conversations,accommodating to your needs continuously, and marriage counseling but all of it was useless and completely pointless So I gave up and let our marriage fall into a coffin along with your broken promises to change I even kept the coffin open with a slight hope we could fix us But one day I got tired of waiting, waiting and waiting and I decided to close the coffin and nail it shut- It was time to bury our lackluster love