I wrote this poem in June of 2024.

my exes should all get a participation trophy
for dating me, for marrying me,
for putting up my madness
for becoming muses of my poetry
unwillingly, unintentionally
for surviving the rollercoaster
that is me
I wrote this poem in June of 2024.

I hope this story is buried for a final time
and you donβt pop up again
and I have to play whack an asshole
once again
blocking you on yet another platform
would the universe be kind enough this time
for it to be good riddance forever
cause Iβm tired of my past mistakes
to constantly come out of nowhere
to disturb my present
Image by Freepik
Recession-Proof: Staying Sharp When the Bottom Drops Out by Ian Garza
When the economy tanks, the air changes. People move differently. You feel it in the supermarket aisle, where heads tilt at price tags like they’re trying to solve a riddle in a foreign language. Maybe youβre there, pen hovering over a notebook, drafting your next pitch while wondering if peanut butter can be considered a luxury item now. Recessions have a way of pushing people into the deep end, but oddly, thatβs where the best swimmers emerge. The trick is less about bracing for impact and more about learning to glide with the current. Here are seven ways to make the chaos work for you, journal in hand and mind on fire.
Cut Costs, Not Corners
You donβt need to become a coupon-clipping caricature to start slicing your expenses with surgical precision. Start by conducting a cold, heartless audit of your monthly costsβsubscriptions, takeout, half-used gym membershipsβand ask yourself which of them you’d defend in a court of law. Reallocate the scraps toward things that either earn money or preserve your sanity. Groceries, for instance, offer massive wiggle room if youβre smart about what hits the cartβsave money on groceries by swapping brand loyalty for nutritional label scrutiny. Donβt eat out of boredom or habit, eat with purpose. A recession isnβt a punishment; itβs a new set of rules, and frugality is a game you can win.
Skill Up or Ship Out
Those who thrive during downturns donβt wait for job boards to dictate their worth. If your industryβs shaking like a leaf, shift your gaze toward sectors that donβt flinch when markets doβhealthcare, IT, education, logistics. Thereβs a buffet of free online courses that can turn idle time into economic leverage. Learn Excel if you’re breathing. Pick up copywriting, coding, or UX design between episodes of that comfort show youβve already seen four times. Skills are portable power, and adding new ones doesnβt just insulate your incomeβit inflates your confidence. The job may not be instant, but the momentum is.
The Side Hustle Shuffle
You donβt need to start a Shopify store selling ornamental cacti to qualify as an entrepreneur, but having a second income stream isnβt a luxury anymoreβitβs a survival tactic. Whether itβs reselling thrifted clothes or offering dog walking in your neighborhood, a side hustle doesnβt have to be revolutionary. It just has to work. Take an honest inventory of what you’re good at and find the angleβstart a side hustle that fits into your existing life, not the other way around. It might start small, maybe laughably so, but consistency snowballs. One gig turns into a rhythm, and suddenly, your βjust in caseβ income becomes your βthank God I didβ lifeline.
Write It Out
Thereβs something quietly defiant about writing things down when the world feels untethered. Journaling isnβt about profound revelations or poetic flairβitβs about evidence. Document your spending, your mood, your micro-victories. Create a log of sanity that future-you will be grateful for. The benefits of journaling during tough economic spells are both psychological and strategicβit can help you track your patterns, spot opportunities, and process fear without letting it drive. For writers, itβs a gym session. For everyone else, itβs cheap therapy that never talks back.
Invest in a Home Warranty
Nothing torpedoes a fragile budget like a busted HVAC or a rogue refrigerator. When repair costs punch a surprise hole in your wallet, having a home warranty isnβt just smartβitβs protective armor. These plans can cover major systems and appliances, offering a reliable safety net when unexpected breakdowns hit. The key is picking coverage that doesnβt just slap a Band-Aid on the issue. Find one that includes the removal of defective units and protects against breakdowns caused by botched repairs or sloppy installsβthis page is a good resource for comparing that kind of nuanced coverage. Youβre not betting on things going wrong. Youβre admitting they will, and preparing accordingly.
Community Over Chaos
Isolation is expensive, both emotionally and practically. Reaching out to neighbors, local groups, or church networks isn’t just good mannersβitβs fiscal strategy. Thereβs a staggering array of local community resources offering everything from food distribution to financial counseling, yet many go untapped. Itβs not charity. Itβs infrastructureβone that exists precisely for this kind of moment. Volunteering also doubles as networking. You help others while subtly reinforcing your own safety net, a win-win most spreadsheets canβt quantify.
Mind Over Money
Financial fear corrodes slowly, eating away at confidence and sleep and even relationships. Address it like you would any other health issueβdiagnose, manage, treat. Donβt ignore your stress or trivialize it. And donβt obsessively refresh stock tickers or headline feeds. Use breathing techniques, therapy apps, and if needed, professional help. Learn how to manage financial stress in a way that doesnβt involve locking yourself in a doomscroll loop until 2 a.m. The money part is real. The mental toll is realer. You need both ends intact if youβre going to make it through with anything resembling grace.
Thereβs no single blueprint for surviving a recession because recessions donβt care about blueprints. They bulldoze predictability and force reinvention. But they also burn away distractions and push people toward clarity. Whether youβre writing it out, hustling at night, or just trying to keep your fridge running without inviting financial ruin, the throughline remains the same: adapt with intention. You donβt have to thrive every day. You just need to keep movingβand that, on the worst days, is a kind of success all its own.
Discover the transformative power of poetry and personal storytelling at Life on the BPD, where creativity blooms and every verse is a step towards healing and empowerment.
I wrote this poem in June of 2024. It was inspired by the disappearance of little Latina girl in my area that I didn’t feel was getting enough media attention.

I pray for the little brown girl lost in Gainesville
the one thatβs my sonβs age
the one that looks like my sister at that age
the one who has my mamiβs name
I pray sheβs found alive
I pray that she finds warmth in her parents
arms soon
I pray more of a big deal is made out of
her disappearance
and sheβs found quickly
because Iβm sure that if this little girl
had been a jonbenet look alike
more would have been done to find her
and bring her back to her family
her community
thatβs been missing her greatly
I wrote this poem in May of 2024.

Iβm ready for steak dinners and an expensive bottle of chardonnay
shared over awkward getting to know you conversations
with no expectations to put out
Iβll be a completely different woman when Iβm dating again
a woman selective about who allows near her
a woman who no longer seeks validation and attention
from the wrong men
I wrote this poem in May of 2024.

a glass of champagne in my hand as I raise a toast
who I used to be
a woman mentally ill and needy
a woman who gave men easy access to her hips
a woman who thought intimacy could only be created
and felt in between her sheets
we say goodbye to the his woman lovingly
as we usher a new era of me
a woman who knows her worth
and wonβt settle of anything less
than she deserves
I wrote this poem in May of 2024.

I look forward to the day when Iβm no longer known as the writer with BPD
when I no longer make my mental illness a part of my brand
when Iβm no longer dependent on my ex husband
and antipsychotics to survive
when I finally start to resemble something like a normal person
and not the vehement emotional mess I usually am

Appearances were kept well for 15 years
the husband, the salaried job, the 3 offsprings
I pretended like everything was fine
And yet there were ominous signs
I never felt like my authentic self
and always felt false
I tried on this so called suburban bliss
and mediocres routines
but knew it just wasnβt me
So I ended up in profound misery
And one day I wanted to forever sleep
To forget my mediocre reality
I took 15 numb feeling pills
one for every pseudo happy year
I wanted to slip into a forever dream
to never wake to my false stability
I wrote this poem in May of 2024.

you could have been my forever muse, my forever thot
But like the others before you
you donβt know what to do with a woman like me
maybe my ingenuity is to blame for this
wanting to live in a delusional daydream of love
instead of grounding myself in reality
and radically accepting love is just a four letter word
in my vocabulary that wrecks and ruins my sanity

The numbness comes back
and there is nothing to fill the void
Running, drinking, dancing
Nothing stops the thoughts
about deleting myself
from this cesspool called life
Whatβs the point?
To love and get your heart
crushed over and over and over again
I had come so far
and to think this one
was well different
But once again
I was wrong, so wrong
Love stories arenβt meant
for people like me
Because Iβm too much,
Too hard, too crazy
To ever be truly loved
But I keep going, I keep continuing
One step at a time,
One day at a time
to live
Because thatβs the right and brave
thing to do
I wrote this poem in May of 2024.

I wanted to kill my sex drive so I stopped taking buspar
and while my sex drive has finally waned
the side effects are slowly killing me
between the mental fog, the constant headaches,
the nausea followed by the loss of appetite
thereβs a reason they tell you to wean slowly
from psychiatric drugs, to do it under the care
of a medical provider
stopping cold turkey lends to a spiral of madness
and a physical ailment I never intended

Iβm in love and I hold my breath
wondering when this wondrous feeling
will end.
When will you stop looking at me
like Iβm magic?
When will I stop fantasizing about you?
When will we both tire of each other?
When will we end up in a predictable rut?
So I hold on to this moment when Iβm in love
and hold my breath hoping that itβs a long time
before the end.

I painted myself as pretty picture
And neatly put my myself
in a pretty little box
that he could take out
and open at his convenience
I painted myself as a pretty picture
and left out my ugly and temperamental nature
because I didnβt want him to leave
I painted myself as a pretty picture
for him to admire and love as it pleased him
and I ended up leaving out the real me
I wrote this poem in May of 2024.

for once I want to be missed, for once I want to be remembered
for once I want to feel valuable and worth effort
but itβs a fantasy I need to let go of
itβs a dream that will never come true
itβs time to grow up and plant my feet firmly on the ground
acknowledge my worth and hold onto my pride and dignity
and stop chasing delusions and daydreams
aside for all of the inspiration
itβs never gotten me anywhere

Mother of three
What does that even mean?
Responsibilities, obligations, duties
Alcohol and going out are taboo for me
Songs of sacrifices and martyrdom
Are the tunes I hum
Dinner with friends and
concerts are just WRONG!
Soccer games and play dates
Are my important dates
No time to spend
With my lifetime mates?
Mother of three,
Will I ever be free?