the sexual tension between me and ghosting everyone is insane
we lie to ourselves continuously about our needs to save face, to avoid conquering our fears to not feel insecure weβll tell ourselves we are better off alone and independent when in reality as humans we are meant to be social we are meant to share ourselves with others but itβs cooler to say, βIβm good with my solitude, Iβm my own best friendβ because deep down inside we donβt want to get hurt again
subtitles jump from my phone screen violently one of the few films from 1950βs mexico that address domestic violence one of the few films to portray the man as the crazy one but instead of him going to prison for his many crimes against his wife he ends up locked up in a monastery
feet washed and kissed in front of others everyone calls her blessed and lucky no one knows about the scars she hides beneath her lilac modest dress no one believes her if she told them what a monster he was behind closed doors
weβre in our saorsa era, redemptive and honest a complete 180 turn to who we were before a story I like so much better than our last one always said I was a much better friend and girlfriend
hot summer nights on your porch meant the world to me and inspired an unusual amount of poems Iβm starting to think that writing poems is how I hold onto the magic of our memories
longing to escape responsibility of my suburban life I became 21 again and did drugs and fucked stranger men I never meant any harm, I just wanted to know what it was like to not be looked at as someoneβs mother, someoneβs wife
in total darkness I fell for a while for a year I didnβt listen to music For a year I donβt remember being a mom and while I still function and went to work Several years later I realize how I had forgotten all about the darkness I had fallen in a while ago my mind blocked it in an attempt to move on in an attempt to heal
I donβt want to but have to be the boss the boss of my family the boss in my relationships the boss of my life it sucks to take charge and dominate all of the spaces it sucks to have so many responsibilities thrust upon me it sucks to always have to shrink myself for egos it sucks to never be in a space where for once I can be soft
not much of choice, get married or become a whore at 19, she was trapped between a sword and another sword either way sheβs trapped and kept away from the life she really wanted to live either way, her fate would be sealed with her ink of shame
I give you the gift of my heart with everything in it so please be careful with it I donβt want it to be broken apart again if you decide to leave on a whim
Iβd never say I lost time with any of my love stories- they all taught me something about myself They all inspired me to write poetry and two of them help me create my three kings even if some of my love stories left me decimated and almost destroyed me they were all worthy for the love I felt the growth and progress I had
Iβve written dozens and dozens of poems about our story of lust and love but today I found your purpose with you I found inspiration and motivation to make myself better hoping you could really love me hoping you wouldnβt see me as just a sexual commodity hoping to make myself worthy of you and while now I see it was a delusion of mine to do all of these things for your love it still helped me to become better than before it still brought me the resilience, strength and courage to start living the life I always wanted to live and plan the future I had always dreamed of with you and after you- I became the empowered woman I am today and for that I thank you
me and my family have immigration jokes for day on end and some of my friends think thatβs sick and awful but its one of the only things that helps me and my family keep our sanity in Trumpβs American is making fun of our misery and misfortune
itβs how weβve survived generations of corrupt governments and wannabe dictators its how weβve passed resilience and strength to future generations
sure, we may cry at first as the life weβve worked hard for starts falling apart and our plans for the future are shattered because of a few megarich and corrupt maga idiots who run our government but right after we wipe our tears and break out in jokes and laughter especially now that whatβs supposed to be the land of the free gets more and more fascist and we swim closer and closer to nazi waters the only thing we can do is try to find a way to smile, to laugh, to find a bit of joy no matter how fucked up in may seem in this dystopian clusterfuck
rose gold cross ripped from her neck handcuffs cutting into her smalls wrists mami and papi canβt explain why theyβre nowhere to be found she thought officers were supposed to be good people but they hurl insults at her and call her a criminal and at 10 she can hardly grasped the severity of the situation they tell her over and over again βweβre taking you back to where you came fromβ and itβs beyond her compression because her birth certificate says Illinois because America is the only home sheβs ever known
nunca serΓ‘ la mujer de tu vida y me toca aceptar esta realidad que alguien como tu siempre me mirara como alguien comΓΊn y nunca pensarΓ‘s que quizΓ‘s soy algo mΓ‘s que una mujer bella nunca notaras que soy el fuego de inspiraciΓ³n que puede ser tu musa