I wrote this poem in April of 2022.

I never would change
I find you
I need you
Hey wake up
You canβt be here
I wrote this poem in April of 2025.

I blame my ADD, Mami and hypersensitivity for my poetic tendencies
I never had the attention span or time to learn to play an instrument or paint
instead at 15, I learned to write poems out of the shards in my heart left
from a breakup after reading Becquer, and ever since then
Itβs been an ongoing love affair with poetry
one that is a refuge from the outside world, one that has been therapeutic
when I felt the sky fall on me many times
and while on most days I still suffer from imposter syndrome
and donβt consider myself a real poet
I donβt and wonβt ever let that deter me from processing
the wonderful, terrible, and crazy things in my life through poetry
I wrote this poem in April of 2022.

I am a witch and sometimes a bitch
if youβre lucky
Youβll see the sweet side of me where I’m your real life magical wet dream come true
If youβre unlucky, youβll meet the BPD me
the worst bitch youβll regret meeting in your entire life
because if you treat me badly, Iβll make sure
youβre laugh at when I read a poem about you
at open mic
I wrote this poem in April of 2025.

abuela, today is your 94th birthday and I still look for you
in mine and papiβs face
I still wonder how your story would have turned out
if you hadnβt been taken away from us at age 50
I still wonder if your spirit was with me and my son
on that magical day 2 years ago
I still weave parts of your story into mine
since our paths were so alike
and today I wonder if along your goddess cleavage,
I also inherited your fiery spirit and generosity
I wonder if right now youβre looking down on me
confused with the life I lead
or accepting and understanding I was made different
from the women in my family
I wrote this poem in March of 2023.

we lie to ourselves continuously about our needs
to save face, to avoid conquering our fears
to not feel insecure
weβll tell ourselves we are better off alone and independent
when in reality as humans
we are meant to be social
we are meant to share ourselves with others
but itβs cooler to say, βIβm good with my solitude,
Iβm my own best friendβ
because deep down inside we donβt want to get hurt again
I wrote this poem in March of 2025.

subtitles jump from my phone screen violently
one of the few films from 1950βs mexico
that address domestic violence
one of the few films to portray the man
as the crazy one
but instead of him going to prison
for his many crimes against his wife
he ends up locked up in a monastery
I wrote this poem in March of 2025.

in total darkness I fell for a while
for a year I didnβt listen to music
For a year I donβt remember being a mom
and while I still function and went to work
Several years later
I realize how I had forgotten all about
the darkness I had fallen in a while ago
my mind blocked it in an attempt to move on
in an attempt to heal
I wrote this poem in March of 2021.

I donβt want to but have to be the boss
the boss of my family
the boss in my relationships
the boss of my life
it sucks to take charge and dominate all of the spaces
it sucks to have so many responsibilities thrust upon me
it sucks to always have to shrink myself for egos
it sucks to never be in a space where for once
I can be soft
I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

Iβd never say I lost time with any of my love stories-
they all taught me something about myself
They all inspired me to write poetry
and two of them help me create my three kings
even if some of my love stories left me decimated
and almost destroyed me
they were all worthy for the love I felt
the growth and progress I had